FROM SATAN TO GOD MAN

This is the fourth in a Sunday Observer series featuring stories told by inner-city men who have turned from a life of crime and are trying to steer young, at-risk males away from that destructive path.

NICHOLAS Miller was once the terror of sections of Arnett Gardens — the depressed South St Andrew community known as ‘Concrete Jungle’.

In fact he gave himself the moniker, ‘The Devil’.

The mere mention of his name drove fear in the hearts of many and he was a regular occupant of the cells at the Denham Town Police Station.

Miraculously, Miller has left the life of criminality behind him and has been steadfastly doing his part to make Jamaica a better place. He is a member of the Citizens Security and Justice Programme (CSJP)-sponsored Men With A Message — a nine-member group of former gangsters and ex-convicts who have shaken off a life of crime and are now trying to motivate young at-risk males to avoid the criminal lifestyle by engaging them in dialogue in schools, on street corners and just about anywhere they can be found.

Miller has a message for young males who might be enticed by the false glitter of the gangster lifestyle.

“Think for yourselves. If you don’t like school, get a trade. You need to do something progressive. No man can think for you, they don’t care for you, they only care for themselves. Let’s make Jamaica a better place,” he said.

Miller, who gave up the gun upon the birth of his first son, has since completed the Levels One and Two courses in electrical installation at the Heart Trust/NTA vocational skills training centre.

He graduated as one of the top students in his batch.

But, like many inhabitants of impoverished communities where social amenities are badly lacking and life is lived on the edge, he had a torrid childhood.

He was one of many children raised by his grandmother after his mother died when he was just seven years old. His father was never around.

“I never knew love. No one showed me love so I did not know how to relate to love. Nobody teach me how to love,” he said.

By the age of 15 Miller was roaming the streets picking ackees and selling, extorting working class persons including teachers at the Charlie Smith Comprehensive High School and engaging in the gamut of illicit activities found in the criminal underworld.

He came to be well known to the police in the Kingston West Division as bodies piled up during a bloody war in Arnett Gardens that claimed over 300 lives.

However he was never implicated in any of those murders.

But that life lost its hold in the face of Miller’s burning desire to put his life on a productive and meaningful track and after meeting a member of his community who had hooked up with the CSJP he joined the programme and started his journey of transformation.

But his attempt to free himself from the shackles of criminality was not without hitches.

Once he got suspended from the life skills classes because of poor behaviour. Another time, he abused a fellow student and nearly got kicked out of the programme.

“I was beginning to get deep in the thing and the man carry weed in the class. I kicked him up because he might have caused problems for all of us,” Miller told the Sunday Observer.

CSJP community action officer Marcia Flynn, who has mentored Miller, said all students who attend classes she teaches, must paste the words FOCUS on a wall in their homes as a reminder of what they set out to achieve.

Miller said he pasted the word up all over his house and made sure to paste it on the ceiling above his bed so it would be the last thing he saw before he fell asleep and the first thing he saw when he woke up in the morning.

“It really helped me to do just that, focus and stay straight,” he said.

Miller has been a hit whenever he gives speeches at schools and his autograph is eagerly sought after by students all over the country who are impressed by his life story.

“If I can save one youth, then that is good. I am doing my part to build this country. I might not have started out on the right track but I am glad where my life is going,” he said.

Flynn said she is impressed with Miller’s new attitude and is assured that he will not backslide.

“He has done exceptionally well in classes and is looking to go further. He wants to start a small business. Nicholas has the will to achieve and he always wants to do more,” Flynn said.

He was once wanted by the police and his name would be the first to be called whenever crimes were committed in sections of the community, but now he has no reason to fear the cops who have come to the realisation that Miller has taken an about turn and is contributing positively to society.

“I once was the Devil but not anymore. Police have no reason to look for me,” he said, “It is impossible for me to take up back the gun. I am no longer a menace to society. There is no temptation to return to that lifestyle.”

His claim was corroborated by Deputy Superintendent in charge of crime in the Kingston West Police Division, Arthur Brown.

The divisional crime cheif told the Sunday Observer that Miller: “…was a regular guest (of the police), but I can tell that he has been reformed. He is preaching now.”

As is to be expected, during his time as a gangster Miller hurt people. However, he says the thought that those he hurt or their loved ones might seek to exact their revenge, does not faze him.

“The devil strong, but God stronger. Me beg God for forgiveness and maybe he sees that I am a changed man. I don’t think he will make my enemies kill me. They might hurt me but he will not let them kill me,” he said.

Miller has dedicated his life to his children and, unlike his own delinquent father, he is determined that his children will not follow his early footsteps.

“I have set certain morals for my children. Certain songs can’t play in my house. I love my baby-mother too,” he said as he flashed a grin.