SHOULD SHE HOLD ON TO HER TRUE LOVE?

Dear Met,

I have an issue that I need some advice on however, I don’t have much friends or any trusted people that I can talk to. I need opinions from people on the outside looking in that don’t know me personally or the other party involved.

For the past 2 years I have been dating a married man. Initially, he did not tell me he was married when we met, in fact, I had to ask him 4 days after meeting. He told the truth that he was married and I decided to continue to see him. I never expected us to last 2 years. We fell in love with each other over those 2 years- we were not just “friends with benefits” or “f*ck buddies”… we were a legit couple (besides the fact he had a wife he lived with). I met his family who lives in another country (not even his wife has met them) so foolishly, I thought him and I would have a fairy tale ending.

Anyway, recently his wife found out about us and it was pure drama however he said he would not leave me and he does not want to leave me. I decided that we should just be friends… but, it was more like a “friends with benefits” relationship because he continues to sleep by me and to sleep with me.

Two weeks after I decided for us to be “friends”, I ended the relationship completely and I can tell I really hurt him. I love him but I have to love myself and I was not happy with being his “other woman” and I was not happy with being his “friend”. When we were discussing I wanted us to have a future together and I may even be pregnant (however, he does not know this). It hurts too much to be without him and it hurts too much to be with him but I would rather be single and lonely than with him and lonely (if that makes sense).

Basically, I just want opinions as to whether i did the right thing or not by ending this relationship. A part of me feels emancipated but a part of me just cannot see me without him, my heart literally hurts because I miss him already and he was in fact my first true love.