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MY PLACE

 

My Place
I had a so-called privilege life, I was very smart and intelligent but I did not know it.  You see everything I would do was never good enough for my mother.  When my report cards would come home from school I would fail mathematics, physics and biology.  However, I would get above the nineties in English, Literature, History and Spanish.  But that was not good enough, I was beaten and put down and I never had my mother on my side.  My mother was terrible and very abusive I stayed out of many things because of my low self esteem.  I had a lot of clothes and shoes but I never had a lot of support.  My father did not understand anything about school he only new how to make money. But he was a good father although he did not have any education he understood life. Once I was complaining to my father that I having problems at my school with another girl and he said to me “Not every where you go people are going to like you, and you are not going to like everybody, just respect people.” I am grateful for that statement because it has made my life much easier.
Although my other sisters went through the same thing mine was worse because I could not do math, I later found out that I could not use formulas so that hindered me from doing those kind of  subjects. I always asked my sister to put things together for me and she was pretty good at it.  Poor girl I told her you could have been an engineer and she said that is what I wanted to be but mommy never saw that.   She said that no one ever realized and she did not understand why my mother never saw that.  Misplaced people always want to see other people out of place.   Now I realize that I am creative and that family members are  my biggest fans.  I did not complete college but with my creativity I am never broke or unable to find work.  Life would get better. In my early thirties I created something that would catch the eye of an important person and just like that I was able to create my own magazine and do what other people could only dream of doing.  My mother is now my biggest fan.  I really don’t need any support from her now and now I have to give her emotional support.  She still has the mentality that only doctors and lawyers are valid people in society but she no longer brings her arguments to me.
My mother now tells me how smart and intelligent I am.  Before it was how worthless, stupid and not worthy.   It is too late I could have gone another way but by the grace of God I was able to stay within a certain line. I am so advanced now because I have adopted certain principles for myself and because of that people try there best to stab me in the back. I do not let people bother me  I pity them,as they try their best to heal themselves by hurting others.   There is a lot more to this story but I would like to share something with you. When I was about seven years old I had a driver who took us to school I asked him why was that man sweeping the streets.  He said well if he did not sweep and clean the streets the place would be stink and there would be no one to pick up the dead dogs or the garbage.  We would have all kinds of disease and a lot sick people even the doctors would be sick.   I remember that statement all my life and I have not remembered most of what my mother said.  What I want to say we all have a place and you are the one that has to find it because that is the place that you will be in all your life.. No one can find it for you.  If you do what you want to do in support of your talents you have to be paid you cannot suffer because you are in your place no one can remove you.  Teachers like pastors are not supposed to be trained they should be called from a higher power and that is not the case, most of them are out of their place.  What do you think will happen to your children if you leave them to someone who is misplaced? Fathers, please  encourage your children they are an extension of your life.  Mothers your children deserve your support and love they are stars in your crown.  So the next time the teacher calls you in for a meeting and  has given you the bad report ask them “What does my child do well?”

Written by lKing

THE LLEWLLYN TRAGEDY-2 STORIES IN ONE

A Brother Reaches Out

He?

Published: Sunday | April 10, 20111 Comment

Fitzroy Townsend
Fitzroy Townsend
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Erica Virtue, Senior Gleaner Writer

Corporal Wayne Llewellyn was always punctual, respectful and reassuring to his colleagues in Area Three of the Jamaica Constabulary Force (JCF) whom he told all was well, just hours before his murderous rampage in the tiny rural district of Three Hills in St Mary early last Thursday morning.

The cop’s rage against the family of his estranged wife Joan, the apparent target of his assault, was unleashed when he critically wounded her and snuffed out the lives of her parents, her brother and her daughter Jorjhan Flynn, leaving a thick pall of gloom over the rural community and shock from his colleagues in Area Three. Llewellyn also took his own life in the blood-curdling rampage.

 
 

Published: Sunday | April 10, 20111 Comment

Livern Barrett, Sunday Gleaner Writer

Fearing that his younger brother’s murderous rampage in the quiet community of Three Hills, St Mary, last Thursday has driven a wedge between two closely knit families, Simeon Llewellyn reached out to his in-laws yesterday in a heart-rending attempt to start the healing process.

“We wish we could console them (relatives of the Brown family) in some way,” offered Simeon, who acted as the spokesman for some members of the Llewellyn family in their first public comments since the shocking multiple murder-suicide.

