MEN ONLY: Things you should never SAY to a WOMAN.

They say men are from Mars and women are from Venus. This explains why most men have landed in trouble after their well intended complements get a very different reaction and sometimes the consequences of a seemingly harmless comment like you cook like my mother can be disastrous. Yeah it can be a reason not to get laid for sometime..

Below are 7 things men should NEVER say to a women.

1: Never even imply that a woman is fat.

Don’t do it, under any circumstances! Not even if: She’s bone thin. It’s a joke. She really is fat. She just called you fat.

It’s never okay! Women internalize that kind of thing much more than a man will, so if you call her fat, she will remember it for the rest of her life. It will wreck her self-esteem because women are taught that being fat is basically the worst thing they can ever be.

Maybe they’re too sensitive. Maybe they need to lighten up. But that isn’t an excuse for you to be a tad disrespectful.

If you want to tease her, find another way. If she really is fat, get a life and find something more worthwhile to talk about. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

2: Don’t talk about the women from your past, and especially don’t compare your current lady to them!

If you find yourself getting ready to break this rule, glue your mouth before it’s too late! No woman wants to hear it, even if it’s a compliment. If any of these statements are part of your normal conversation, drop them immediately: I’ve been with a lot of women. You’re hotter than the last girl I dated. Don’t worry, I’ve been with bigger women than you.

Save that kind of talk for your buddies because ladies definitely have no interest in your other conquests. Unless they gave you an STD.

3: Don’t compare her to her mother.

Even if a woman does want to be just like her mother, she definitely doesn’t want you to be attracted to her mother!

Avoid all comparisons whatsoever. You never know what she does or doesn’t like about her mom. She could love her sense of humor but hate her fashion sense! She could want to emulate her cooking abilities but loathe her parenting skills. If you don’t comment on any of it, you’re better off!

4: Never compare her to your mother.

There are few things worse than comparing your girlfriend to your mother.This will imply the following: It’s hinting that you’re attracted to your mother. Women tend to have a complicated relationship with their mother-in-law. She may hate your mother but hasn’t told you to spare your feelings.

Even if she is the spitting image of your mommy dearest, never say so. Keep it to yourself. Forever.

5: Don’t talk about how hot another woman is.

The girl you’re with is the hottest, sexiest person on the face of the earth. She might obviously not, but she wants to feel like you hold her above other women! Even if it’s someone completely harmless, like Angelina Jolie, I promise you that your girl doesn’t want to hear it.

It’ll make her insecure. It’ll make her jealous. Do you really want to have to deal with the behavior that stems from that?

6: Never ask a woman’s age.

This one is pretty obvious. As women get older, they start to feel like their body is falling apart. They realize that their looks are deteriorating, and they much prefer to think that nothing has changed.

So when you comment on her age, or try to fish the information out of her, it’s like pointing out that you’ve noticed she isn’t as young as she once was. There are two alternatives that can help in talking about a woman’s age:Either Guess that she’s at least 10 years younger than she probably is or Don’t bring it up at all.

7: Never call her by someone else’s name.

Women like to feel special, and one way to let them know that they mean a lot to you is to call them by their name. It’s an easy way to show that you care!

But on the flip side, calling her by the wrong name will show her that you couldn’t care less, and/or that you’re confusing her for someone else.

Not cool! Learn her name, and use it correctly. Trust me on this; she’ll really appreciate it.

Chacha.

FLAGS FLOWING LOW by metshani

All you would-be peeping Toms be warned!

Wondering what’s being said – visit Mollen Ndlovu at Khami Prison for answers.

Ndlovu – a landlord at a house in Nkulumane will for the next two months be serving time at the correctional facility for failing to control his lustful eyes.

News crew breaks it down for you how Ndlovu found himself in this mess.

It is reported that on 8 November a tenant at Ndlovu’s house, Junior Ndlovu, was taking a bath in the bathroom.

Driven by the desire to see what assets his tenant possessed, the man proceeded to the bathroom and quietly opened the window before peeping inside.

While he was trying to satisfy his yearnings, the woman spotted him.

It seems like Ndlovu was not embarrassed by being caught playing peeping Tom and continued admiring the woman’s assets.

This reportedly did not go down well with her as she instructed him to move away from the window.

He later closed the window and left.

After bathing, the woman interrogated him over his actions but he rebuked her threatening her with eviction.

On the following day, the two are said to have met along a passage in the house.

Once again the woman demanded answers pertaining to the incident.

That is said to have infuriated Ndlovu who slapped the woman a number of times on the face after which he ordered her to pack her belongings and vacate his house.

She refused and the man threatened to kill her.

Noticing that Ndlovu might translate his fiery words to action, the woman left and reported the issue to the police.

Ndlovu was arrested and found himself at the mercy of Western Commonage magistrate Mr Richard Ramaboea on a charge of criminal insult relating to his peeping antics and another of physical abuse.

At the end, Ndlovu got a sentence befitting of his actions as seen by the magistrate.

Daily Bread
by Cara Hanson

When I enter the Kingdom, I’ll be expecting a “welcome” buffet table with a dazzling array of all of the tempting and decadent foods we’re not supposed to be eating now. Every sumptuous dessert that I ever avoided for fear of clogging my arteries would be waiting for me as a reward. (Oh, look! There’s the Ten Layer Chocolate Death on a Plate that I always wanted to try! You saved a piece for me? Thank you, Lord!) Even if this fantasy never materializes, there is just one humble request for Kingdom food that I have for my merciful Lord: Please let it be cut into bite size pieces.

