THE 37 MOST SHOCKING MOMENTS IN DANCEHALL

37. While on MTV Cribs, Shaggy proudly displays photograph taken with Gianni Versace.

36. Sizzla sings hook on Foxy Brown cunnilingus song.

35. Beenie Man sets the image of Jamaica’s education system back 50 years when he repeatedly mispronounces Compton as “Contam” on a collaboration with Guerilla Black.

34. Scare Dem Crew remakes Usher’s My Way as Dainty and shoots music video which features Elephant Man in a crib getting his pampers changed while singing about how dainty he is.

33. Vybz Kartel wears pink tights to Miami’s ReggaeFest.

32. Lexxus is discovered to indulge in cunnilingus.

31. Spragga Benz samples Foxy Brown’s ill na-na and proclaims that it tastes like rum punch, then becomes Rastafarian and stops drinking rum.

30. Frankie Paul is caught fondling an acquaintance’s 12 year old son.

29. Frankie Paul ‘recieves’ Shandy bottles at Sting.

28. Ninja Man becomes an informer and turns over handgun to ‘Babylon’ Reneto Adams at Sting.

27. Ninja Man converts to Christianity, renames himself Brother Desmond, then backslides two months later and is caught sniffing coke.

26. Ninja Man steals Michael Jackson’s style and wears a horsehair weave onstage.

25. Merciless steals style, ‘rapes’ woman who thought he was Bounty Killer and tried to leave his room when she found out he wasn’t.

24. Zebra steals style, has two hits, and is sent to prison and introduced to Kid Ralph after ‘raping’ woman who thought he was Tiger and tried to leave his room when she found out he wasn’t.

23. Jah Cure steals Yami Bolo’s style, has no hits, is sent to prison for ‘raping’ woman and becomes a reggae superstar.

22. Bounty Killer, like a b*tch, runs from gunshots during stage show.

21. Elephant Man is robbed in London.

20. Elephant Man becomes the first and only male artist in dancehall history to lose a clash with a female deejay when Spice murders him onstage at Sting.

19. King Jammys b*tch-slaps Zumjay in studio during recording session.

18. Snoop Dogg b*tch-slaps Super Cat backstage at a Kris Kross performance.

17. Capleton’s Bobo entourage b*tch-slaps Beenie Man at airport.

16. Ninja Man steals Bobby Brown’s style, beats up girlfriend and is arrested for being a lady badman.

15. Ninja Man once again steals Michael Jackson’s style, throws baby through window and is arrested for being a baby badman.

14. Vybz Kartel manhandles Ninja Man and proceeds to give a Timberland-sponsored charity walkathon for the rehabilitation of cokeheads on his face.

13. Elephant Man appears on BET’s 106 & Park for the first time and sets Jamaica back 100 years.

12. Elephant Man, in an effort to quell HIV+ rumours at a live stage show, asks audience if he “look like smaddy whe have AIDS to yu?”… crowd replies with a resounding “YES!!!”

11. Shabba Ranks says he’s anti-gay live on BBC and his career is subsequently sabotaged by GLAAD.

10. Buju Banton is forced to apologize to GLAAD for anti-gaylyrics.

9. Buju Banton beats up two homosexuals.

8. Beenie Man apologizes to OutRAGE! for anti-gaylyrics

7. Beenie Man apologizes to Jamaican public for apologizing to OutRAGE! for anti-gay lyrics

6. Beenie Man apologizes to OutRAGE! for apologizing to Jamaican public for apologizing to OutRAGE! for anti-gay lyrics

5. Beenie Man apologizes to Jamaican public for apologizing to OutRAGE! for apologizing to Jamaican public for apologizing to OutRAGE! for anti-gay lyrics.

4. Beenie Man appears on BBC and claims ‘battyman’ is Jamaican slang for child molester.

3. Beenie Man is booed out of Jamaica’s National Stadium after singing Hey Green Arm Ova Deh So in front of Nelson Mandela during his presidential visit.

2. Bounty Killer shoots music video with naked man.

1. Beenie Man appears on a talk show moderated by Ru-Paul and greets his host with a hug and kiss.

…. feel free to add any that were left out.