FI ALL WHO A TALK DIS A PARIS BIG BIG BIG DIAMOND RING…………GWAAN CHRU PARIS BUT TEK OFF DI FUNNY COLORS PLEASEEEEEEEE

A Zambian magistrate court sitting in Lusaka has lashed out on a middle-aged man for being in the habit of inspecting his wife’s private part.
The man named William Phiri was alleged by his wife, Hope Lungu of being in the habit of inspecting her private parts to confirm if she has slept with another man.
He also allegedly stopped all male friends from visiting their home or coming near his wife.
Lungu, 33, told the court that she felt offended with her husband’s habit of checking her private parts. This forced her to take the matter to court to end her misery in their 18-year-old marriage.
Magistrate Mwape said, “your actions are unjustified and prove that indeed there is a problem in this marriage. It is unheard of for a husband to check his wife’s private parts.”
Magistrate Mwape said inspecting Lungu’s private parts and forcing her to wear her husband’s underwear could not stop her from having s*x with other men, if she wanted to.
On his defence on the allegations levied against him, Phiri said that he suspected that his wife was having an extra-marital affairs.
He claimed that on two occasions, a man had come to their home with groceries and other commodities but she did not introduce the man to him. This, he claimed, raised suspicion and a subsequent ban on men visiting them.
Phiri alleged that his brother-in-law defiled his daughter, saying this had fuelled tension between the couple.
He told the court that he became uncomfortable with his in-laws taking up the financial responsibility of his family.
The court then dissolved the marriage. There was no compensation paid because he was financially insolvent as it was evident from the way the couple’s in-laws were feeding them.
But Magistrate Mwape ordered Phiri to pay monthly maintenance of K300, 000 for his four children.
What is your take on this story?
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Does God determine the time of a person’s death?

God is at War: The Spiritual Battle – Don’t Blame God series (2 of 4)

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Here are two very significant theological statements that too few Christians understand:

(1) Life is not a giant bakery.
(2) People are not milk cartons.

How many times have you heard people say, when commenting on someone’s untimely death (biblically, all death is untimely), “His number was up.” Huh?

My question is: What number?

Yes, the Bible speaks about “the bread of life,” but life is not a giant bakery, as in “Take a number.” In the bakery scenario, people wait with anticipation for their number to be “up,” so they can enjoy the jelly doughnut or whatever. But in life, no one wants to hear his number called and find a speeding bus inches away from him.

Or what about someone saying that he had a close call with death, but “It wasn’t my time to go.” That could give special meaning to the ordinary question, “What time is it?” Your time. nooo!!!

And I ask, “Who sets that time?”

Yes, the Bible speaks of “the milk of the Word,” but people are not milk cartons. That means that no human being comes from the factory with an expiration date stamped on him or her.

I’m not sure what year it was that expiration dates began to be stamped on food products, but when you see something with a date in the next decade, don’t eat it. The preservatives in it will not preserve you. What does preserve you, or at least give you the best chance of sticking around this life for a while, is learning the will of God from the Word of God, and doing it. God created mankind with genuine free will, and our choices play a major role in determining the quality, and length, of our lives.

If we hold to the Bible as the only source of truth regarding God, Jesus, and all spiritual matters, we will not find ourselves believing that people are milk cartons in a giant bakery, because those ideas are nowhere in Scripture. The Word of God does not say that He determines the time of a person’s death. Legally, that would make Him a murderer.

God makes it clear, for those with eyes to see and ears to hear His Word, that He is love, that death was never part of His original plan, and that He wants all people to live and be blessed by having a personal relationship with Him and His Son, the Lord Jesus. God gave us genuine free will, and our choices in large part determine our quality and quantity of life on this earth.

Why Did The Jamaican Chicken Cross The Road?
Published: Wednesday | June 13, 2012 70 Comments

Din Duggan
By Din Duggan

I know I’ll be grilled for this one. Some of my more intellectually inclined readers will cry foul. They’ll ask, “What is this ‘cluckery’?” They might even fly the coop, never to return. But this piece isn’t intended to ruffle feathers. The answer to the age-old question of the chicken and the road highlights the critical role perspective plays in shaping perception.

The Government’s recent tax package, for example, was met with restrained – but widespread – disapproval. However, had the Opposition – often seen as elitist – proffered the very same package, blood – or marrow – might have flowed in the streets.

To explore this phenomenon of selective perception, I set out to pose the question to a few prominent Jamaicans. But then I realised, I don’t really know any prominent Jamaicans. So I simply made up their responses, instead. I’m fairly confident that what follows is an adequate approximation of their answers.

So, why did the chicken cross the road?

Bob Marley: Well, I man see the chicken not just as a chicken, but as Rastafari. The injustice weh Rastafari face is the same injustice and brutality weh the fowl did a try escape.

Bruce Golding: I told it, “Not in my Cabinet.” Furthermore, chickens’ rights do not begin at Liguanea; they begin at Cross Roads!

K.D. Knight: I ordered it to pack its bags and go!

Portia Simpson Miller: It couldn’t manage when I ‘tun up di ting’.

Professor Carolyn Cooper: Di chicken neva waan cross di road, but it neva know how fi read di road sign weh did inna Hinglish.

Oliver Samuels: The chicken cross the road regular, very regular.

Mavado: To get to the Gully side.

Vybz Kartel: Beg unnu let mi outta jail, bout chicken. Oh!

Peter Phillips: I don’t know. But anyhow it come back, I gwine tax it.

