1. Squeeze your p*nis! Perhaps the most practical tip around, but it makes sense. If you squeeze the p*nis just below the head, you can greatly reduce blood flow, which is the main cause of stimulation. Plus, the head of the p*nis is the most sensitive part in general, so it all kind of works out. Simply squeeze gently for a good 5-30 seconds (however much time you can spare). Just don’t do it in such a way that, well, gets you off.

2. Think disgusting thoughts. Definitely not practical, but hey, it really works for some guys. Look down and imagine you are sticking it in Quasimodo or something. I don’t know, you decide. Anything that makes you want to throw up and is a complete turn-off… go for it.

3. Cause pain to your body. Okay let’s qualify that tip: cause pain to your body somewhere else besides your shlong! For the record, this is also a good way to pass a polygraph test while lying – and for the same reasons. It distracts your brain to focus on the most urgent matter at hand, which is ALWAYS pain. Biting your tongue is usually a favorite strategy, and probably the easiest to perform while under the sheets.

4. Only go tip deep. Recall Vince Vaughn’s monologue in “The Wedding Crashers” … where he proposes playing “a little game called ‘just the tip’ … just for a second!”… yah, you get the point. This takes some practice to find the angle that still feels good to her, but also gives him a small break from the “deeper” action. Anyway, good luck with your experimentation.

5. Go slower sometimes. Seriously. It’s a simple tip, but it’s one that we all forget when the lights go out. You aren’t in a race! Not only do you not always need to be in “deep” but you also don’t always need to go fast. A little change-up in speed never hurt nobody – and in fact, most girls will probably appreciate a little down time. It becomes a bit of a mental game as the minutes tick onward, so show some self-control and work on your pace.

7. Take some sort of break. Some of you might wonder how Fabio can last for 45 minutes in that latest Jenna Jameson video. Well if you cut out the 25 minutes of slap and tickle in the beginning, and factor out the 5 different drugs he took before the shoot, you’ll notice quite a few camera angle changes. This is because the average p*rn video is actually filmed across 3 days of shooting! So stop beating yourself up. Fabio’s other trick is that he takes frequent “breaks” whether it be from changing positions, grabbin’ a BJ here and there, and what not. The point is that if you want to last *super* long, you are going to need some regular breaks.

8. Clear the tubes beforehand. If you don’t want to be a minuteman on a big date, or screw up a romantic night with your woman, then it never hurts to unload your gun before you go out, and it usually helps you last longer later on. There is really no better way to illustrate this point than quoting from “There’s Something About Mary”…

9. Practice flexing your pubococcygeus. This is probably the best kept s*x secret in the entire universe. Both men and women have what are commonly referred to as Kegel muscles, named after Dr. Arnold Kegel. These are the muscles that you squeeze when you are trying to stop peeing mid-stream! It’s nearly impossible for most males, because we never practice flexing them. If you can build up strength and control of these muscles, however, not only can you learn to “hold in” your ej*culation for longer, but you can also have larger ej*culations because you will be able to blast more semen out of your system – and farther. Not only so, but rumor has it that some guys have learned to jack themselves off using only their Kegel muscles. Talk about weird sh*t.

10. If all else fails… drugs. Okay, this is somewhat of a joke as we hope you don’t give up on the above methods. However, if you do finally give in and have tried everything, you might as well give some drugs a go. There are absolutely TONS these days, so do your research first. Some of them merely give you a massive b*ner and might make it harder for you to last longer – who knows. Others are designed specifically for bigger org*sms or for lasting longer, or both, or neither.

Horrific story: Man Convicted of Murder after oral rape killed his child

In one of the most bizarre and horrific stories ever heard a grown man killed his daughter by trying to have oral sex with his infant. As horrible and unbelievable as it sounds the story is true as the man had a condom on when he was putting himself into his 15-week-old daughters mouth.

The condom was discovered to have the baby’s DNA on the outside and the Fathers DNA on the inside. Indicating the death occurred from oral sexual gratification by the father.

