Healing The Silent Hurt

Valerie Dixon, Contributor

I DO not think there is another country on this Earth that is as good as we are at sweeping issues under the carpet. We chat too much about petty things and chat too little about important things. Patsy and Sheila (their names have been changed to protect their identities) now want to expose their life stories because they feel they represent generations of women and children and, to a lesser degree, men, who have been hurt and are still hurting because they are still being treated like chattel and very few people seem to be disturbed by their plight.

Patsy’s biological father saw her talking to a boy in the district when she was 14 years old. He told her that since is man she want, him going to give it to har good and proper. The rape resulted in a pregnancy. She was further victimised when her father told the entire district that “she bruk out and turn bad and she have to leave him yard.”

Patsy said she sought help from relatives and others, but no one believed her story that she was raped and impregnated by her father. So, in her delicate condition, she was turned out of the home and her whole world was shattered and, even now, appears to be irreparable. Her child, who appeared normal for the first few years of his life, is now manifesting physical and mental challenges and she is unable to cope.

Sheila’s story

Sheila was told by her brother’s friend that her father wanted her to return from a ‘nine-night’ and he had been sent to escort her home. She trusted him and obeyed. On reaching a dark area, he wrestled her to the ground and raped her. She became pregnant at 14 years old. His mother raised the baby, but she was given visitation rights. Less than a year later, she went to visit the baby and she was raped again, and this resulted in another pregnancy. On both occasions, she told those close to her about the rape, but no one listened to her, instead she was flooded with guilt and shame. Her children know her story, but are conflicted as the rapist is their father.

The incidents were never reported because that would bring more shame and disgrace upon the upstanding family name. She is still waiting for justice. Both women are now gainfully employed, but still suffer emotionally.

For far too long, our women, children and men have been sexually abused and exploited; wounded in body and soul and many are powerless to heal themselves or deal with their trauma without intervention. Marie Sparkes has now made it her life’s purpose, through her intervention company, called Pure Potential, to help these women, children and men heal. Her company operates out of Mandeville and its objectives are to give victims a wider range of strategies, skills and knowledge to manage the issues of sexual abuse and exploitation.

With the assistance of professional social workers and other professionals, Sparkes has organised training workshops that cover areas such as:

Forensic evidence collection

Incest and incest conceptions

Terminations and child birth

Phenomenon of sexual abuse,

Language of sex

Sexuality in the therapy room

It is good to know that Pure Potential is there for all who need to be healed – victims and perpetrators. As a nation, we must admit that silence is no longer golden, when so many of our children, women and men need justice and assistance to recover from hurt and pain.

[email protected]

Marie Sparkes can be contacted at 476 1724 and p