WHAT A DILEMMA — FOR DIANA

Dear Taiwo,
I am in a dilemma; I need to make a choice, but I can’t seem to make up my mind.

A scenario from my past keeps playing in my head and I can never get over that event that almost took my pride away, but for the Lord who saved me because He always saves His own.

My travails started when my father re-married five years after my mother’s demise. I was her only child; she died while having another baby.

Unfortunately, neither she nor the baby made it. I was 13 years old then. I missed my mother so much. My daddy didn’t want to re-marry; part of his reasons was that he didn’t want any woman to maltreat me. It was as if he was a prophet. He, however, gave in to pressure from family and friends to have another woman in his life five years after my mother’s death.

He married Aunty Mope, a woman I had known from his former office as a banker. He left the bank for another; it was at his former bank that I met Aunty Mope, a single mother of two girls and they married legally, so Aunty Mope and her children had to move in with us. Her first daughter, Sike is older than me, while the second is a year younger.

Initially, she was nice to me, but I really do not know what happened, or why she changed all of a sudden. And whenever she wanted to scold me, she would tell me that my father never saw anything wrong in whatever I did and that he always felt that I was the best and her children were the bad ones. She successfully transferred this impression to her daughters and they started treating me badly too.

I gained admission to the university before them and because of my dedication to God; they usually called me Mary, mother of Jesus.

The incident which almost destroyed my life happened during the long vacation that I was supposed to pass to 200 level at school. Aunty Mope and daddy travelled to England on vacation leaving the three of us at home. The girls attended parties and brought their male friends home. They disturbed me with music and noise and I dared not complain; they would call me terrible names . Invariably, I resorted to staying in my room whenever their visitors came calling. They also did not like this idea; so I didn’t know how to please them.

Whenever daddy called and asked how things were going on at home, I used to tell him the happenings. But on this particular day, Aunty Mope called, she did not ask to speak with me as she normally did and after speaking with their mother, her daughters went into their room and started talking about my daddy and I. They abused him and said he trusted me so much, and that he thought I was still a virgin which led them to a discussion as to if I was a virgin or not.

The eldest of the two said she would find out. It sounded funny to me because I wouldn’t know how she intended finding out if I was a virgin or not, I did not bother myself about what she said.

I, however, received the shock of my life when two days after, seven boys barged into my room at about past midnight and almost raped me. When they came in; I thought they were thieves, I offered all the money and other valuables I had on me, but they refused to take it.

One of them now said “Virgin Mary common, undress, let us see what you kept there. Today, you will know what it tastes like.

Unfortunately, you might end up not enjoying it because by the time all of us took our turns, you would almost die.” It was then that their mission dawned on me. I pleaded with them but the one who spoke, who I felt was the leader of the gang said there was no room for mercy. Trouble however started in their camp when they started quarrelling about who would be the first person to rape me.

I kept pleading with them though they did not cover their faces, and they did not seem to care. The biggest shock however, was that my stepsisters were home but they made no attempt to assist me. Initially, I thought they had problems too, but realised that if they did, they wouldn’t have kept quiet. I was sure they were home because I heard them talking not quite long before these guys forcefully entered my room.

I, however, noticed that one of them who had his back on the door and had been quiet all along asked all of them to shut up and keep quiet. When he spoke, they all kept quiet. He asked if truly I was a virgin and I told him yes. He said rape won’t be the best way for me to be deflowered; he then ordered others out of my room. It was then that I realised that he was the leader of the gang. He said he believed me and he wouldn’t know why my sisters would want me treated this way.

I was shocked when he said this. He, however, warned that he mustn’t hear this from me. After this warning, they left. I couldn’t sleep or leave my room, even when it was morning. I called my partner (aunty) to come and take me to her house, where I explained everything that happened to her.

She was the one who in turn relayed the incident to my father when he came back. I begged him not to make trouble with Aunty Mope and her children because I would bear the brunt whenever he was not at home. That was why my father decided that I should go to England to continue my studies. Fortunately two years after I had left, she moved out of my father’s house with her children.

Now, I have finished schooling, back home living in peace with my father and I met this young man at a singles’ programme that I was invited to by a colleague in the bank where I work at one of the popular pentecostal churches in Lagos.

Lekan, a cool, handsome man, two years older, works with an oil company, very religious. A born-again, spirit -filled brother from a very good home — any young lady’s dream husband met with me and asked if I recognised him. I said no. We exchanged numbers and we began chatting. He had taken me to lunch a couple of times and even invited me to his friends’ parties. Two weeks ago, he asked if he could visit me at home and meet my father. I said why not? He then told me that he had a confession to make before them. I wondered what his confession was all about.

I thought probably he was married or maybe he had a child or children hidden somewhere. What he said however threw me off balance.

Taiwo, Lekan was that man who stopped others from raping me on the day I was to be dealt with.

I was shocked. He pleaded with me and said he has changed. He told me everything about other members of his gang, how he got into their midst and why he decided to opt out.

He confessed that he didn’t know what made him felt sorry for me that fateful day as he was a very ruthless member of the gang.

He now wants to marry me. Taiwo, I can’t reconcile the fact that this Lekan is different from that Lekan.

Please, what should I do?
Morenike