“We still consider ourselves to be your friend. We are really hoping that you can find some solace in the fact that it is not us against you, it was just something that happened at the spur of the moment and we don’t know what we could have done to prevent it,” he added when asked what he wanted to say to the Brown family.

warm moments

Simeon Llewellyn recounted some of the warm moments shared between both families during his brother’s 13-year marriage, but said some members of his family are struggling to find a way to approach their in-laws to help them cope with their loss and are considering asking their respective pastors for help.

The hesitance, he explained, is caused by the backlash from the community towards the family and, in particular, his brother.

“We would love to tell them that we are just as hurt as they are about their loss. We really, really, really, really are very upset and hurt and we feel itfor them. God knows we feel it for them, but we don’t know what to do,” said Simeon.

Police investigators believe Corporal Llewellyn sneaked in the home of his estranged wife’s parents and unleashed a barrage of bullets. The shooting ended when Llewellyn put a bullet into his head, but not before he had killed his mother-in-law, Rachel Brown, 79, her husband Voldy Brown, 73, his brother-in-law, Fitzroy Townsend, and his 16 year-old stepdaughter Jorjhan Flynn.

His wife Joan, who was also critically injured in the attack, remained hospitalised yesterday in serious condition.

Simeon painted a picture of his brother as someone who was well-liked by his family, his in-laws and his colleagues because he was very affectionate, gentle and loving. However, his one vice, according to Simeon, was that he wanted to be right all the time.

“I think this is where his problem was … he wanted everything to go right all the while. He did not like grays. It’s either black or white. It’s either right or wrong,” Simeon explained.

This, he indicated, was at the centre of Wayne Llewellyn’s marital problems as he and his wife would disagree over attempts to discipline Flynn.

all very close

Corporal Llewellyn has three children from previous relationships. When contacted yesterday, one of them, whose name is being withheld, described the incident as “very sad”, but he declined to comment further.

“She is my stepmother and the family, they were all very close to me because they have been in my life for 13 years, so there is nothing to say,” he said.

When asked about his father’s actions, he simply replied: “What can I say about my father?”

Simeon Llewellyn said he knew his brother was having marital problems, but insisted that “nobody saw this coming” and that his action, which the family is not condoning, has left them searching for answers.

“We wish he could have resolved it another way. We couldn’t agree with what he did, but what we don’t know is why it happened, and we cannot understand why he would have done something like that,” he said.

“Some people can’t even talk about it. Some people are still in shock and some people are totally confused,” he said.

Wayne Llewellyn was born and raised in Manchester as the fourth of five brothers and eight sisters between his parents. He attended Manchester High School and was a member of the Ocho Rios Seventh-day Adventist Church, in St Ann.

 

DOCKTA SPEKLE

HAVE A GOODNIGHT ON ME GUYS

CAR WASHER FLIPPA??

SMADDY COMMENT THIS SUMWHEY UNNO CAN CONFIRM?

you live a atlanta ago tell a man weh live a jamaica what flippa have down here? my yute when flippa did a par with spragga and bruk and nuh hav no money , you did know him? you did know him when him use to wash car a waterhouse? before him get the little role inna shotta as john john that spragga give him? you did know him when dim use to play football a arnette gardens? or you just a go by hear say, or you just know him true dudus give him papers fi go link with father dosa who own rebel t a miami who was flippa boss? how you think father dosa get him money? or you hear say him have things a philly whe under him gyal name? my yute a kingston 13 me come from where that flippa come from, when him did name little flippa flin, stop hype up some bruk pocket man, like me say me nuh rich and even if me did rich me nah show off pan ppl, the worst thing is to show off and get bruk, when him get dip, me hope you same one say him nuh bruk, if father dosa a (Edited) him a flippa boss, why you think flippa have this galore a money

ROBBED TO RICHES PART 2

Robbed to Riches
Part 2


The school term was about to end and I got most of my grades and although I did good I could have done a lot better. My boyfriend did not call me for my birthday and I did not hear from him until a week after which was strange. I decided that when he called I would use my birthday as an excuse to break off the relationship. To my surprise when he called he told me that he had gotten another girl pregnant but he still wanted me in his life. I hung up the phone and never spoke to him since. Hurt, anger and relief made the decision easy. Billy and I had plans that evening and I was really looking forward to it, we went to a Chinese restaurant and while I used a knife and fork he ate with chopsticks. He told me more about himself and how he was named after his fathers brother because he was the second boy and he was born on his uncles birthday, he was a Virgo. He also told me that he had three girls ages 14, 12 and 9. He also said they lived with their mother who he married at 25 and then divorced at 37. This did not make him any less attractive I just listened to all he had to say and spoke when it was necessary. After a long talk he asked me if I had anything planned for my school break and I told him that I was going to see my family and he asked me how was I planning on getting there and I said by bus. After my response he laughed and said that he was going to give me a number to a man that could take me anywhere I wanted to go at anytime. I asked him how safe would it be for me to go with a strange man all the way to Clarendon and he said he is no stranger he had known him for 15 years. He dropped me off and reminded me to call “Carl” in the morning an hour or so before I was ready and I told him thank you.

