A JAMAICAN DEM YAH ENO
A judge gave custody of the toddler to other relatives after a hearing Friday. The father, who was not married to 33-year-old Julia Bennett but had the boy with her, was visiting her apartment when the shooting occurred Wednesday night.
The father has not been charged and police have not identified him.
The father called 911 after the shooting and said the child had somehow accessed his 9 mm semiautomatic and accidentally fired it, killing the boy’s mother. Miramar Police have said the father has a concealed weapons permit for the firearm.
Bennett’s family does not believe the child shot her and said the boy doesn’t understand what happened.
“He misses his mother. He keeps calling `mommy, mommy’,” his great aunt, Marva Anglin, said. “It’s very sad.”
Judge Arlene Simon ordered the boy to stay with Anglin and
judge gave custody of the toddler to other relatives after a hearing Friday. The father, who was not married to 33-year-old Julia Bennett but had the boy with her, was visiting her apartment when the shooting occurred Wednesday night.
The father has not been charged and police have not identified him.
The father called 911 after the shooting and said the child had somehow accessed his 9 mm semiautomatic and accidentally fired it, killing the boy’s mother. Miramar Police have said the father has a concealed weapons permit for the firearm.
Bennett’s family does not believe the child shot her and said the boy doesn’t understand what happened.
“He misses his mother. He keeps calling `mommy, mommy’,” his great aunt, Marva Anglin, said. “It’s very sad.”
Judge Arlene Simon ordered the boy to stay with Anglin and his great-grandmother.
Family members said Bennett worked at a hospital and was going to school. They have never met the child’s father, but told the judge they did not want him in their home for supervised visits with the child.
The judge granted that request, ruling the father could have supervised visits as long as it was outside of Anglin’s home.
Bennett’s aunt, Valerie Thompson, said they are still reeling from her death.
“We were so devastated. We could not believe it,” she said.
A telephone call and e-mail to Miramar Police was not immediately returned Friday.
The Department of Children and Families has met with Anglin’s family and said they would assist with whatever services were needed, including child care.
BITTER CANDY 2
BITTER CANDY 2
Peter was acting weird now and I was not even able to get a word across when he came in late. I would get up and go to school and although he would still give me money for that our communication was sour. It is very likely that he did not want me to ask him about what he was doing so the only things he really said to me was if I was O.K. The other times he would ask me to make calls for him or count money. He hid a lot of money in the house at times. He would give me anywhere from 5,000 to 10,000 dollars and I would not need that money for school so I would save most of it. Peter seemed on the outside very nice but he had to be devious to do some of the things he did. One Saturday he promised me that he was going to take me out and he did not show up until Sunday morning. I confronted him and he gave me a nice slap across my face. After which he promised never to do that again but I was sure that things could go either way so I tried to avoid any confrontation. He had a lot of aliases and I did not know his real name until long after I met him so if you see me referring to him as Dean, Peter, Ian, Cedric or Indian its the same person. Anyway Peter had a way with his words he was persuasive, pushy and controlling but you would never see that because he was soft spoken. The girl (Diane) that his friend was dating would speak to Peter all the time on the phone about business. I was doing sixth form and it was hard to deal with Peter, Dean and the rest of his personalities plus education. Diane would always smoke and I would watch her and wandered what it felt like. I like it a lot and continued to do it because it made me mellow and made me cope with what was going on. Peter tried to give me alcohol but I did not indulge because I never see him drinking so why should I. Diane came around and I was impressed with her at that time because she always looked good. She carried her self in a way that I envied, however she could not speak to save her life. She told me that she was “out” school at thirteen and she never went to high school she went to an All Age school. In her defence she made gold out of dirt with the experience that she had but she was not smart. Diane talked to me a lot and she got very comfortable around me when she smoked and well told me a lot of things about Peter and her Boyfriend (Tony). Her situation must have been hard because most of her life she was around this kind of thing and never really had any one to relate to but I still did not trust her.
Dean and I would have sex like twice a week and he would always bathe just as he would come in to the house. Then he would have sex with me. At first I did not understand what that meant but now I know that means that he was neatly cheating. I had a good sense of smell and I would smell Diane’s perfume all over him but I did not say a word I just went with it because I did not want to get my ass beaten. Dean would always tell me that he was getting in on something big and when that lock he would be the real big man. Whenever he spoke about doing anything with money he would have real emotion but whenever it came to anything else he would just be nonchalant. Many nights I would hear him on the phone speaking when he thought I was asleep. One night I heard him saying that he was pulling through something and he just had to have the right lines connected and everything would work. When I connected my lines I realised that Diane was meeting him behind Tony’s back and he was also sleeping with Diane. I really could not do anything at the time I only became bitter and when it was too much I would smoke. I was not like her at the time I could not compete. Then I stopped going to school because I just could not be bothered with it and decided to do my exams privately. I already had CXCs and did very well this would be no different I just needed to study which I loved doing when I was high.
Staying in the house most of the time made me aware of how beautiful I was and then I started listening to a lot of conscious music and I started looking at things in a different way. As far a Peter sleeping with his friends girlfriend that soon felt no way to me except that I did not want to have any diseases. I also felt that I loved him sometimes. It was up and down for me. The less sex I thought the better I then asked him to use condoms and well that was taken care of because it was like I was looking out for his best interest. He wanted me to do something and I could not do it if I was pregnant, he loved money so much that he did not hesitate to do anything to attain it. He had to make sure that I would be ready to make the journey for him and that nothing was in the way . The only reason why Diane spoke to me was to make me comfortable with the idea of travelling to do their business. Telling me her sob stories about when she finished school and whatever was because she knew that she could not pass through immigration with that amount of money. I was glad for the company any how because she taught me a lot about clothes and shoes. Marijuana was my real company now anyway I was happy and down to earth Peter was getting nicer because it was coming close for this big trip he had plans I mean this was a a lot of money. He told me that after I would go to Florida on my return we would get married and have children and I could run his business. Butterflies filled my stomach! I told him that I could not wait for that to happen. I loved him so much.