Steve Deuman Jr Image from mlive.com
26-year-old Steven Deuman Jr, of Suttons Bay, Michigan, was convicted of first-degree murder and aggravated sexual assault after jurors – who were subjected to disturbing testimony and photos – took less than an hour to convict him.

According to Michigan Live, Assistant U.S. Attorney Phil Green said “This was a very difficult case for anyone to have to hear,” “This is about as heinous as it gets. That’s a tragic reality here. He did do it. A beautiful 15-week-old baby girl lost her life, lost her future, because of his need for sexual gratification.”

The Defense argued that Deuman was a loving father, who wouldn’t harm his own children and that the mobile home was just an accident waiting to happen. Psssh.

Featured Image of baby from from U.S Marshals

Man Convicted of Murder after oral rape killed his child.

http://americanlivewire.com/horrific-story-man-convicted-of-murder-after-oral-rape-killed-his-child/

This woman’s husband was said to have begged the man on the bed to employ his wife so they could have money to feed until he could sort out his financial problems. The man accepted after several pleas.

But unfortunately, because her husband no longer has money the woman started disrespecting him and keeping late nights. Acting on a tip off, the husband and his friends caught her live in the act with her boss.

The worst is that she didn’t even look for a handsome man to sleep with but one who’s “uglier” than her husband.

Since she already has a job, is it right for her to sleep with a man for money?

How do you know if you are called to be a prophet / prophetess?

There is a distinct difference between the manifestation of prophecy and the gift ministry of a prophet / prophetess. The subject of this book is the manifestation of prophecy, but this appendix covers some basics about the gift ministry of a prophet (sometimes referred to as “a called prophet or prophetess”). Many people are familiar with the ministries of apostles, evangelists, pastors, and teachers. However, if we are to have everything that the Lord wants us to have as his Body, we must understand the ministry of the prophet and have prophets functioning in the Church.

What is a Prophet / Prophetess?

In spite of the fact that prophets were vital to God’s purposes in the Old Testament, the need for them today has been called into question because of the presence of the gift of holy spirit in every believer. On the Day of Pentecost, God began to unveil something He had hidden from mankind (and the Devil)—the Administration of God’s Grace (Eph. 3:2). Today, in the Administration of Grace, the Lord Jesus Christ seals with holy spirit every person who gets born again (Eph. 1:13). That means every Christian has the ability to hear from God and prophesy (Acts 2:17 and 18, cp. 1 Cor. 14:5 and 24).

For many people, the immediate reaction to hearing that every Christian can prophesy is to think that prophets are no longer necessary. However, a more detailed study of Scripture (and indeed, the evidence of correct practice in the Church) reveals that is not the case. For example, Ephesians 4:11 says that the Lord has placed prophets in the Church along with the other ministries of apostles, evangelists, pastors, and teachers. Furthermore, there are other verses in the Church Epistles that mention prophets, such as 1 Corinthians 12:28 and Titus 1:12. Acts confirms what the Church Epistles teach, and shows that prophets were active and important in the Church (Acts 11:27, 13:1, 15:32, 21:10). Surely the Lord would not have specifically placed men and women in the Church with the gift ministry of a prophet if they did not perform a distinctly different role than other Christians who were operating the manifestation of prophecy.

In contrast to the manifestation of prophecy every Christian can operate, the gift ministry of a prophet is a specific calling of the Lord on a person’s life. Thus the call to be a prophet is a job assignment, given to someone whether he wants it or not. The Old Testament scriptures make this very clear. Isaiah knew he was called from birth: “…Before I was born the LORD [Yahweh] called me; from my birth he has made mention of my name” (Isa. 49:1b). Amos describes the call of God upon his life: “…I was neither a prophet nor a prophet’s son, but I was a shepherd, and I also took care of sycamore-fig trees. But the LORD [Yahweh] took me from tending the flock and said to me, ‘Go, prophesy to my people Israel’” (Amos 7:14 and 15).