It was Friday and I was packing my bags to leave, my phone rang and on the other line was a man who said, “Good morning miss, di boss seh mi mus call yu, what time will you be ready please?” I told him that I would be ready at 12:30pm and he said that he was on his way and he would meet me then. Call me naive but all this time I thought this was a taxi man, but when he pulled up he was in a blue pick-up. Earlier in the week I had made plans to travel with my room mate and did not want to leave her alone to take the bus. Before I could think Carl took my bags from me and put them in the bag along with that of my room mate. While driving home I was in a daze, my room mate had a puzzled look on her face as well. Carl asked me if I wanted something to eat and I said no and he asked us another five times. After he dropped off my room mate he handed me an envelope and told me that “Mass Billy ” told him to give it to me I took the envelope and dropped it in my purse. He dropped me home I told him thank you and he said to me if you need me you can call me on this number and he gave me the number again. When I got inside I greeted Mama and she told me my mother was not there and my aunt and sisters had gone to the market. I was anxious to see what was in the envelope as it seemed like a thin piece of paper when I opened it, it was a cheque written in the sum of 60,000 thousand dollars, I was shocked. My aunt returned and they told me that they wanted to make me fry bammy and fish but did not expect that I would return that quickly and I told her that I got a ride. Fish and bammy always taste good to me especially when she cooked it. The night passed and the first person to call me was Billy I was happy to hear him and he was happy to hear me. He asked me if I was allowed to go out and I laughed he also asked me how was it driving with “nascar” Carl I told him that Carl was courteous. Nothing was said about the cheque. He said he was happy I was happy with my driver, because he will be picking me up at 1:30pm in the afternoon.

Patrice was a good friend, a girl I knew for many years, she called me crying the night before and I decided that I will visit her the following day. With Billy’s invitation I knew I would not be able to make it everywhere I wanted to go unless of course I called Carl. I called Carl and he said that it was no problem he will pick me up. My aunt was present when Carl came to pick me up and thought it was strange that he called me “Miss”. Shr asked me who he was and I pretended like I did not hear her. Carl asked me where I was going and I told him the bank and then to Patrice’s house. Patrice lived with her mother and did not have a lot of family support, her mother worked in a bar as a bartender. Patrice’s father lived in the US and since I have known her he has been filing her papers and that is a long time. When I saw Patrice she looked distressed and very pregnant. “Patrice, yu pregnant?” I said “Mi nat even wah talk bout it.” she responded. I sat down on the bed and she explained to me that her boyfriend went away to England four weeks ago and she has not heard from him. To make it worse she was told that he got married a year ago and he left to be with his wife, this was not good news especially with her being five months pregnant. “Weh mi a go do,eeh? Mommy a stress mi an a tell mi seh mi wutless, and mi jus cah tek it, mi cah tek it. Weh mi a go do mi neva plan fi dis.” she cried. Patrice said that there was no way of her to go to her doctor’s appointment and it was very hard on her as she depended on her boyfriend for support. I told her not to worry I can help in whatever way I can I gave her 7,000 dollars and told her to take it easy because she was pregnant. She was very concerned and wondered how I could afford to give her the money I told her to just take it. It was not a good time to tell her about Billy so I just did not explain myself. Carl waited patiently outside for me and I left Patrice about 11:45 a.m., I stopped quickly to get a few things went home had a bath and left for Billy’s house. Carl Patiently waited a few houses down because I did not want it to look suspicious. We drove up to a long drive way the gate was automatic and it opened once we got there. We were happy to see each other he hugged me and my stomach moved he told me that we were going to go Port Antonio. He asked me if I ever got sea sick and I told him I never have and that’s because I never been on a boat and he laughed. The lawn of his home was beautiful he lived in what seemed to be a bungalow until I went in side and saw that there were stairs inside the house. There were a lot of pictures, too many to count all over his house. One picture stood out, you could see that it was taken a very long time ago. It had a very dark lady seated with three children with a white man standing behind her, he told me it was his mother and her parents. His house was big and spacious and it was well kept his kitchen lead out to a back patio and it was bigger than my entire house. I did not go upstairs I just wandered with my eyes until it was time to go. He said that we were going to have a long drive and his driver would driver would do the driving and he sat in the back with me.