As a mom of three hungry youngsters, I am constantly cutting food. Since nearly everything is a choking hazard, I am slicing, dicing, peeling, and chopping until my hands ache worse than an arthritic lumberjack on a rainy morning. Something as simple as bringing home a pizza turns into an Olympic event of how quickly I can divide twelve slices of pizza into one hundred pieces small enough to feed the island of Lilliputians [1]. Naturally, I am drawn to the biblical record of Jesus feeding five thousand men, plus women and children.

Matthew 14:19-21
(19) And he [Jesus] directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people.
(20) They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over.
(21) The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children.

Some miraculous events occurred in this record, including the fact that Jesus was able to feed over five thousand people with only five loaves of bread and two fish. But what about the fact that twelve basketfuls were left over–already broken into bite size pieces?! Please send them to my house!

Jesus used food figuratively on many occasions, trying to hammer home his point with a concept that all humans could understand. After feeding crowds of over 5,000 (above), and 4,000 (Matt. 15:29-38), he must have been dismayed at his disciples’ lack of understanding when he told them to be on their guard “against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees” (Matt. 16:6). Apparently thinking that Jesus wouldn’t notice, they formed a team huddle on the boat, during which they asked, “Who forgot to bring the sandwiches?”

Matthew 16:7-12
(7) They discussed this among themselves and said, “It is because we didn’t bring any bread.”
(8) Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked, “You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread?
(9) Do you still not understand? Don’t you remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered?
(10) Or the seven loaves for four thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered?
(11) How is it you don’t understand that I was not talking to you about bread? But be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.”
(12) Then they understood that he was not telling them to guard against the yeast used in bread, but against the teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees.”

Jesus’ yeast analogy did “sink in,” but not into their brains; it ricocheted off their heads and right out of the boat, sinking into the wet abyss. Perhaps they had inherited this from their ancestors, who were equally clueless when it came to food.

When the children of Israel were wandering in the desert, they complained about the food and drink on several occasions. God graciously set up the very first continental breakfast, although instead of stale doughnuts and coffee, it was manna, also known as “the grain of heaven” and “the bread of angels” (Ps.78:24-25). Were the Israelites thankful? Nooooo. They complained about not eating meat. In a scene reminiscent of a parent (okay, me) reacting to petulant children whining about lima beans at the dinner table, God had endured enough:

Numbers 11:18-20
(18) “Tell the people: ‘Consecrate yourselves in preparation for tomorrow, when you will eat meat. The LORD heard you when you wailed, “If only we had meat to eat! We were better off in Egypt!” Now the LORD will give you meat, and you will eat it.
(19) You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, ten or twenty days,
(20) but for a whole month–until it comes out of your nostrils and you loathe it–because you have rejected the LORD, who is among you, and have wailed before him, saying, “Why did we ever leave Egypt?”

I’ve seen people have milk come out of their nose, but quail? With so much whining and complaining from His children, it’s no wonder God set up Jesus as our perpetual bread. In John 6:35, Jesus referred to himself as “the bread of life.” He then declared that whoever comes to him will never hunger or thirst. This concept is intriguing to me, as some days it seems like I have just finished feeding my kids breakfast, and it is already time to get ready for lunch. Lunch barely passes and it’s time to prepare dinner. The process never ends, even when I want to say, “What? I just fed you yesterday–that’s not enough?” Through Jesus Christ, God gave us exactly what we needed to be fulfilled. We never have to ask to see the menu again.

The children of Israel were only to gather the amount of manna that they needed on a daily basis. At our house, that would be a huge adjustment. We shop at retail warehouse stores, where we pay an annual membership fee for the privilege of buying, among other things, a colossal vat of mayonnaise that is too big to even store in the garage. In Jesus’ example of prayer, he told his disciples to ask, “Give us today our daily bread” (Matt. 6:11). We are not supposed to get born again, store up the goods, and walk away. How is it that we can perfunctorily eat our Fruit Loops for breakfast without a second thought, but forget to consume our spiritual food that is available through our Lord? Jesus is the daily bread that we need in order to be fulfilled each day. I have discovered that the bigger our appetite for him, the more he will fill us.

When our kids are going through a growth spurt, they eat us out of hearth and home, sending us on yet another trip to that warehouse store for more tubs of food that won’t fit in our cupboards. Just when I’m wondering if one of my boys has a tapeworm or why he looks like he’s wearing elf clothes, I realize that six months have passed and he has grown yet again. Likewise, when we grow or mature spiritually, we “feed” more off of our bread of life, Jesus Christ. I didn’t understand how to have a closer relationship with him until I decided to just ask him, and guess what? He answered. I don’t know what I had been waiting for; he had already sent me an invitation. Now I feel like I might be able to survive if I had to skip breakfast, but not if I had to miss my time with my Lord!

Job 23:12b
I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread.

When I was a child, a popular joke was “You are what you eat!” The timing had to be perfect, of course, such as when someone was about to bite into a wiener or meatball. (Yes, we were so witty in those days.) Now I see that there is some truth to that saying, for we are spiritually what we “eat” from the Word of God.

Matthew 4:4
Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'”

At the last supper, Jesus broke the bread and said,

1 Corinthians 11:24b-26
(24) …”This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.”
(25) In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.”
(26) For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.

Jesus is our daily bread during our time on this earth, but some day we will be eating our meals with him in his kingdom. Can you picture yourself dining with Jesus, like the apostles in the legendary da Vinci painting of The Last Supper [2]? What will it be like to fellowship and break bread with our Lord? I don’t even care what he’s serving…as long as it’s in bite size pieces, of course.