Marcus Garvey: The chicken has not been wholly inculcated with the delusional mindset under which it has, for so many years, been enslaved. The chicken, understanding that it can only achieve real self-determination by repatriating to its true and rightful home, finally decided to break free of its circumstances and seek lasting liberty.

Corey Todd: Mi like it!

Michael Manley: There were five flights a day across that road.

Bounty Killer: Eh, yow, yallow. I are was going to hammer the fowl if it did was to remain on this side of the road. I told it, ‘cross’, or I will get angry, miserable!

Beenie Man: He was on his way to apologise to the other side, so as to obtain a work visa.

Eddie Seaga: It lit a candle, sang a Sankey, and found its way home.

P.J. Patterson: I declared a public holiday on that side of the road.

Constabulary Communication Network: While on patrol, a police team encountered a group of chickens. The group opened fire on the police patrol. Fire was returned, after which a rooster was found dead in the road. A .38 revolver containing two live rounds was recovered at the scene.

Buju Banton: He was entrapped!

Reverend Al Miller: I got a call from the chicken indicating that he was in need of safe passage to the other side.

Potential Kid: A yah so nice.

INDECOM: We are investigating.

Usain Bolt: I was driving my BMW at 95.8 miles per hour, when, suddenly, I saw a chicken crossing the road. I swerved to avoid it and collided with a guardrail. Asafa Powell pulled up behind me, as usual, and provided limited assistance.

Lisa Hanna: These ducks crossed the river with the utmost alacrity and dexterity. If my figures are accurate, it appears the geese, of which you speak, not only crossed the lake in record time, but crossed 33.74 per cent faster than any other swan previously recorded. [smile]

Paula Llewellyn: Our office will not be taking further action on this question.

Andrew Holness: To understand why the chicken crossed the road, you must first understand the history of the chicken. The chicken was born in a small fowl coop in rural Jamaica. As a young chick, the chicken encountered several hardships from which it has yet to completely recover. In 1969, for example … . [Oops! Time ran out.]

Din Duggan: It appears that in Jamaica, chickens only cross roads when instructed to do so – either by US authorities, foreign lending agencies, or other external forces. Jamaican chickens seem incapable of innovative and decisive actions made of their own accord. It appears the Jamaican chicken is just that – chicken.

Din Duggan is an attorney working as a consultant with a global legal search firm. Email him at [email protected] or [email protected], or view his past columns at facebook.com/dinduggan and twitter.com/YoungDuggan.

SV Emigrants from West Indies disembarking at Plymouth from the S.S. Colobie, onto tender. CU West Indian man disembarking. CU Another man disembarking. CU Pan, woman with floral dress on, disembarking. SCU Long haired West Indian man vaulting gangway. SCU A French sailor carrying child down gangway. SV Piled up luggage on deck. SCU Pan, West Indian people on tender as it approaches shore. LV Tender as it approaches shore, with English coastline in background.

CU Road sign: “Somerleyton Road” in Brixton. GV Pan, Somerleyton Road in Brixton. SV Interior, Walter Austin (8 years here) post office worker, joined by his wife on easy chair. CU The Austin children – twin girls. SV Interior, Mrs Dorothy Morgan (2 years here) husband on night work, and woman on right Miss Edna Young (2 years here) nurse in the South & General Hospital. CU Miss Young, pan to Mrs Morgan. SV & CU Mr and Mrs Samuel Davis, a commercial teacher, at present working as display machinist (been over here for four months). CU Mr and Mrs Samuel Davis.

LV Brixton labour exchange. SV Notice board outside exchange. GV Loughborough Park building site. SV Black workers on site. SCU Workers receiving instructions. SV Men at work. CU Man working on scaffolding. CU Another man working on scaffolding.

SV Interior, black children in nursery at Coldharbour Lane. CU Mixed children in care of attendants. SCU black child and white child together on rocking horse. CU black child in swing. SCU Attendant feeling black girl’s hair.

Angle shot, Colonial Office. SV. Deputation led by Mayor of Lambeth, Councillor White outside. CU Mayor of Lambeth. SV Deputation entering, pan up to Colonial Office. SV John Parsons, Pathe reporter interviewing Mayor of Lambeth. lead for voice. SCU Mayor saying: “…First is long term policy which will have to be adopted… …development of West Indies themselves… …only answer to this problem.”

GV Pan, sugar plantation in West Indies. SV & CU Man cutting down sugar cane. GV Line of people carrying cane to barges. SV people dumping cane in barge. GV & SV Pan, houses in the West Indies. SCU Small boy being bathed in bucket. SCU & CU Woman washing clothes on side of river. CU Woman beating washing with stick. GV A West Indian market street. SV Vendors sitting in road with their goods. SCU Bunches of bananas. SV Pan, black women walking over to fruit market in Brixton. CU Woman pointing. SCU Woman’s purchase being handed to her. CU Woman receiving purchase. SV Sequence of black people walking about Brixton.

SV John Parsons walking with Bill Strachan from Jamaica. He was commissioned bomber pilot in R.A.F. during world war two and now a council office worker. Lead for voice – CU Bill Strachan being interviewed (natural sound). Parsons asks about his views on Jamaican emigrants. Strachan replies: “…our people from West Indies here have no enmity to any British people… …will be a strength to them… …are ambitious… …will not under cut trade unionists… …will help in the cultural life… …co-operative with the British people… …no special privileges or anything more than other British worker.”

SV Another load of emigrants arriving in bitter weather. LV Emigrants aboard ship lining to see emigration officer. SV Official checking their papers. SCU Well wrapped people on ship. SV & SCU People with children being helped down gangway. SV Emigrant families down gangway. SCU Two heavily clothed but frozen looking emigrants.