Family Conflicts

Family Conflicts – What Are They?
Family conflicts are as varied as the people involved in them. The turmoil can result from a workaholic husband whose wife feels lonely and resentful toward him (and the job that takes him away from her), or children who are a source of continual family conflict and aggravation due to the parent’s lack of consistent parenting skills, or blended families in which an unaccepted step parent or interfering in-laws are the sources of family conflict. In other homes, couples and families are torn apart by verbal, emotional, or physical abuse.1

If you find yourself in family conflict, be encouraged that there is hope for your situation, whether you are the problem, or someone else is causing the conflict in your home.

Family Conflicts – A Personal Story
Before becoming a Christian, I lived for ten years with an alcoholic who was abusive, verbally and emotionally. I finally had enough of the continual family conflicts and I left him and my sad and empty lifestyle. (I smoked cigarettes and marijuana and was a heavy drinker).

Once I left, I thought in time that my emotional scars would heal but, after getting married, I found they were still raw and painful. It has taken a lot of love, prayer, trust, and patience for my husband and me to resolve the family conflict issues that followed me into our marriage.

Whether only you are searching for solutions to family conflict, or whether your spouse or other family members also want harmony, there are actions you can take immediately to begin changing your own behavior, and your response to the behavior of your spouse and family.

Family Conflicts – Creating Harmony In Your Home
Not only did I bring the pain from life with an alcoholic into my marriage, I discovered that my own selfishness and pride are causes of family conflict (James 4:1-10). In seeking to rid myself of both, God gave me wisdom (James 3:13-18, Colossians 3:16) during my personal Bible studies to see that I was not practicing the biblical strategies listed below.2 I applied them in my relationships with my spouse and family and found them highly effective for conflict resolution when diligently, energetically, and prayerfully practiced.

Train yourself to believe the best about your spouse and family (1 Corinthians 13:7). Rather than assuming your husband left his socks on the floor – again — just to annoy you, remind yourself how hard he worked today, what a good provider he is, and that he probably just forgot to pick them up.

Count your blessings (Philippians 4:6, Colossians 3:17). Instead of grumbling to yourself about what you lack, remind yourself — and be thankful — for all you have.

Be helpful, comforting, encouraging, and pleasant around your family (Matthew 7:12, James 3:8-10). If you practice being helpful, offering comfort, giving a word of encouragement, and being courteous and upbeat, you will likely find that your family will begin responding with the same kind of behavior toward you, and each other.

Be willing to admit it when you are wrong — and be willing to apologize (James 1:19-20, Ephesians 4:26-27, Proverbs 29:11). Not only will you mend a rift in your relationship, you will set an example for your spouse, children, and family.
Family Conflicts – Aggressive Steps Toward Breaking the Cycle
If your situation is one of repetitive, severely escalating family conflicts, then you or your spouse may need to explore techniques of anger management or, if children are the cause of the family conflict, learn about anger management for parents. family counseling is an option when you all desire to work as a team to resolve your problems, and if marriage conflict is the difficulty, marriage counseling may be the key to restoration and a rekindling of your love for each other.

Since wisdom from God is the greatest foundation on which we can build lives of love and peace, let’s turn again to the Bible to unlock the heart of family conflict:

“The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. . . . When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: . . . hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy . . . But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. . . . Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another” (Galatians 5:16-26).

How Can God Help Me?

1 If you are living in an abusive situation, you should swiftly seek protection and safety from the abuser. God has established authorities (Romans 13:1-5) — police, judges, and courts — to protect you and your family from abuse. Not only is your safety important to God, He made it the responsibility of law enforcement officials to protect you, and those you love, and punish the abuser.

2 Another principle for conflict resolution is to remove the word “but” from your vocabulary. When you say it, you cancel out everything before the “but.” You also cancel an apology on your part when you state a reason — after the “but” — for doing whatever you did. For example: “I’m sorry for yelling but if you weren’t so aggravating I wouldn’t have to yell.” In this nstance, the key is to apologize for your own behavior, rather than coupling your apology — and crippling it — with an accusation.

