Dear Taiwo,
I am in a dilemma and I find it difficult to open up to people on this issue, because the few people I have discussed with are of the opinion that I am a bad person and nobody seems to understand me.

A friend of mine who reads your column advised me to write you and I will appreciate your advice and those of your readers because she (my friend) also got her problem sorted out through the advice she got from your readers.

Apart from the fact that some people who know about this issue feel that I am bad, some even think it is not a possible scenario. But I am right in the middle of it. Apart from knowing that it is very tight, I also know that, I haven’t done anything to be labeled black.

I am just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I never asked to be born at the time I was born. Things like these are beyond our choice, neither did I enjoy living at the mercy of others.

In a plain language, I am a child of circumstances. I equally believe that, after all that I have passed through; I am entitled to happiness and joy. If God who created me, in His Infinite mercies now decided to bring joy my way, then, why would some people decide that they can dictate my fate and stand in the way of my joy and happiness?

I really cannot talk much about my childhood, because I don’t know much about it. But I will tell you the bit and little my mother told me at her death bed, while I was 12. She told me that she came to Nigeria from Togo through her paternal uncle, who promised her mother (my grandmother) a good future. According to my mother, she was quite young when she was brought into a household in Nigeria as an housemaid. Her benefactors, according to her, were rich and very comfortable and she stayed with them for about three years when the father of the house started making passes and advances at her. She would have told her madam, but because of her harsh nature, she couldn’t. But every time “daddy” sneaked into her room, she would beg him not to do anything with her.

She was, however, not lucky, when one night madam and her two children travelled overseas for holidays, “daddy” raped her and that was the beginning of her sexual slavery to him. When her madam came back from her trip, she was unable to tell her because “daddy” told her not to do so and if she told anybody what had been happening, he would deny it and of course, she knew what that meant for her.

She was, however, able to confide in a fellow housemaid in the neighbourhood who was older, though a citizen of Nigeria. It was this fellow housemaid who advised her to keep the situation from her madam and seize the opportunity to demand money from “daddy” whenever he had sex with her.

Unfortunately, her confidant did not tell her about the fears and complications of unwanted pregnancy and when this happened, she spent almost all the money she got from “daddy” trying to get the pregnancy aborted. Along the line, her madam discovered that she was pregnant and sent her packing without bothering to find out who was responsible or waiting for her uncle who usually came at the end of the year to pick her money. She didn’t know how to trace her uncle or where else to go to. Her “confidant” was the only one available to help her. She also was handicapped and couldn’t do much in the area of keeping her for more than a few days in her master’s place.

Eventually, she (the other housemaid) took her to a woman who she knew through another lady, who promised to help her.

The woman, a Lagos socialite with only one physically-challenged son, took my mother in, gave her shelter and food, till she gave birth to me. She became her maid, although she received no salary; what she got in return was shelter, food and education for me, and later a promise that I would marry her son. A son she then promised my mother would be okay to marry me.

My mother died of cancer when I was 12, her illness and helplessness to her disease made me resolute to become a medical doctor. I had no inclination as to how I was going to go about it, but my mind was made up.

Also at her death bed, “big mummy” that was what I called my mother’s benefactor, promised my mother that, she would make sure that I lacked nothing and that she would take care of me like her own daughter.

She was faithful to her words because she did. She sent me to a good school which made it possible for me to realise my dream of becoming a medical doctor.
All the while, her only son who my mother promised her that I would marry had been sent overseas to study and for treatment. We relate with each other, but like siblings. But unfortunately, big mummy does not mince words to tell anyone who cared to listen that I am her daughter-in-law.

Along the line, I met and fell in love with my boyfriend. (I would like to keep his name away from the press for privacy sake. He also is from a popular family. When I started my relationship with him, big mummy had no objection, but when she saw that my relationship was becoming serious, she began to raise objections. I told her that I was in love with my boyfriend and that he also loved me, big mummy told me that I was joking; she said my husband would soon arrive the country and we would get married.

There is nothing she has not done to distabilise my relationship, but boyfriend stood by me. I also enjoyed the support and encouragement of his mother and siblings.

Recently, big mummy called my boyfriend’s mother and told her all about my life. The fact that I was rejected by my father and how she had to take my mother in as a maid. I don’t really know what she hoped to gain by doing this, because if her intention was to make my boyfriend and his family to hate me, it failed, because when I saw that my relationship was becoming serious, I told him all about myself long before now. The only thing I kept back was the fact that big mummy wanted me to marry her son, I didn’t know then that he told his mother all that I told him. So when big mummy wanted to use this as a weapon against me, my boyfriend’s mother told her in plain language that she was aware of all.

Four weeks ago, big mummy’s son arrived from the USA, we had always related to each other as brother and sister, and our relationship remained cordial. Two days after he came into the country, his mother called the two of us and stated her intentions. She asked us to pick a date for our wedding.

Fortunately, I was not the first person to speak, her son told her to forget it, as he had other plans. He also told her that as terrible as his mother thought his situation is he had found his own wife.

I was happy when this came from her son and I thought it would put a stop to the problem, but instead, big mummy accused me of influencing her son and told me that I would regret this. She asked me to leave her house. I wish I had, because her son threatened to leave too if I left because of this. She left me alone, but it has been one problem after the other. The physical abuse and attack from her and some of her friends I could take, but I am afraid she is beginning to go spiritual. I don’t know how to explain this, but few days ago a very close friend of hers asked me to see her on my way from work. She specifically told me not to inform big mummy that I was coming to see her. When I met her, she asked if it was a must for me to stay on at big mummy’s house. I told her that I would have left but because of her son’s threat that I decided to stay on. She advised that I should sleep with an eye opened and that she would advise that if possible I should avoid meals at home. She said a word was enough for the wise, and she wouldn’t say more.