Being with him made me happy and I cannot explained what came over me, he was 19 years my senior and I have never been this comfortable with any man. He held my hand all the way to Port Antonio a place where I would always return. I was not only excited but I felt excited with all the preparations he made for me, we went on the boat approximately 5:30 pm and he showed me the Blue Lagoon and Frenchman’s Cove these are things that I had never seen before even though I was living in Jamaica I was not living in his Jamaica. The sunset was what he wanted me to see an after I saw that my eyes were opened and I knew I would spend my life with this man. it was a long drive home and I fell asleep, when I woke up I was in a strange bed I could hear someone talking loudly in Billy’s voice but I could not hear anyone responding. I looked at the time and it was 9:00 am and I got open the door but it led to a bathroom I turned the opposite way and was given personal items by a lady who greeted me at the door with Good Morning. The conversation Billy was having continued and I heard him say that he was being more than kind and if the person did not like it they should find a job. It was his ex-wife. and this was not a healthy relationship. The argument lasted for about twenty minutes then he told her that she was charging too much personal items on the credit cards and it was was for his children. I also over hear him saying that she got 4,000 US dollars each month and did not pay for her house and had a credit card with 15,000 CAD credit limit. I cleaned up my self and then I went out to where he was and he told me Good morning and asked me if I had a good rest. He said he was up from five because he had some things to attend to. He said I should not mind the phone call. He then laughed and said ” I call my children every morning but their mother still loves to hear my voice.”

Aunty called me and I told her it was too late to go home so I stayed at my friend’s house as it was not unusual for me to do that. We had breakfast on the patio and it was served to us by a lady called “Ann”. Ann was his helper and she was very polite and kept a smile on her face. He said that there was another lady and that I would meet her in a few weeks because she was on vacation. I had fish and bananas for breakfast and that proved that he was a good listener because I did tell him that I loved fish. Ann was a good cook, and when I was leaving she gave me a bag of oranges and said she was glad someone could take some because it would rot. I would see Ann many times after that and she was always polite. I would also see Carl who never failed me he was always on time and every week he would bring me a cheque in an envelope. The last time I checked I had about 200,000 in the bank which I wanted to put towards my student loan. During the summer I went to many different places like Strawberry Hill, Sumfest and such. Although I went out a lot with Billy it was never around his family so when he told me that he was inviting me to go with him to his niece’s christening which would be in November I was excited but nervous.
Timed passed and it was about six months that I and Billy connected and the only time we spent apart was when he was working or when he went to visit his children for 2 weeks in Canada. His birthday was coming up and I did not know what to give him I could never match his kindness. I had to come up with something extraordinary and since we have never taken it all the way I decided that I should give him my body. This was something that I had to do well because I wanted to keep him not lose him.

CORDELL GREEN DO YOU NEED PADS NOW/MIDOL/A WARM COMPRESS?

[promoslider]

read
I must confess that I’m still peeved that the General Manager of Newstalk proved to be such a lubricated conduit for the Broadcasting Commission (BC) by instantly firing me because of a complaint by Cordel Green, executive Gestapo director of the BC for my interview with Ragashanti  on March 16, 2011.
My crime was expressing the view that Raga was being unfairly targeted  by the BC; that the BC was engaged in censorship under the guise of protecting children; and, that I allowed Raga to libel the BC when he accused them of having committed a “criminal act” against him. This idea that to describe an incident but perhaps use the wrong word (criminal in this case) as being libelous is laughable. I have commented on that elsewhere, so I won’t waste time responding to that. But it does go to the heart of a bigger issue, which is the question of suppressing the right to use language creatively, and official discrimination against the Jamaican vernacular. I will come back to that.
The more immediate point, though, is that it was not the BC listener vigilantes who called to complain. (The BC actively encourages people to listen and call them to make reports).  It was Cordel Green, who had cowardly declined to be on the programme,  but who lay in waiting to hear 

what was being said, who was the one who called the GM because he felt offended.
Cowardly Cordel was behaving like the policeman who goes to an adult entertainment event and hauls off an artiste to jail because he saysbomboclate.  In a case like this, it is the policeman’s morals who is offended, which is not what the law requires.  The patrons paid their money to possibly hear and enjoy a lot of bomboclates — they were not offended. (See video of  Peter Tosh singing Oh Bomboclate below). Indeed, most would rather if the policeman kept away from their event. The policeman cannot substitute his own morals for the people.  And, by the way, no bomboclate was cussed by Raga apart from referring to Cordel and Hopeton Dunn as dutty conqueror. That might have ticked him off  but was legal, and being ticked off cannot be a pretext to corruptly use one’s powers to abuse.
So not only was Cordel, the Cowardly Policeman offended, he didn’t bother to  follow the BC’s own guidelines by writing the offending party and making a complaint etc. He decided instead to instantly call an apparently familiar, lubricated GM conduit to complain. 

