God and abortion and forgiveness – Is forgiveness possible?

For many years, I thought, “God will never forgive me for the abortions.”

When I was younger, I had three pregnancies terminated. Even though I wasn’t very familiar with God at the time, I remember lying on the table, looking up, and asking God to forgive me. I didn’t understand what I was doing. For some reason, I felt that abortion was wrong, but I also felt like I had no choice. For a number of years afterwards, I went through many emotional problems and had overwhelming thoughts of suicide. My days were dark, even though I thought that I had put the abortions behind me.

I was supposed to be free, but I wasn’t!

I was stuck in my lonely world and no one knew of what I had done except one ex-boyfriend and my mother, who only knew of one of the abortions.

How could I tell anyone about this?

I felt like God couldn’t forgive me, let alone love me.

There came a point in my life where I realized I was a sinner. I had displeased God. I learned that He sent His Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for my sins. God knew everything I had done and He still stood right by my side – wanting to forgive me, make me His child, and give me hope for living.

It took me a long time to understand that I was forgiven for these abortions. One day, I sat at home alone crying to God to forgive me for having the abortions, and in my heart I heard the Lord say to me, “I forgave you the day you asked.” I felt the forgiveness of God in my heart at that moment.

It wasn’t that God needed to forgive me over and over again. I needed to forgive myself. I had been holding on to my own unforgiveness. It has taken some time to learn to forgive myself, but I know the Lord has forgiven me and He forgives all those who ask. He forgave me before I even truly believed in Him because He made me and He loves me. He is the God of the broken and the weary, not the perfect and the pure.

I know now that there is nothing that can separate me from the love of Christ. Sins, including abortion, can be forgiven.

So now I can tell others about the abortions in my past because they aren’t about how horrible I am, but about how great God’s love is and how His mercy, grace, and forgiveness are unending.

Psalm 103:11-13 says, “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him.”

I HAVE RECEIVED EMAILS FROM QUITE A FEW PEOPLE WANTING TO SIGN UP…I REOPENED THE MEMBERSHIP SLOT AND IT WILL BE OPENED UNTIL SUNDAY FOR ALL OF YOU WHO WANT TO SIGN UP.I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO KEEP IT OPEN FOR LONG BECAUSE IT WILL CREATE A LOT OF SPAMMING

TO THE MANY MUSICIANS WISHING FOR THEIR SONGS TO BE PUT UP..I WISH I WERE ABLE TO DO SO FOR FREE BUT IT WILL NOT BE POSSIBLE AS MY HOSTING SERVICE HAS BEEN CHARGING ME UP TO$40 A DAY FOR OVERAGES WHEN THESE FILES ARE ADDED. IF YOU WANT YOUR VIDEO TO BE POSTED PLEASE BE ADVISED THERE WILL BE A FEE OF $30 FOR THE POSTING AS IT IS UNFAIR THAT I PAY FOR THIS KIND OF DATA WHICH WILL BE TO YOUR BENEFIT
You are using an exorbitant amount of bandwidth (more than any customer I’ve ever seen use before, ever). You’re already on one of our largest plans (one that is bigger than anything we offer today).

Thank you,

MDD.

IT DEH YERE! AN A YASSO NICEEE 

Dem seh DAVID MAVADO BROOKS MARRIED FI CHOOT FI CHOOT…. BABY MADDAZ DED ROUND YERE AND OVA DERE SUH! MO WIN DI RING DI RING…A HUNGLE HOPE HIM KNOW DI PAYPAH WHEY SIGN OOOOOOO CAUSE UNNO KNOW HIM CYAA  A-B- OR C GOOD OO

Woman pours oil on man caught raping her daughter
By Rickie Ramdass [email protected]

Story Updated: Jan 3, 2012 at 11:56 PM ECT
POLICE are searching for the mother of a 13-year-old girl after she poured hot oil over the body of a man while he was in the process of raping her daughter. The incident took place over the Christmas weekend .
Investigators said, when the woman arrived at her San Juan home, she heard her daughter’s muffled screams coming from one of the bedrooms. When she looked into the room, she reportedly saw the 27-year-old man on top of the girl carrying out the act.
Unknown to him and the girl, the woman, police said, went to her kitchen where she placed a pot with oil on the stove to heat. After some time, she reportedly took the pot and its contents and went to the bedroom where she confronted the man before pouring the oil over his body.
Police said the man began to scream and ran out of the house and into the street naked. He later went to a hospital to receive treatment, but eventually discharged himself.
The man surrendered to police of the San Juan Police Station last Wednesday but up to yesterday he had not been charged with the offence.
Investigators said the man suffered severe burns to his face and other parts of his body and had to be taken back to the Port of Spain General Hospital for treatment.
PC Ramcharitar of the San Juan Police Station is probing the incident.

http://www.trinidadexpress.com/news/Woman_pours_oil_on_man_caught_raping_her_daughter-136636298.html

MI MAILBOX FLOWING OVA WID DESE PICTURES BUT MI REALLY WAA ASK HOW ALL OF A SUDDEN EVEN SUCK HOOD PIC A ENGLAND IT A COME FROM.. A STYLE NOW?

