Living by the Spirit

by Ian Drucker

Most of my life I have felt the presence of a battle being fought within the deepest portion of my soul. It started when I was thirteen, as a result of my cousin sharing his dad’s stash of Playboy magazines with me.

The sinful desires of my flesh screamed out to be satisfied every day afterwards for more than 30 years. That’s how long I was addicted to pornography, and continuously lusted for beautiful women. I know that many people may argue that magazines like Playboy and Penthouse aren’t porn, but I would strongly disagree. Let’s get real! Although these magazines may not show people engaging in sexual acts, the women they show and the way they are shown definitely causes sexual arousal. So, you may be asking, “Does that mean that the Victoria’s Secret and similar types of catalogs are porn?” To me, the answer is YES! I say that because I was addicted to them as well. I couldn’t wait until I could get my hands on the next Victoria’s Secret catalog. I am really saddened because I know first hand the damage that our society is causing to an entire generation of boys, that will eventually grow up (physically at least) to be men. This, however, is the subject of another column.

In the initial stages of my addiction the act of satisfying the desires of my flesh was followed by guilt, shame and sadness. This feeling would subside in time; and the desire would build up until I satisfied it again. This cycle would repeat itself over and over. With each cycle the feelings of guilt, shame and sadness diminished. Eventually, as I continued to feed it, my addiction grew to the point that these feelings were squelched, so much so, that they almost completely disappeared. The feelings of shame and guilt were replaced by a feeling of permissiveness. While in my twenties, visiting strip clubs (gentlemen clubs, etc.) became an integral part of my life. It got to the point that I actually considered it to be healthy red-blooded American male behavior, as I had adopted a worldly view of most things. I would visit them a few times a week. I looked forward to the outings, and it was the anticipation of the excitement to come that gave me the drive, strength and energy to make it through the week.

I would talk openly about going to strip clubs after work with my co-workers. Beyond and worse than that, I would go around the office and try to talk people into going on each outing with me and others (which didn’t include only men by the way). I had grown to really enjoy going to these clubs, and I became very disappointed whenever I could not visit one; when and where I wanted. I have to admit that saying I really enjoyed these outings is a bit of an understatement. The truth is that I grew to crave them. It is sad, but true, that these outings became addictive. I found myself scheduling my work day and developing work habits that would ensure my flexibility to leave the office at specific times, based on the women that I knew would be dancing on a specific day. Anyone in this situation knows exactly what I’m talking about. It gets to the point that you know the schedules of your favorite dancers. Eventually, their schedule becomes your schedule.

Galatians 5:16-17 indicates, “So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.”

I have always believed that God exists, and that He loves me. I am confident that even before I became a Christian, the Holy Spirit was trying to convict me of my sinfulness. I believe that it was the Holy Spirit that encouraged me and worked within me to create the feelings of shame and sadness. The Holy Spirit was trying to convince me that my thoughts and actions were sinful.

I became a baptized believer in and follower of Jesus Christ in 1993. I came to Christ with a tremendous amount of baggage which included an addiction to porn. I was also the product of a broken home, I was sexually abused and I had one failed marriage. Need I say more? I thank God every day, that He accepts us as we are, baggage included. I am so thankful for Jesus because I know that I am the exact type of person that He came to earth to save.

Since my baptism, the Holy Spirit has really been at work on and within me. The Holy Spirit has been in conflict with my sinful nature. It is this very real Spiritual War that has created the battleground atmosphere within my innermost being.

I know that I can’t undo the past, or right all of the wrongs that I have committed. I wish that I could. However, I know that I must face each day with the renewed mind and heart that I have as a new creation in Christ. While God accepts us where we are, I am convinced that He doesn’t want us to stay that way. I am a firm believer that our old sinful nature must die, and that we must learn to live by the Spirit. For me that was quite a challenge and it took quite a few years. The point is that we don’t have a choice; it is something that we are told to do. It is a journey, and each person’s walk with the LORD in this regard is going to be very different.

People often ask me if I’m still tempted, now that God has delivered me from my addiction. The answer is, yes! Of course I am, and quite frequently. The difference, however, is that I now know that I must fight off and fight through the temptation, rather than give in to i

By Din Duggan

SO I went to bed Sunday night to ‘news’ that former Miss Jamaica World and Universe Yendi Phillipps is expecting a child with dancehall artiste Daniel ‘Chino’ McGregor – son of reggae legend Freddie McGregor.

I’m not one to follow or discuss celebrity or pseudo-celebrity news as there are far more important things happening in the world (like the upcoming Manchester Derby between Manchester United and Manchester City). But this story caught my attention not merely because it was all over my social-media feeds and this newspaper’s website, no, this one captured my attention for the far-reaching impact of the young lady’s actions.

I was deeply disappointed, saddened, upset, and livid even at Yendi Phillipps’ decision to have a child. I am still inconsolable. Shame on Ms Phillipps.

