AND THE DISCUSSION GOES ON

I grew up in Africa in a country where white and biracial people tended to mingle with each other. We all learn at school how strong black women and men worked together to fight against colonialism. I was raised and told that a good man would always go the extra mile to pursue a woman he loved and our men knew that it was valiant to do such things. I learnt at school that in certain cultures and villages, there were rites where men undergo ordeals to prove they’re worth the woman they want. On the other side, mothers make sure that their daughters also go through some rites in which they learn to endure pain because life is no fun 24/7. Who would like anyway to marry a woman who will fall apart at the first sight of trouble in paradise? Even Lois Lane is no fragile flower and Superman doesn’t seem to complain about it.I grew up with this idea of black women having to be strong, assertive, resilient for themselves, their husbands, their families and there was nothing wrong about it. Our men knew it and were looking for that.

Nowadays, I don’t know if this is the influence of western medias always whining about independent women castrating men, our men claim that we are mean, too argumentative, too aggressive.

As far as I am concerned, I left Africa when I was 17 and have been living for 15 years outside my home country. I’ve experienced so many hardships in my life and I am proud of the strong person I’ve become. I am very well educated, well spoken and know where I am from, proud of my African values and proud of being as strong as all the women of my lineage. My black male friends think that I am too independent and that makes me a white chick so I’d only be happy with a white man. BS!!! As far as I am concerned, the way I see it is if a black man sees me a threat, well either his mom was too submissive to his dad; either he didn’t take a good look at his mom and how brave she has been. Black women are brave and it’s time that black men get it. I don’t care about the loud and brash women; they are not representative of all black women the same way the cheating brothers are not representing of all men. I am hellbent on finding a black man who is gonna understand that this assertiveness of mine is an asset for him and for our couple. No way I am gonna run away or make my man low because he lost his job, because he’s having doubts about something or because he’s ill. These are things that as a black woman I’ve already experienced alone and overcome by myself. There was a reason for that: to be a rock for somebody else who is going through the same s**t and if that’s someone is my significant other, Alleluia!!! On the other side, I expect a certain strength of character from my man and I want if from a brother because I know his would come from experiences that other men from other “races” didn’t have.

My 2 cents

Black men date white women for the same reason so many black men prefer black women who have light skin, eyes, and long silky hair. They perceive that white women are more beautiful, more feminine or lady like and more kind and compliant than black women. This is the truth.

When you think about it, this makes perfect sense. Who are the women most depicted in the media, movies, porno, etc. and put forth as the “hotties.” Is it more often asian, Hispanic or native American women? Very, very few. What you do see is thin blonde, blue-eyed women sometimes with fake attributes on their chest.

The white, blonde blue eyed woman is the Bentley of females as far as the media is concerned. If she had her dithers, many white woman would have blonde hair and blue eyes, be skinny with big boobs. This is what their men want, and it’s what a lot of black men want as well.

However, black men aren’t as fixated on blonde hair as they are on long silky hair and light skin. This is why black women wear hair weaves and relax their hair. Their men prefer women with long, straight hair. If yours is naturally long and straight and your skin is very bright, even better.

So, the stories about black women and their nasty attitudes is an excuse for black men who don’t want to reveal their true physical preferences lest they be called out for their self-hatred. If you can’t stand afro textured hair and darker features, you can’t stand yourself. End of story. If you admit as much you have to face up to this unpleasant fact.
It’s easier to say that black girls are horrible people than it is to flat out say you think they are ugly and by extension you really find yourself ugly.