LEMON RINDS- The Jamaican Entertainment Industry.

After rummaging through youtube for excerpts of The Lauren O Lauren show , and quickly scanning through it , I ended up talking to myself mostly, ranting like a crazy woman. How does a Jamaican sound like a wanna be white !@#$$? I am not taking shots at Lauren because it’s all I see around, I mean in the industry, the slow evolution into Americanization. Then….I began to think of all that is wrong with the industry :-

Jamaicans are natural born leaders we were among the first to rebel, and among the first to demand, fight and hold our own freedom. We are off-springs from the Koromantis and our characteristics included:- discipline, stubbornness, and pride.  These were carefully noted by our captors as it was natural for us to desire the top spot . Unbeknownst to them, these were the reasons why we were unable to remain caged. Our stubborn pride would not allow us, we wanted to lead, like our captors.

Music was our forefather’s way of surviving hard , harsh work days away, their  songs were mostly about the work they tried to get done before sundown.  Jamaican slaves were almost the only ones not to have written or kept a biography of the conditions they worked under. Their prides would not allow it ,so instead they wrote about their work and how quickly they wanted to get it done. Their dance was said to be functional and recreational and was done to relieve stress, everything had a purpose, a reason a meaning…survival…. In 1873 it is recorded that the first dance was held by a slave named Mary Ann Reid.  Ms. Reid did pretty much what we still do today, she cooked yams, plantains, served rum and collected a small fee. Fiddlers played and slaves danced until day-break. Christmas and  Easter welcomed the biggest dances, pretty much the same way things are done in Jamaica today.

–http://www.caribbeanstudies.org.uk/papers/2000/olv1p3.pdf

But , our music, where has it come since slavery? Let’s go back to Ska, and what it represented.

                                Prince Buster Lyrics

wash wash
wash all my troubles away oh yeah
wash wash
wash all my troubles away oh yeah

show me that river
take me across
and wash all my troubles away
life ain’t lucky oh son
give me nothing to do
but roll around heaven all day!

wash wash
wash all my troubles away oh yeah
wash wash
wash all my troubles away oh yeah

hustle for my woman
both of my kids
man I sweat till I’m wrinkled and gray
life ain’t lucky oh son
give me nothing to do
but roll around heaven all day!

so watch out sinners!

wash wash
wash all my troubles away oh yeah
wash wash
wash all my troubles away oh yeah

Prince Buster Lyrics

Our music evolved, to where, it was now possible to sing about our troubles instead of how hard we had to work but represented a hurdle we had to cross and we did this through our music. Here ‘Prince Buster wanted work, to take care of his family and describes  having nothing to do as ‘rolling around heaven’’. Yet he didn’t want this easy life, he wanted a hustle that would take care of his woman and children.

http://www.caribbeanstudies.org.uk/papers/2000/olv1p3.pdf

Music was life,  our life, this is what we came from and how we survived the toughest of conditions. So how did we get to

Everyting wah mi do dem ah follow
If mi nuh shit dem nah swallaw

Yo! Ah wah do some Dj Boi(Girl)
Just Live pon di artiste name
An di artiste nuh remember dem
A wah happen to uno, uno do uno own ting

Yo Shawn, Mi sing bout Clarks,
Dem ah sing bout Crep, Dem ah sing bout Kickers
Mi sing bout Straight Jeans & White Tees
Dem ah sing bout Slippers
If mi sing bout head dem ah sing bout flitta
Mi sing bout comb dem ah sing bout scissors
And sing bout plait up & shades & Addi-das

Dem whole ah dem ah watch di Teach
Ah wonder if mi tongue bore an wonder if mi bleach
Call up mi name just fi get a forward
Ya nah see di whole ah dem ah parasite dem a leech
Dem tink bout Addi more than dem Woman
Dem a fish inna di sea, Gaza deh pon di beach
Call up mi name just fi get a forward
Ya nah see di whole ah dem ah parasite dem a leech

Yo!
If mi nah shit dem cyaan nyam
Every style wah mi mek dem waan one
Mi ah di Dancehall Pellet, the Jordan, The Tall Man, The Smart One, The Last Dan.
Teacha, Everyting mi do dem follow
If me nuh shit some bwoy cyaan swallow
Some tek Auh,
Some tek mi Awoah,
Some tek mi Heh Heh
And Mi he he
And Mi ha ha
Mi nuh memba nuh Dj bwoy wah siddung pon mi name like back pocket rag.
Mi seh Cake Soap an a sing bout Fab
Vybz Kartel ah mek di whole ah dem a Mad
Ah mi mash up dem double standard
Mi sing bout Go Go and Freaky Gal
All of ah sudden everybody get brave
And a put it inna song seh dem waan blow job

Di whole ah dem ah watch di Teach
Ah wonder if mi tongue bore an wonder if mi bleach
Call up mi name just fi get a forward
Ya nah see di whole ah dem ah parasite dem a leech
Dem tink bout Addi more than dem Woman
Dem a fish inna di sea, Gaza deh pon di beach
Call up mi name just fi get a forward
Ya nah see di whole ah dem ah parasite dem a leech

And the answer is the time we stopped being ourselves.