Keiva yuh tun saint? Mi haffi ask  kaws dis is sirryus..Keiva dah ting deh tame now? Kaw mi refuse fi believe seh yuh of all persons a watch smaddy tings and run carry back people dem to dem inlaw and bare tings…KEIVAAAAAA BOBIESHA COME A YUH STORE AND BEAT OUT YUH WATSITNAT PRAPPALYY…Nex time yuh fi shet up yuh mout yuh  an tek yuh mout outa people business ESPECIALLY WHEN YUH IS NO GOODAS

And under his heel…is da famous, da tallest NIKKI TRENDY, he kicks he scoressssss  retired man tekkaaaaaaaa Shanoyia…And the balls run down the field and up di bank…rolls right under…di cross hangry..misahrebbel grung gad ex ooman SAKINA..saladdddd right up ina groupieville!BUM BANG… now Teddy yuh know yuh wife Tiesha dow play and not fi hell yuh hudda really behave….whey di brown girl whey yuh breed an she lose di baby whey day deh?…Dem seh di amount a groupie yuh tek dem nameless and yuh nah stap.. Mi did tink when man play sports dem keep di sex to a minimum but not di jamaican ball players ooooooooo a dem seh sling hood an balls fus goal laytah

Stage show turmoil – ‘Bounty Killer’, ‘Vybz Kartel’ run for cover
Dozens injured in stone, bottle-throwing incident
BY SIMONE MORGAN Observer staff reporter [email protected]
Monday, February 28, 2011

THE throwing of bottles and stones as well as the sound of gunshots yesterday morning forced Jamaican dancehall deejays ‘Bounty Killer’ and ‘Vybz Kartel’ to run for cover, while patrons attending the ‘Magnum Follow Di Arrow’ stage show sought refuge under the stage, behind speaker boxes and other places they thought safe as the popular event ended in chaos.
A pregnant woman was among dozens of screaming patrons injured during the incident but it was not clear what their conditions were up to press time last night.
Frightened patrons cover for safety during yesterday’s stone and bottle-throwing incident during the Magnum Follow Di Arrow stage show at James Bond Beach in St Mary. (Photo: Marlon Reid)
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Bounty, who had exited the stage for just a few seconds when the missiles first started taking aim at the stage, made a brave return, shouting “Mi na run after mi na play dandy shandy” (a game played by children). However, just after the ‘announcement’ the deejay and members of his Alliance team were seen running for cover.
DJ Sunshine who was seen cowering on the stage was ‘saved’ when someone used a chair to protect her head, while MC Ragashanti (Dr Kingsley Stewart), who minutes before was urging the crowd to “stay calm” had to beat a hasty retreat as bottles pelted the stage.
It was not clear if the police were the ones firing during the melee.
The show, held at the James Bond Beach in St Mary, was going well until a brief appearance by the controversial Bounty Killer (Rodney Price) at minutes to 5:00 am after MC Ragashanti announced that the Anger Management Band would be making its way centre stage in preparation for “the final chapter of the morning’s show”. Some patrons were expecting a clash between Bounty Killer and Vybz Kartel, while others just wanted the chance to see the two deejays in action. At the entrance of the VIP gate a verbal clash suddenly turned physical between members of Bounty Killer’s Alliance and members of the security forces after team members allegedly tried to force their way backstage. Bounty and a few members of his team were eventually allowed access to the stage, but not before the artiste was shoved with a baton by a security personnel. Another member of the Alliance team was also physically abused by a security personnel.
Despite the fuss, MC Ragashanti encouraged the dancehall artiste to take the stage when about two minutes into his performance he began criticising a newspaper report that spoke of a possible clash between himself and his rival Vybz Kartel, then the missiles started flying.
Deejay Vybz Kartel (Adidja Palmer), who appeared on the stage when the throwing stopped for a few minutes himself had to take cover as the throwing of bottles again started. “Weh mi Gaza fan dem deh!” shouted Kartel as he took the microphone, much to the surprise of many as most people had believed that the show had ended. Approximately 15 seconds later Kartel, too, had to run for safety.
The bottle throwing got worse, and during a stampede, tears rolled down the faces of a few women huddled together and blood and open wounds could be seen on the bodies of some.
Last night, the show’s sponsor — Magnum — condemned what it said was the action of a few who “caused the inconvenience of many. The 2011 staging of Magnum Follow Di Arrow started with ‘positive vibes’, leading to several excellent performances, supported by equally good production. However, the ‘positive vibes’ were shattered when an unfortunate incident led to the end of what could have been the best Magnum Follow Di Arrow to date.”
Magnum said that following discussions with both the promoters and the security forces they could not confirm any reports of injuries requiring medical attention.
Magnum, however, said “positive dancehall” must be supported and we vowed to continue supporting “the best that dancehall has to offer”.

Mi nuh really know wha fi call she………………… how she reach ina di party? did she pay? where did she get the wig? is that really a panty?

Kaws it look like some door stop talk cause all like she now…………….. shudden cross NUH kina threshold