EYECANDY BUT IT IS ADULTERY – GOODMORNING

by Ian Drucker

A critical issue that I struggled with in my spiritual battle regarding my addiction, even after I became a Christian, was rationalizing my behavior. I actually had the audacity to try and convince my wife that viewing porn on the internet was not a sin (adultery).

Furthermore, I had the nerve to try and convince her that my viewing porn would actually enhance our relationship. I really believed that my viewing porn would increase the level of physical intimacy between us.

She, of course, took exception to this. She indicated that the last thing she wanted, if she knew that I was indulging my sinful cravings, was to be intimate with me. She felt that my sexual drive and desire was inspired by my lust for other women, not by her. I, of course, argued against this. Our totally opposing viewpoints caused many lengthy and loud discussions pertaining to what were, and were not, acceptable behaviors by a husband in a “Marriage Covenant.”

I praise and thank God for giving me a patient wife. I believe, from a Biblical perspective, that she would have been on solid ground if she wanted to divorce me. It took some time, but after a great amount of prayer and studying of the Word; the Holy Spirit convicted me of my sinful thoughts and actions. I believe the most significant passage of scripture that helped me, which my wife pointed out, is from the Gospel of Matthew. In it Jesus addresses the subject of adultery.

Jesus said; “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery’. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell” (Matthew 5:27-30).
Well, by the grace of God, I was not too far deluded at this point. I would be a liar if I tried to say that I was not lusting for the women that I was viewing on the screen before me. I agreed that committing adultery was a sin. I acknowledged that I was, according to Jesus, committing adultery. My previous thoughts were absurd. I also understand, from my experience and from my study on spiritual warfare, that the ability to significantly influence (not control) this type of twisted thinking is one of the best weapons that Satan has in his arsenal. That is why Jesus takes the position on this issue that He does. Jesus knows the power of this sin, and he understands the affect that it has on us. He is indicating that victory over this sin requires a radical change; and that we must be willing to make whatever change is necessary to prevent us from committing the sin.

It is so obvious to me now why it took so many years in order for me to master this sin. Most of the time I was dealing with it, I was not a Christian. I lived the majority of my life (33 years) on my own, without Christ as my Lord and Savior. Drawing from my own abilities during this time, without the power of the Holy Spirit, left me totally defenseless against an enemy (Satan) that I failed to acknowledge even existed.

After I became a Christian, it took more time for me to be completely free from my addiction to porn. Sure, there were periods of being clean; but they were followed by periods of indulgence. I chose to keep enjoying the pleasure of the sin. I ignored the pain that I was causing God and my wife every time I committed the sin. It took time for me to learn how to lay my will down, and to be led by the Holy Spirit. It took time for me to despise the sin, to the point that I no longer wanted anything to do with it. I know that it is only because I cried out to God with a sincere heart, asking for deliverance from this sin that I received it. I now choose and I am able, by the power of the Holy Spirit, to deny my sinful desires one day at a time. I choose to please God and my wife. That’s the bottom line.

The choice is ours! We can either glorify God in our thoughts, words and actions; or we can please the enemy. What do you want to do? This issue and the dynamics that were put into play both before and after my deliverance provide an abundance of material for me to share with others. It is my intent, in accordance with God’s will, to share what I have learned and experienced in hope that I may be able to help others avoid causing damage to relationships that they value. I will be sharing this information with you as I continue to write for this publication.

-Ian Drucker