SHARING ISNT CARING

Tinuade Asake Please, come back home
Dear Taiwo,
Should I say I have failed as a mother or is it the work of the devil or what would I say or on whose table would I lay my plight?

I hope and pray that either by chance or by luck, Tinu my first daughter, would get to read this; forgive me and come home.

I haven’t set my eyes on Tinu for over 1 1 years, since she stormed out of the house that fateful afternoon without giving me a reason. I only found out the reason for her action from her younger sister weeks after. And this was after I cajoled and begged her too.

I am a single mother of four girls. I had Tinu while I was at the College of Education. Debo, her father and I would have eventually got married, but instead of returning home to take me with him to Germany as he promised, his corpse was brought home. Tinu, was a seed of our love. He wanted to be sure I would wait for him when he travelled out of the country in search of greener pasture; that was why he impregnated me before leaving. We had our traditional engagement and introduction before he left. But his death put an end to the kind of future I looked forward to. Tinu would have had a wonderful future, but the ripple effect of her father’s death killed her paternal grandmother; Debo’s only surviving parent.

My mother, who was my own only surviving parent also tried her best to support Tinu and I, she too eventually died, two years after I got married to Austin; the father of my three other daughters who also died when my youngest daughter was only three months old.

Since then, I raised my children all by myself. Not because I didn’t have suitors, even men who would have married me with my brood, but I chose to be alone. I dated men once in a while, but I always avoided commitment.

I never knew, my daughter and I would date the same man. It was not intentional and I never for one day believed that my daughter would get to school and become one of the aristo girls.

It was after the incident which sent her away from home that I found out.

I met Gbolagade, a popular business tycoon from Offa, Kwara State, but based in Lagos at a friend’s party in Lagos. We both fancied each other and we started an affair. I didn’t make a habit of coming home with my male admirers, but at a level, Gbola, as I fondly called him and I became very close. I allowed him to visit me at home after I had dated him for over 13 months. He had wanted to meet my children and I allowed him to come when my children were all home from school. Tinuade was then schooling at a higher institution at Offa.

She was out when Gbola came. I was at the dining section of the living room when she came in and after she exchanged pleasanties with him, I heard her asked him, “why did you come here, who told you this is my house?”, Gbola, answered, “Are you sure? I came to see Diekola,” he replied. He mentioned my name.

“That’s my mum,” my daughter said and walked out. She didn’t come back to the house until my guest left. When I came back I asked after Tinu, but I was told by her siblings that she went out again. I tried asking Gbola why the question and answer, but he told me it wasn’t something I should worry myself about.

Tinuade, came back home later and asked who Gbola was and why he came. I told her and she wanted to know how long I had been dating him. I told her and she screamed at me that I couldn’t be serious. I asked her why, but she stormed out and never came back home. I looked for her everywhere for weeks, before her younger sister told me that she left because of my guest.

Gloria, her younger sister was the one who told me that Tinuade had been dating Gbola since her first year at the polytechnic, and he had been responsible for a lot of things she had done.

I was shocked. This is a girl I never allowed to suffer in any form. In my own way, I worked to make sure they were all comfortable. I sent them to the best schools.

I had a talk with Gbola and ended my relationship with him after I learnt of his relationship with my daughter. He apologised and sincerely, he said he never knew we were related. I never knew if he continued his relationship with Tinu after, but I learnt that she had a child for him.

I really do not know why my daughter had refused to come home or see me for 11 years. Her siblings tried but as soon as she gets to know that I am coming to see her, she would move again. I saw her briefly at Heathrow Airport three years ago. I was very sure she saw me, but before I could establish it was her, she disappeared.

I wouldn’t know why or how to make her come back. Somebody, please, help me and if by chance you are reading this Tinuade Asake, please, come back home.

D Olu, Lagos.