SOME MADDA AH NUH MADA

I have searched all over the web for this situation and I have yet to find anything that remotely correlates. I lost my job a few months ago and I moved in with my eldest daughter and family. I will admit right here and now that I have always had a crush on her husband and have secretly lusted after him.

I have been divorced for over 15 years and have had very few male companions in my life since then.

When I moved in I took on a motherly type roll in the household and catered to everyone’s needs. My grandchildren, but especially my son in law.

I lusted for sex at the sight of him, I seduced him and I entrapped him. One day he was swimming his laps in the pool and I came out in a 2 piece bikini that I purposely selected. I entered the pool and interrupted his morning routine.

It was from that moment forward that I made my sexuality known to him and gave myself to him. A few weeks later we had intercourse for the first time, unprotected with primal lust and passion. He filled a void that I had been missing for over 15 years. I felt 25 years old again and gave no thoughts to my daughter or my two grandchildren.

I was not the best mother to begin with; I was pregnant initially at 16 and again at 19. I was taught that sex was the key to keeping your man happy, which was wrong. By age 26 I was divorced, alone and competing with my ex-husband who had again married a young bimbo who was now raising my kids. I experimented with drugs and was very much strung out for 8 years or so until I found God.

The power I held over my son in law was intoxicating. I was in love with him, we had sex in the pool, in the early hours of the morning trying not to wake anyone and even in his own bed. At first I was careful and took my pill, but I lapsed on my prescription and missed my period. I have not told him about this, I haven’t told anyone. I want to abort this baby but I cannot bring myself to this. I cannot bring myself to admitting the truth to anyone. I wish I were dead, I wish I had never had these feelings and pushed this issue. I am pregnant and alone with my daughter’s brother or sister inside of me.

Mexi