A WIFE’S TESTIMONY

My name is Crystal and I’m here to let you know that with man it may seem impossible……but with Almighty God…..NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE…
I made a promise to God and to myself that WHEN he restored my marriage, I would testify and tell the world….I would share EVERY single detail no matter how shameful and embarrassing it would be, in the hope and knowledge that I would someday be able to bring some kind of hope for a hurting wife or husband who would’ve been going through what I once was.
I’ll try to be as brief as possible but I really don’t want to leave any detail out….no matter how small, because it may be the very thing God wants to use to inspire and encourage a stander or prodigal spouse.
I don’t want to apportion blame too much here but suffice it to say we had some in-law issues which contributed greatly to our demise….but that is another story and I want to concentrate on how God showed up and showed off in the mist of my situation. Today is March 16th 2011…. My husband of 1 year and 5 months left me on November 30th, 2010… .BUT…. all thanks and all praise be to Almighty God, he is now back home and we are rebuilding a marriage that from all counts and to the naked eye in the natural realm was dead.
As far as I could see we were the perfect couple……went out together…….stayed home together……laughed, joked……..we were like two peas in a pod……of course we had our regular marital problems….no marriage is perfect……..in addition to the above we also….. argued and sometimes told each other some harsh words…….LIKE EVERY OTHER COUPLE……it isn’t right but it happens…..
In spite of all this , I believed he loved me just as much as I loved him……you could imagine my surprise and heart break when one day after a short disagreement……and I mean short….lasting no more that a few minutes…..my beloved husband packed his clothes and walked out of my life…….
All this happened on Nov 30th 2010…..I held off from calling him because I was still upset and I figured I didn’t do him any harm…..he was the one that stepped out in our marriage and on our marriage…..ours wasn’t a physical stepping as in outside sex….it was an on-going 5 month relationship on the internet, with someone he had been previously involved with.
The days went by and he didn’t call so on December 5th 2010….I called him…..he refused to take my calls so I texted him only to be told that he wasn’t interested in me and I should go on with my life….that I should never call or text him again……..that was like a dagger through my heart……I felt as though someone had literally ran a knife straight through my stomach and was twisting it repeatedly…..but that isn’t the worse yet…..
I persisted in calling him that same day and eventually he picked up the phone…he was as cold as ice……I felt frightened even listening to him……he told me….I NEVER LOVED YOU……I AM SORRY WE GOT MARRIED…..I FELT TRAPPED IN THIS MARRIAGE…..I DON’T LOVE YOU LIKE A MAN SHOULD LOVE A WOMAN…..THE FEELINGS I HAVE FOR YOU IS THAT OF A “GOOD” FRIEND……I DON’T WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND YOU SHOULD GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE…..I’M
NOT COMING BACK…….
I have never felt pain like I did then in my entire life……..it is amazing when you are down on luck how quickly you remember that GOD does exists.
I was a regular church goer and I tithed but I still didn’t have that personal relationship with God…..well God has a way of getting our attention in ways unimaginable….and he got mine.
I cried DAILY AND HOURLY……I felt all hope was gone….I mean how do you get someone to love you again when that person is saying I never loved you at all…..YOU CANT….BUT GOD CAN……
I had built my life around my husband and now he was gone……I felt like I lost the better part of me…..I couldn’t eat….I couldn’t eat ….I didn’t want to socialize and I forced myself to go to work…..but God had a plan…….even though all seemed lost……God was turning my situation around even as I was hurting…..what the devil meant for evil God was turning around for good.
I enlisted the help of three persons…….a Prophetess, an Apostle, and a church Pastor…..these were all spiritual people I knew……and strong men and women of God……I knew I wasn’t strong in my spirit and my faith was way less than even that of a mustard seed.
I still cried every day but I also engaged in some radical and spiritual warfare for my husband…..I spoke the word of God over my marriage EVERYDAY and I prayed hedges of thorns around my husband EVERYDAY…..I pleaded the blood of Jesus over him and claimed my marriage in the name of Jesus.
Remember I wasn’t rooted in God so my prayers wasn’t as flowing as other people but everyday I gain more and more strength and my faith began to soar…..I prayed that God would soften my husband’s heart and remind him of the love we once shared……I asked God to send Godly people in his life to speak to him even when I couldn’t and God heard me….
I think I either bought or borrowed every book on marriage…warfare….prayer…you name it ….every website I could think of…….. And I just wrapped my husband up and prayed what ever pray I could even verbatim from some of those same books…….I became like a one man army…..
At times the devil whispered in my ears and unbelief and doubt settled in….I would call my prayer warriors for encouragement and go to God crying and in a few hours would be right as rain and ready again to go up against the gates of hell for my boo. To make a long story short……Sunday January 16th 2011….I got a text from my husband….who accidently had AGAIN on the 14th January 2011…..told me he felt the same way and I should go on with my life.
He said he wanted to talk and wanted to know if he could come by the house…he wanted to know if I could forgive him for what he did and for us to try again at our
marriage…
I had released my husband and my marriage to God and I knew God was going to do something…. but I thought it would be perhaps a Hi hello…how are you….or perhaps a few weeks down the line he might drop in a call or something……….I had no idea that MY GOD was bringing my husband home that day….that instant…
He told me that after he spoke to me on Thursday….he went to God himself and talked to him and asked him to speak and show him what he should do……..he said from the time he said that everything just went crazy…..everything he saw reminded him of me….. when he went to sleep his dreams were constant replays of our life together….. he started thinking about stuff that happened before and after our marriage that were nothing short of miraculous…..
In short…..God was speaking to him all along but he was too proud to just walk back and admit that he was wrong but he wanted to so much….. He wanted to give our marriage a chance and he loved me and wanted to be with ME.
I give all the thanks and praise to God for what he did……it doesn’t matter what your situation looks like….it doesn’t matter how impossible and dead it seems……it doesn’t matter what your husband or wife is planning……..we plan but God is also planning and he works EVERYTHING out together for those that love the LORD..
DO NOT GIVE UP….THE DEVIL AND EVEN YOUR OWN MIND IS GOING TO TRY TO TELL YOU TO MOVE ON…LEAVE HIM/HER ALONE…HE/SHE DOESN’T WANT YOU…..THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO…..THERE IS NO ONE THAT CAN HELP YOU NOW…..DO NOT LISTEN……even in your tears….cry out to God….when you don’t know what to say…..just say JESUS….nothing more……tears is a language God understands and he is going to work it out…..
This isn’t every single detail of what happened there are parts missing…but my short journey has been nothing but incredible and miraculous…but I want you to know that with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE…
Be encouraged