To my surprise, on this fateful day, my boyfriend’s mother also called and told me that she had a terrible dream concerning me and urged me to be careful.

Please, what do I do? I have a good job, I could move out and get my own accommodation, but for her son who had always been like a brother to me, despite all that is happening, I also love big mummy like my own mother, I don’t want to destroy our relationship. I owe her my life and whatever I am today. But I can’t do what she is asking of me, not because of the fact that her son is physically – challenged, but I don’t love him.

She has also refused to welcome or accept his fiancée, by insisting that her son marries me or no other woman. Please, help me.

Anonymous.

Portia Says Mugabe’s Comments Disrespectful

Published: Thursday September 13, 2012 | 4:20 pm8 Comments

Prime Minister Portia Simpson Miller.
Prime Minister Portia Simpson Miller has responded to the disparaging comments by Zimbabwe’s president Robert Mugabe against Jamaican men calling them unfortunate, misguided and disrespectful.

In a release from Jamaica House a week after Mugabe made the comments, Simpson Miller said the remarks must be dismissed as untrue and disrespectful to the hundreds of thousands of Jamaican men who are excellent fathers, professionals and outstanding citizens.

READ: Don’t be like Jamaicans – Mugabe

“The remarks, regardless of whether they were spoken ‘in jest’ as was stated in yesterday’s edition of the New Zimbabwe Newspaper, were grossly unfortunate, misguided and untrue,” Simpson Miller said.

She continued: “We are confident that the remarks of President Mugabe do not represent the sentiments of the people of Zimbabwe, other African countries, and the rest of the world.”

READ: Mugabe too rude!

The Prime Minister said her confidence is predicated on the fact that there are many outstanding and globally accepted examples of the character and contribution of Jamaican men, who have set the benchmark as exceptional achievers.

Mugabe, on September 5, said Jamaican men were drunkards who were caught up with smoking marijuana and were had therefore deferred leadership to women.

The Zimbabwean president was speaking at the launch of the 2012 Research and Intellectual Institute Expo, in Harare.

[email protected]

More Sharing ServicesShare | Share on facebook Share on myspace Share on google Share on twitter

Asafa Powell here with his neice, the controversial sprinter is said to have not one but two babies on the way. One from popular celebrity host Amita Persaud- Webb and another mysterious unnamed young woman.

A blind self-confessed homosexual who is in custody as a result of his alleged involvement in the lotto scam on Tuesday told the court that he was finding it hard to cope in jail as he was constantly being ridiculed and abused.
Claude Pryce, popularly known as ‘Wendy’, lost his sight in 2009 following a incident in which his lover gouged out his eyes.
The 28-year-old accused, who resides in St Andrew, was arrested on August 8 and charged with conspiracy to defraud after he was allegedly caught collecting nearly $2 million at the Constant Spring Post Office in St Andrew.
On Tuesday, the feeble-looking Pryce — who was making his second appearance in the Corporate Area Resident Magistrate’s Court in relation to the case — begged Magistrate Stephanie Jackson to admit him to bail.
But RM Jackson told him that she could only entertain an application on his next court date on September 27. He was then remanded in custody.
Pryce was arrested at the post office where he allegedly went to collect a Fed Ex package containing US$9,500 and two cheques valued at US$6,000 each.
Police also alleged that they later seized $103,300 from his home.

Read more: http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/news/Blind-gay-says-he-s-finding-it-hard-to-cope-in-jail_12510085#ixzz26PF1DzAQ

US census figures show more than one in five children are living in poverty
2011 data also show decline in household income for second year as presidential candidates debate economic recovery
Share 190

Email
Paul Harris in New York

guardian.co.uk, Wednesday 12 September 2012 11.57 EDT

Food is distributed by a food bank in Deposit, New York. The converted beverage truck delivers fresh produce, dairy products and other grocery items to people in need. Photograph: Spencer Platt/Getty Images
New figures have been released by the US census bureau revealing a yearly decline in median household income for Americans, growing inequality and more than one in five children under 18 years old living in poverty.

In a survey of data for 2011, the census discovered that real median household income in the US had dipped by 1.5% from its level in 2010 to sit at $50,054 a year. The fall is the second consecutive annual drop and comes in the middle of a bitterly contested election in which America’s tepid economic performance has been a central theme.

While President Barack Obama has based his campaign on a claim to have saved America from the brink of financial disaster, Republican challenger Mitt Romney has lambasted the country’s lacklustre economic performance, especially continuing high levels of joblessness.

The figures released by the census also show that little dent has been made on America’s high levels of poverty, with some 15% of the nation – representing around 46.2 million people – living in poverty in 2011. The figures are worse for the very young, where the poverty rate for those under the age of 18 is 21.9% – or some 16.1 million children. These latter figures are roughly unchanged in 2011 from 2010.

However, income inequality in the US has grown. The Gini Index, which measures income inequality, increased by 1.6% to a score of 0.477 in 2011. Though few other countries have yet produced figures for 2011, that number for the US shows a more unequal economy for America than the 2010 figures for countries like Uruguay, Argentina and Bangladesh. Within the figures there was also an increase in the share of aggregate income for the top 20% of Americans of 1.6% and – within that group – the top 5% saw a jump of 4.9%.

Luck ran out on a female member of a robbery gang on Thursday in the capital. She led a team of four robbers in a car to steal from a female passenger.

She was not so lucky to escape as probing eyes watched their robbery operation from a distance and sympathisers swooped on them to rescue the victim.

The lady-robber was the only one apprehended out of the five thieves as she could not escape thinking phonetics would save her while others ran away. She was immediately mobbed and stripped naked.

Inside the ash coloured Nissan Sunny were loads of ATM cards, Passports of various persons, her bag containing many phones.