No, I’m not saddling up my moral high horse, like some of you have done, or mounting my wobbly soapbox of hypocrisy. My outrage has nothing to do with role models or examples for young girls. After all, this phenomenon is nothing new in our morally ruptured society. Nearly 80 per cent of children born in Jamaica are out of wedlock and, at least, half of households are headed by a single female. So if you weren’t outraged by the breakdown of the institution of marriage last week then you surely shouldn’t be outraged about it today.

My exasperation is strictly personal. Yendi ruined my future plans. She has altered the trajectory of my entire life. You see, although she didn’t know it, I was supposed to marry her. But as reggae artiste Jah Mason sombrely declared a few years back: “my princess (or ,in this case, my beauty queen) gone far, far away”.

Master plan

Sure, the 2010 Miss Universe runner-up doesn’t have the least idea who I am. But that would have certainly changed – in fact, that’s what my column is secretly all about. Yes, I’ve written passionately about social justice. I’ve waxed poetic about breaking down barriers to equality. I’ve laid out my solutions for crime and violence and given my prescriptions for economic development. But that was all part of a master plan to capture Yendi’s heart. I was simply awaiting that one note from her: “Good column, Din”, after which I would have skilfully made my move, promptly resigned from this post, and lived happily ever after in a seaside cottage in Portland with my Miss Jamaica.

But, alas, it was not meant to be. I suppose I wasn’t born a winner. My big ship didn’t sail to her ocean. I’m just going to have to be lonely. Because when push came to shove ‘Chino’ McGregor reached her destination before me.

Really though, I wish the soon-to-be parents and their soon-to-be newborn God’s richest blessings, His guidance and His protection.

Our business

Now that I have your undivided attention (and 200 more words to burn) I’ll add this: mind your own business. Yendi Phillipps’ baby has nothing to do with you. The Phillips you should be concerned about has just embarked on a mission to conceive our very own little bundle of sorrow.

Finance Minister Dr Peter Phillips recently left the island, bound for New York, Boston, and London, ostensibly to drum up support in the global capital markets to sell a bit more of your future – creating more debt for Jamaicans. Now that’s your business.

But don’t blame Dr Phillips. Our stand-by agreement with the International Monetary Fund (IMF) stalled last May (under the previous administration). As a result, we have been denied much-needed funds, including US$220 million due from the Inter-American Development Bank. Dr Phillips’ options are few. Our economy has stagnated for decades; it is unlikely we will suddenly grow our way out of our current predicament. Unfortunately, more debt is perhaps the only way to finance our budget in the short term and convene a new agreement with the IMF for the medium term – one that will require severe belt tightening, drastically impacting Jamaica’s social fabric.

For far too long we’ve been concerned with celebrity developments rather than economic development. We’ve been trying to live like the Kennedys and Kardashians without producing or innovating. We’ve been partying on borrowed time and money. And now we are alarmingly short on both. Our hangover is here. Dr Phillips will soon be delivering the medicine. And it won’t be sweet. We all played our part in breeding this beast. Now we’ll all have to get through sleepless nights and stressful days together.

It’s not just Yendi, Chino, and child who will require God’s guidance and protection.

Din Duggan is an attorney working as a consultant with a global legal search firm. Email him at [email protected] or [email protected] or view his past columns at facebook.com/dinduggan and twitter.com/YoungDuggan

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LASTNIGHT KIDD KURRUPT AKA UNCLE MUCKS DEH PAN TWITTER PAN ONE PIECE A TONGUE LASHING..APARENTLY HIM GIRLFRIEND WHEY DOE EVEN REACH 19 YET ..CLAIM SHE INA DI MUSIC BUSINESS AND GO RUN PIECE PAN A PRODUCER…AND HIM FIND OUT…SUH UNCLE MUCKS WAS IN A PICKLE OF MUCKS LASTNIGHT WAA DASH OUT PICHO AND ALL…MUCKY DI PEOPLE DEM SEH DIS GIRL IS 17/18 AND FI YUH HAIR A RECEDE FROM DI YOUTHFUL LINE SO MI WUDDA LIKE FI KNOW IF YUH DID EXPECT A LIKKLE GYAL LIKE DIS FI FAITHFUL? DI LIKKLE GIRL NOW A BAWL OUT BOUT EVERY OOMAN CHEAT *hold up hefah..u aint no woman yet* : nerd ..BUT IF YUH NUH REACH 19 YET AND BIG MAN A BAWL OUT BOUT DASH OUT PIX..WHA A GO HAPPEN WHEN YUH REACH ALL 21?

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Well di sender se dis is connie sister and she was/is ina tings wid mavado but nuttin nah gwaan fi har rite now but as ujal a doe believe because dere was Trish so mi nuh know which part dis one play but gwaan chru mavado gully singular