Now let’s move on to what is apparently the bigger agenda for Cordel Green, Hopeton Dunn and the Broadcasting Commission. Withiout knowing anything personal about these two gentlemen who are running the Broadcasting Commission, it is obvious that they are of a very conservative political persuasion and they intend to use the power they wield through the BC to carry out their conservative agenda.

Raga in trying to make sense of their politics blurted out that Dunn was once a member of the communist WPJ. I stopped him short by saying that that was of no consequence. All of these former communists have turned their backs on anything that they once stood for that was progressive, and it is debatable as to what was ever progressive about their politics
.
I recommend a 2007 Gleaner interview by Earl Moxam with Hopeton Dunn. Says Dunn: “we are not a censorship body” (could have fooled me) and, even though “we are about to get very aggressive” (haven’t they?) there is no intention “to stifle freedom of expression”: So Dr Dunn: why at the instigation of Cordel Green was I fired from Newstalk? Not because of censorhip? Not because I facilitated a loose cannon to challenge your quest to be dutty conqueror?

There can be no doubt that the constant ragging by Raga of these gentlemen, was an irritation and had gotten under their skins and only served to inflame their determination to get rid of him. By collateral damage extension, the fact that Newstalk supposedly lost “confidence” in my sense of balance, meant that I could not be allowed to facilitate another attack on the Broadcasting Commission. In that sense Newstalk was correct. I could give them no guarantee even if it had been demanded.

Since this happening a few things have become more apparent to me in terms of the various ways the Broadcasting Commission wields its power. A radio station that was interested in hiring me declined after listening to the Raga interview: not because there was anything objectionable in what was said, but once again because they found it objectionable that I facilitated an unbalanced attack on the Broadcasting Commission. Said the sales executive to me: “We have no problem with the Broadcasting Commission. We make money from the Broadcasting Commission!!!!”

He was referring to an outside broadcast apparently facilitated (paid for) by the BC in which there was a long interview with Cordel Green, portions of which I was lucky to have heard. Surprise, surprise, Cordel came across as a Christian fundamentalist. This missionary zeal to protect the airwaves could only be proven to be wrong, he said, if at Church he ever heard the preacher/Imam/Rabbi/priest (take your pick) use a bad word. What a bomboclate! If that ever occurs he said, then it would be time for the Broadcasting Commission to change its position! So once again the Church or the excuse of the Church is used as their moral yardstick. God help those of us who couldn’t care less about Church morality. So straight laced is Mr Green he said that he would not like to be walking on the beach with his young child and see anyone nude as is allowed in some parts of Europe. What a calamity that would be.

Cordel’s child I guess has never seen his or her parents nude; has never heard his or her parents cuss a bad word; obviously goes to a school run by nuns and priests; and so WE the people of Jamaica, by extension, adults and children, are Cordel and Hopeton Dunn’s children to whom they have committed themselves to protect from ungodly bad word cussers, from people who make ungodly sexual innuendoes on the air. And if their trap ensnares others who are making critical social analysis then so be it. What a repressive, misguided and dangerous set of individuals.

The Broadcasting Commission is using a great deal of public resources to run expensive ads in the media, and in the process is able to corrupt those media houses who hanker after a shrinking advertising dollar. Don’t forget that 80% of the public believes that public officials are corrupt. It can happen anywhere.

The Charter of Rights has finally been passed. But this Charter fails to acknowledge that Jamaica is a bi-lingual nation and that there is discrimination against patwa speakers. Visit the courts and witness how standard English is oppressively used to deny justice to non-standard English speakers.

The Broadcasting Commission, an arm of the state, practices its own variation of this type of class prejudice and class discrimination. Where employment is concerned, it is a godsend for careerists, overqualified to be street policemen, but only too happy to serve a police role in business suits. Simply put, the Broadcasting Commission is an extension of the Jamaica Constabulary Force, which doesn’t have a good reputation where human rights are concerned.

But does any one care?

 

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