SO SORRY..

Just reading this makes me cry so much. Met i cant even trust the shoe i wear becuz i feel it will lead me to a wrong place. I have sacrificed myself for every single soul. I am workin good money, but i have nuthn becuz i easily feel sorry for everybody else but myself. I stay without food to help people out and one by one they stab me in the back. I am so hurt till all i want to do is hug my mom and cry. She isnt near me now so all i have is my Bible and God pulling me through each day. I ask God to help me to understand that i need to take care of myself and then others. I do not have a child so there isnt anyone before me than him, but im just not gettn it. Then im confused becuz when i see ppl in their issues i wonder if God wud be happy that i said no.

Met i am not perfect and neither am i any deep christian but i believe in God and his existence. I try to live the way i kno he wud. Believe me if i have anyone who did me wrong and they fall into a really bad situation i still go ahead and help becuz he said i shud forgive. I take time to think about ppls feelings becuz i am afraid of what God will do to me if i hurt somebody or take advantage of them. And yet, my desires arent coming to me. I do have the patience, but i feel so lost and hopeless. Im crying so much right now

Everybody has gone thru their heartbreak. I did six yrs ago but i was able to go in and out of relations/ relationships since then. During that time, by onean I have been abused, black eyed constantly, infections, wounds to body, locked in rooms, knife to my neck and the blades actually leave a scratch on me… You name it. Burned with a cigarette in my face, embarrased infront of a whole lot of ppl. But i was able to get out of it. And i thank God

After that i decided to take a different approach to this thing. And i liked someone a whole lot. I waited on sumthn that wasnt gonna happen. And now i am so hurt becuz he jus got up and walked away becuz i guess there wuz someone else who he wanted to give his attn to. I have been there for him becuz i considered him my best friend more than anything else and he hurt me sooooo bad Met its been 4 minths since i last heard a word from him and i cry every single day. I have let it go. But my tears come becuz i have loving men riggt at my finger tips but i cant do it again. I cant be with anybody ever. I dont kno how to love someone again. I have given up on it. Im 25 so i have a long way to go but i just cant. People gettn close and i am ready to push them away caz i prefer to protect my heart than have someone kiss me or make love to me or take me out. Becuz i am afraid of them being a good man today and the worst tomorro. I am not someone who rush into things… Cuz i spent over two yrs gettn to understand him, but it still wuz nuthn.
I am not ready for kids yet becuz i still wanna be a free spirit. I am the “wash belly” for both parent so u kno they are awaitin the family… But its like i dont even wanna go there. I really wanted kids but now i dont jus becuz i dont even want to have to deal with a man to the extent where i have to call them to tell them their child is sick.

Never in my life have i ever imagined that i wud want to spend the rest of my life alone, becuz i realise i have to be away from ppl to be better.

And ita funny that when u need someone to talk to nobody is there for you, becuz it aint about money so they dont wanna hear. The funny thing is i got up this morning with the intentions of saying this to someone but never thought it wud be on JMG.

I have done alot to get over my pain and one of them is to come on this site and comment and watch wats up. Always guaranteed a good laugh. Contributed to me smiling when i wuz down. I still am but not that bad. I am getting better. But i jus dont kno if my heart will ever change the way it is right now.

* I am so sorry I didn’t respond to you yesterday, I saw your comment and truly forgot to respond. I will not do a topic like this on a day when I will be distracted into not responding again. You know sometimes men really put us in that place, the place where we give so much and get back almost nothing, I believe we as women have all been in this same place and I came to the conclusion that when we make men the center of our lives God always removes them, in the simplest way. It could be a breakup over nothing but they are moved. I can’t tell you to trust anyone but it will take time, never let anyone tell you when to be over the situation, take your time. Healing takes time. The good thing about this experience is that it will teach you  not to love as freely again, and we shouldn’t . We should not love anyone unconditional, we are not God. Our love has to have limitations and conditions. The reason is that we are all human, we change and make mistakes, our mistakes may cause others to hurt and someone’s change may cause your hurt. Men tend to lose interest when they feel that the ”chase” has ended. When they feel too secure. You will not be alone, you are just not healed enough to allow someone else in your life right now.   There are a few unselfish people out there, most people are in our lives for what they are able to get out of us, whether its our emotional, physical  or financial support. There is hardly anyone out there who will be there just to be there and that is why you have to really turn to God because at the end of it all he is the one who will lend a listening ear and if it it comes to the point where you need a physical ear he will ALWAYS send someone.  *

EYECANDY WE CAN SPEAK VIA EMAIL…