19 things every FEMALE in her 20’s should know (MUST READ)

1. Love and honor your mother. Learn from her mistakes. It will save you a lot of headache in your thirties (30s) and beyond.

2. You are more talented than you’ll ever know. You don’t need to sleep with your Boss/ supervisor to get a promotion at work or better grades at school. Burn late night candles; put extra time to study and practice until you master your skill. Hard work still pays well and does not kill.

3. Women can build a strong support network. Don’t let few ladies with “Pull Her Down” {PHD} syndrome discourage you from cultivating true relationship with your female friends.

4. When a man you meet for the first time babbles about how much he earns working for an oil company and how rich he is, that is a red flag. He is either a married smooth-talker who just wants to sleep with you or he is childish. Walk away from deceit.

5. Make your own money. Start small. Maintain a stable bank account. It will keep you out of trouble.

6. When you meet your Soul mate, don’t forget to wear your most priceless ornament- submission and humility. But while waiting for him, don’t cling to any man to rescue you. Some men these days are also seeking for who will rescue them.

7. Know your body. Look at yourself in front of a full-length mirror at least once a week, naked and after clothed. Know your body and how it works.

8. Life is a gift. But to revel in it, you must be ready to put a lot into nurturing your gifts/ talents and skills. Start early.

9. Teenage ended at 19. Clocking 20 means doing away with childish behaviour. But it does not mean you should forget to have fun. You can catch fun and not be dirty.

10. Learn the basic skills and let yourself grow- from how to keep your underwear clean, cook, socialize, and network to how to drive a car.

11. Don’t do drugs. It kills. Read books, it fortifies. Dance as often as you can, it liberates your spirit, soul and body.

12. Partnership builds bridges. Don’t ever forget that.

13. Eat healthy. Learn to cook for yourself. Don’t rely on noodles alone. The cooking skill will be useful in future.

14. Don’t give up when you fail. Try again and again. Don’t give up on education/ learning.

15. Fear of the future. It is a state of mind you must learn to tame. Don’t let fear pull the carpet from under your feet. The Holy Bible tells us that God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.

16. Let go of past hurts. You cannot move forward if you keep looking back. Holding on to bitter experiences and regrets will stale your future.

17. Learn to exhale, love deeply and be kind to others, especially those of low estate, and the lowest of low.

18. You are beautiful the way you are. Don’t compare yourself to others.

19. Prayer is the master key. Have faith in God and always have the courage to use your voice wisely. Dream big today. Fear simply means False Evidence Appearing Real. Enjoy the highs and lows that come with being in your 20s but don’t be afraid to grow older. Live life to the fullest and don’t forget to smile always!

Dear columnist,
I am a regular follower of Gender Focus and I was impressed with your article entitled “Modern couples losing African warmth.” It was thoughtful of you to give counsel to young couples who are lost in modernity so that they could learn to warm up to the extended family.
I write to seek counsel on a marital problem which has been bothering me quite a lot. I am nursing a broken heart after a bitter divorce I found myself in after my wife cheated on me with another man.
Please do not reveal my true identity for obvious reasons.
My ex-wife and I lived happily until my friend got a job in the civil service after I took her to college. We got married under a traditional arrangement after we had our child out of wedlock soon after we completed school.
I would like to mention that my ex-wife and I were childhood sweethearts. I was on the Copperbelt studying when my friend moved in with me and that’s how we got married.
When my wife started working, we could not just get along until I found disturbing text messages from her boyfriend. People hinted to me that my wife was cheating on me but I could not believe it until I found disturbing text messages in her phone.
I loved this woman and was ready to forgive her then, but she personally opted for divorce because of this man who is actually married. Though not formally divorced in court, we went our separate ways because my in-laws rose against me in favour of their promiscuous daughter. With the way everything went, I felt going to court would be a waste of time. I just decided to leave the country for South Africa where I am currently working.
My wife has continued seeing this man who is married, and they have a child together.
I have tried to let bygones be bygones but it hurts me a lot because I sacrificed my meagre salary to take this woman to school. It is also disheartening to see my two children separated from me because of a selfish man who has no regard for other people’s wives.
To take you back, when my friend got pregnant, we were not ready to tie the knot because I needed to go to college. But my parents paid damages to the tune of KR320, equivalent to three cows ,and this was a substantial amount in 1991. I was on the Copperbelt when my fiancée moved in with me.
though I objected, she insisted saying her grandmother advised her that I might ditch her if we continued staying apart.
It was at this time that my wife became pregnant with our second child. After this we travelled to the village where I was asked to pay dowry.
When we came back from the village our marriage was rosy until I lost my job and relocated to my home town in the Eastern Province.

From the blues, my wife started behaving in a funny manner and denying me sex. She would travel to Lusaka every week-end without informing me. To cut the long story short, we convened a family meeting when our problems got out of hand. It was in this meeting when one of my in-laws confided in my mother that my wife was going out with a rich man in Lusaka and her parents were aware about it.
Apparently confirming it all, my wife told our elders that she was no longer interested in me. She gave no reason and that’s how we separated. A few years later, I sued my wife for reconciliation in the Lusaka Boma court, but she totally refused to take me back.

