CHEATING WHILE BABY PAN DI BREAST

I don’t even know where to start. Sorrow, depression, dejection, resignation etc, all now knows me by name. The love is dead, I loathe her forthe betrayal, sex is dead, joy gone. It’s been 8 months since I made the startling discovery, I have tried to live like It didn’t happen but that didn’t work. I have tried to brace it like a man and move past it that too didn’t work.

We have had several talks about it hoping it will heal my wound but it ain’t working too. I have lost my strength to move on, my drive for success and happiness is dead. I roam aimlessly now most times not having a clear vision cos my mind is messed up. Several times I narrowly escaped ramming into a car ahead of me. I look at women now with disdain (my apologies) and infidelity boldly carved on their foreheads.

What got me all messed up like this? I found out my wife was having an affair with her senior colleague in the office who also doubles as a family friend. How did I get to know, I stumbled into an amorous email exchange between them when I wanted to help her apply for a job which has a better prospect than where she was then. It was the subject of the mail that excited my curiosity. The subject says”omwanchi” which in Kisii means “My Love”.

What is more disturbing is that they were having unprotected sex while my baby was still bosom feeding (no wonder my smart girl stopped suckling at 5 months). Our marriage will be 4 years in a couple of months time and is blessed with anadorable daughter. They both claimed it was a mistake. While I am battling to believe them, it will be of interest to note that, they didn’t go to bed just once which nullifies the claim of it being a mistake. And it will be foolhardy for anyone to believe that. One cannot make a mistake twice. The second time usually is a choice that is dully premeditated.

I am barely sticking what is left of the marriage just because of my little girl. She will be 2 in no distant time. Separation and divorce is my only option now since every other option has left me worse off. I have lost so much weight in these few months. I also want to state here that I have never cheated on my wife before. I keep asking myself what will push me to cheat because sincerely, my wife has it all; beauty and brains. Like the few people both male and female will say when they see her picture either on my phone or ipad “Guy, you have a nice wife in the market”.