Reggae music, derived from Ska, that derived from music that was derived from the songs of slaves, songs that depicted real lives of the individuals who wrote the songs. Even Kartel himself realized the trend, but didn’t realize the trend was not about him. It is about Jamaican artists/Jamaicans not wanting to write about themselves anymore, the lives of others glittered more. America was bigger, they wore fancier clothes, have a lot more food, their accents sounded much better, they were much slimmer and hair much longer it has become a fixation. All unimportant and inconsequential to what we really are and where we came from. The music went from our lives to women competing for men,  men rejecting homosexuals, so much so it has become another fixation  and also musicians competing with similar sounding music.

Stupid is what Stupid does

Reggae was grown and cultivated on our shores, the rhythm , the sounds, the words , came from us. Cultivated from slaves who preferred to sing about their hurdles and not their hurt. It was the sounds and the words that  relieved their stress. Our music.

      During the eighties, we had an influx of tourists coming in to see Reggae Sunsplash , after admiring Bob Marley , our only Legend’s music. European , and Americans were hypnotized by the beat and how  easily it became a part of them. They were hungry, for the raw, rich culture that came from the songs and were hypnotized by rhythm ,others hardly knowing exactly why the sound , sounded so familiar , was the sound of slavery so enticing? .No song was sung about the next musician,  no songs with women depicted disrespectfully, just songs about our ever so rich culture. Intoxicating music that sometimes people sang without knowing the meaning and impact, yet,stupidly doing what the song suggested.

In the late eighties to early nineties our music took a turn and sang a part of our culture that we were not proud about, hardly spoke about. The music spoke about ‘’Maties’’ in a fashionable way, an enticing way and what we could also call , a daring way. It made people who were not ‘’Maties’’ want to try it, men who had never boldly cheated dared it. And it was accepted. A little further down our culture scope, songs were written about our shameful prejudices of racism and classism. The word ‘’Browning’’ was introduced into the music by Buju Banton, which  has now spilled over in our culture by way of bleaching. Many  women now are  proud of desiring a lighter hue. Stupid is what Stupid does. Music began to surpass life, these were issues not ingrained in us to sing about. It was not in our D.N.A , to sing about things we would rather suppress. Hell Broke loose and stupid became….

Cable the Bible

Americans started sampling our rhythms and applying their sounds, after all, we all came from slaves who dance to the same rhythms but sang different songs. They sang about sexy women, wanting sex, big butts and of course their audience was large, America is much bigger landmass and population. The effect was huge. Money started rolling in from this different sounding music, all sampled from Reggae. Being natural born leaders, Jamaican musicians automatically focused on this new money making machine. Many Jamaicans now boast of being able to rap, automatically donned an American accent. Thinking  that this would make them superior. Shabba Ranks gave up the linen pants for ‘’dodo pants’’ , huge rope looking chains and a ‘’Kid n Play’’ hair-cut. Jamaican women gave up their braids for weaves , lots of gel and bicycle shorts. It was all about what was on cable, not knowing that some of the clothes were not worn on the street but cable was  the bible. Every ebonics slang thrown into the streets of America, recycled into the streets of Jamaica, at one point ‘’yo/yow’’ was added to every sentence in the Jamaican street, Punky Brewster’s socks were worn by adults, all this a part of the cable bible.

Lemons in exchange for TWANGS

When Americans ‘’Sampled’’ from us, we were never told until years passed, that it was us, their ‘’street’’ music came from. We are almost never credited for our influence on their music, and we are definitely not included in their news unless it murder. It is puzzling why the Jamaican media, despite internet and cable focusses on the now popular America music industry, built almost totally from ‘’Sampling’’ and  continue to give these stars shine as if they really know and are impacted by them..  Isn’t Reggae our lemon with which they used to make their  lemonade? Must we hold onto the rinds and not squeeze it to make our own juice?

Every Jamaican singer, sits and studies the next, wants to be like each other instead of focusing on what our music is.

-They are songs of the life of our people, made to uplift , and heal. It is music taken from our language where there lies no shame as slaves were never meant to speak the same , only mean the same. We are our brothers, our sisters our mothers and fathers, but were are individuals and differ we must, to shine.