As I write to you, am hurt because I am staying outside the country while our children are with their mother. I am all by myself but my ex-wife has a third child from her lover. I need advice on how I can get my children. I support them financially- one is a school- leaver, while the other is a ninth grader.
I have given up on reconciling with my ex-wife, but I would like you to comment on prominent people in society who are wreaking havoc on other people’s marriages. I sacrificed a lot for this woman, but here is another man who is reaping where he did not sow. I feel that men should respect other people’s wives.
Please don’t mention my name, a pseudonym will do.
Dear John
I really sympathise with your plight especially that you are deeply in love with a woman whose heart you have lost to another man. It is sad that this woman decided to ‘repay’ you with an adulterous affair after sacrificing your hard-earned money by sending her to school. Despite everything that happened, I would like to commend you for empowering your ex-wife with a trade because not many men would do what you did. You meant well because you wanted your woman to be financially independent, though you were able to provide for your family. Some men would rather wives who are financially-dependent on them than those who want to work or engage in business.
You might have lost this woman to another man, but I am sure that your children will definitely benefit from the investment you made into their mother. It is good to do good to other people even if they repay you with evil.
From the tone of your letter, I feel your pain and bitterness and my encouragement to you is that this is not the end of the world. You should not allow yourself to wallow in self-pity; it’s not worth it. This woman has chosen to leave her husband to become someone’s mistress; shameful as it is, there is nothing you can do about it.
You are engrossed in bitterness because you have not forgiven your ex-wife and her lover. This may sound like a bitter pill to swallow but that’s what you need to do in order to rid your heart of that excruciating pain.
God commands us to forgive no matter how much we are wronged, and no matter how right we may be. Make a decision to let by-gones be bygones and say a little prayer so that God could help you move on in life.
As for your children, I think they are now old enough to live with either you or their mother. I know that it is usually difficult for divorced couples to amicably resolve the issue of custody of their children without seeking legal advice. I would urge you to take the matter to court and am sure that the two of you will get a fair deal.
God bless and all the best.

‘Dog Paw’, accomplice get 15 years on firearm charges
2013-03-15 15:12:02 | (0 Comments)

Barbara Gayle, Justice Coordinator

Reputed gang leader Christopher Linton more popularly known as ‘Dog Paw’ has been sentenced to 15 years in prison on firearm charges.

Linton and his co-accused Micah Allen were found guilty of gun-related charges on February 11 in the Home Circuit Court.

Allen has also been sentenced to 15 years in prison.

They convicted of shooting with intent and illegal possession of a firearm and ammunition and sentenced to 15 years on each count.

However because the sentences will run at the same time, they will only spend 15 years in prison.

Their attorneys have indicated that they will appeal.

The Crown led evidence that on April 11, 2010 Linton and Allen were among a group of gunmen who shot at a police team along Tavern Drive, St Andrew.

A third accused, Ricardo Jones, was freed in January following a no-case submission.

Meanwhile, the Commissioner of Police, Owen Ellington is praising police investigators and members of the office of the Director of Public Prosecutions following the sentencing.

“I would like to congratulate the quality work done by Police investigators in preparing an air tight case file which led to the convictions and prosecutors from the DDP’s office for their input, advice and advocacy which played a significant role in bringing this particular case to a successful conclusion,” the Commissioner said.

Bank Employee Confesses To Sleeping With Men At Least 56 Times Every Week, Including Her Boss

One of our reporters(name withheld) met the shock of his life few days back at the Elegushi beach, Victoria Island Lagos while chatting with the lady whose photo you have above.

To his disbelief the 26 years old lady who identified herself as Ella, boldly told our reporter that she loves sex so much so that she enjoys it more than real food.

According to the lady whose I’d Card revealed that she is a marketer with one of the new generation banks, she likes coming to the beach side which is very close her house, every evening to chill out and ‘most
importantly get laid’.

“See, I don’t need money from any guy. All I want is good,hot sex! But my the problem I have with most of you guys is that you are not bold enough to ask a girl you just met for sex even though you all want it.
Most girls want it too, they want you to just make the move to shag them, even if they are complaining or insulting you don’t stop. You know we girls pretend a lot.”, she opened up.

As if that was not enough, Ella threw the bombshell “I have sex with my boss every day in his office. The chauffeur too every evening, but they can’t satisfy me at all. That’s why I have to come here every evening
to get laid by more guys. I must have sex at least 8 times every day. It’s like heaven!”.

Ella went on to explain to our reporter that she couldn’t wait to complete this week’s dose of 56 rounds of hot sex.

She also acknowledged the fact that many would think it is abnormal, but she insisted that making love eight times a day can’t really satisfy her.
She believes that there is nothing wrong in being a sex addict.

” All the men I have met always have to admit they can’t cope with my sexual urge. I have sex about eight times on an average daily.”

What’s this world turning into?