The big day had come and I was to leave Jamaica go to Florida and deliver the money and return to Jamaica. The other side was if I got caught I should not contact him about it.He said he would find out and send some one to see about my bail. But, if all went well I would just need to come back here and live our lives happily ever after. He also told me that I should not worry about Diane because he was going to get rid of her. He said that he loved me and he did not want Diane because she was not his kind of girl. He had a very sincere tone. Diane and this other girl fixed up my body with the money and gave me the luggage and my documents which were ready for a while and well they rehearsed with me and showed me the person that I should check in with at the airport. My face and hair was done I looked like a different person. Diane even said to me that I my look was “Bitta”. I was very nervous and afraid I did not see Peter when I was leaving I was brought to the airport in a Taxi because he said that he did not want to draw any attention to me. The taxi dropped me off at the airport at 10:00 am I called him to tell him that I arrived and he said don’t worry everything will be good. I recited the name and everything I was ready!
BUN DOWN?
WHEN rumours swirled that actress Halle Berry’s ex Gabriel Aubry was dating socialite-turned-reality TV-actress Kim Kardashian, entertainment blogs lit up with commentary that Aubry had done a massive downgrade. Kardashian was cute in her own right, some argued, but from Halle, named as one of the world’s most beautiful to Kim, best known for a sex tape?
It was a similar reaction when American movie star Sandra Bullock’s ex Jesse James was found to have cheated with tattoo model Michelle McGee. The consensus was that sure, it’s hurtful when men cheat, but some women are even more hurt when the ‘competition’ is a woman considered to be a downgrade — less educated, less attractive and less intelligent.
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“It feels degrading to the wife,” Clinical Psychologist Dr Pearnel Bell said. “It makes her feel worse that he has taken up with this woman. Not only does she feel worse, but she is measuring it to say ‘who is this man I married who stooped to something like this?'”
In explaining why men downgrade, Dr Bell said many men in mid-life crisis begin to feel less of a man and sometimes want to find out if they are still as good as they once were, and so they try to see how many women they can still get.
“Psychologically when they feel this way they cheat to feel better about themselves,” she explained. “These other women will glorify them. They (downgrades) will lack knowledge so they seek advice from them. This makes the men feel good about themselves and this massages their egos.”
Dr Bell explained that at this point the 80/20 rule will apply wherein the man feels he is only getting 80 per cent at home and that he is missing out on something with his spouse (20 per cent), especially if the relationship has grown complacent over the years.
One young woman who proudly proclaimed that she was the ‘other woman’, declared, “maybe ’cause we can spice things up in the bed, give them something they aren’t getting at home. If she (wife) was taking care of him then ugly women like me wouldn’t have a chance. But some hot women behave like they’re too prim and proper and can’t get freaky.”
Dr Michele Lewin, clinical psychologist at the Oxford Medical Centre on Old Hope Road in St Andrew, said men often choose beneath their partners because of their immediate needs and their refusal to delay their gratification.
“I think that we all have needs,” Dr Lewin said. “It is not necessarily that they (men) don’t love their wives. But sometimes they have some needs that they think their wife cannot fulfil — and I say think.”
Dr Lewin said despite the fact that the other wom
an is considered a downgrade from the wife or steady partner, she may be in a position to listen and stroke his ego more since the wife may be too busy in the short-term dealing with her career and caring for the children. The other woman could be unemployed and in a better position to give him all the time and attention he craves.
“And so you find that the wife may not be able to do that at the time. So it is an unfair situation to her (wife),” she explained. “He has basic needs and he is not prepared to delay that gratification.”
Dr Lewin explained that while the wife may not be in a position to satisfy his basic needs, the other woman may be able to, despite how she looks or her lack of achievements.
She too agreed that the spouse would be devastated by the cheating instead of feeling some level of comfort knowing the other woman is no comparison to her.
While declaring that they would not go down this path, but would instead cheat with someone in their own class or above that of their wives, two men interviewed in Cross Roads, Tony Brown and Peter Gordon, said men who downgrade are worthless or just looking for a cheap fling.
“It would have to be someone who is better than my woman [that I would cheat with],” Brown said. “I would have to take up another woman who can help out financially. Men who cheat with women who are downgrades from their wives are worthless, cruff — that don’t make sense!”
Said Gordon, who has been in a common-law relationship for 14 years: “Maybe he is looking for less expense, and that woman would be cheaper to maintain. A woman in his wife’s class is more expensive to maintain. And sometimes the wife may not want to go out but the sweetheart may be the type who loves to go out to certain places.”
But Pauline Brown, a businesswoman who admits that she has a lot of male friends who confide in her, said when it comes to downgrading, it is all about the comfort that men gain.
“It’s not a matter of looks, creed or money,” she said. “It’s about comfort. Sometimes some women at home nag and are insecure. So the problems he’s getting from home he’s not getting it from outside, because the outside woman already knows that he had his wife. He is not doing it for money or creed so it must be for the comfort!”
She added: “Sometimes a man goes outside the relationship and finds an ugly duckling and the comfort that he gets from her, he would swim to the bottom of the sea to reach that ugly duckling. Sometimes he wants the x-rated and the outside girl will do it. Because need on her part will make a woman do anything! So it’s not about looks or creed — it must be for the comfort.”
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