In regard to prophets in the Church, the book of Acts confirms what Ephesians and Corinthians state doctrinally, that the Lord selects and specifically calls some men and women to be prophets. Prophets were important in the establishment of the church at Antioch, the first church recorded that was composed of both Jews and Gentiles (Acts 11:27). It was the prophet Agabus who foretold that there would be a severe famine in the Roman world during the reign of Claudius Caesar (Acts 11:28; this famine is documented in secular Roman history). Prophets were vital in getting the revelation from the Lord to set apart Paul and Barnabas and send them on their first missionary journey (Acts 13:1-4). The prophets Judas and Silas are specifically mentioned as exhorting and confirming the disciples in Antioch (Acts 15:32-KJV). It was Agabus the prophet who so graphically portrayed what would happen to Paul in Jerusalem (Acts 21:10 and 11). In fact, the only foretelling in Acts is given either by prophets or by the apostles Peter and Paul. [1]

The book of Acts and the Church Epistles show clearly that the Lord still works through called prophets. They are not “just another believer because every Christian can prophesy,” as some have stated. Evangelists still exist in the Church even though every Christian can share his faith, there are still pastors even though every Christian can help people who are hurting, and there are still prophets in the Church even though every Christian can manifest prophecy. Prophets are charged with being spokesmen for God just as they were in the Old Testament, and today they speak also for the Lord Jesus Christ. Once we understand that the ministry of a prophet is the Lord’s doing, and that they are very important to the health and wellbeing of the Church, we should be very interested in recognizing who they are and what we can do to help them in their job of being spokesmen so we can have the word of the Lord among us in a more powerful way.

Now that we know the difference between the manifestation of prophecy and the ministry of a prophet, we need to understand how that difference plays out in the Church. All prophecy, whether from a Christian operating the manifestation of prophecy, or from a called prophet, will be as the Spirit gives utterance (Acts 2:4-KJV). All true words of prophecy come from God or the Lord Jesus Christ, never from the speaker’s mind. In the case of the manifestation of prophecy, the Lord limits himself to giving words of “…strengthening, encouragement, and comfort” (1 Cor. 14:3). [2] However, that is not the case with the ministry of a prophet. Called prophets speak the message the Lord gives them, whatever it may be. Both the manifestation of prophecy and the ministry of a prophet are used by the Lord in the Church today (Eph. 4:11).

To understand how prophets operate in the Church, we must understand how they functioned in the Old Testament. The various Greek and Hebrew words that are translated “prophet” or “seer” help a lot in understanding both what a prophet is and how God works with them. By far the most common word translated “prophet” in the Old Testament is nabiy, which means “spokesman.” First and foremost, the prophet is a “spokesman” for God. The prophet must be able to hear the voice of God and bring God’s words to the world.

Soon after Adam and Eve were driven from the Garden, God stopped talking openly to people and chose specific individuals through whom He would communicate to mankind. Thus, by the first time the word “prophet” is used in the Bible, which was in the days of Abraham (Gen. 20:7, about 2,000 years after Adam), what a prophet did was no mystery to people. When God spoke in a dream to Abimelech king of Gerar and identified Abraham as a prophet, Abimelech did not say, “Hey God, what is a ‘prophet’?” He knew exactly what a prophet was—a person who could hear the voice of God and communicate it to others.

The Greek word translated “prophet,” prophetes, also shows that prophets are God’s (or “the god’s”) chosen spokesmen. The noun prophetes is found in Greek writings as early as the 600’s B.C., and it is related to the verb meaning to publicly speak forth or make known. The oldest occurrence we have today relates to a prophetic utterance at the oracle of Zeus at Dodona. Thus, ancient Greek language and culture confirms what the Hebrew language communicates: that even ancient pagan people realized that the words of the gods needed to be spoken forth and made known, and furthermore that the gods chose certain people through whom they spoke. [3] The New Testament use of prophetes, or prophet, is in line with that and means “One who, moved by the Spirit of God and hence his…spokesman, solemnly declares to men what he has received…” [4]

Because the prophet speaks the message that God gives him to speak, it can be as varied as God wants it to be. This is an important point, because often people try to “put God in a box” and decide what a prophetic message would look like, as if we could tell God what to say. It is beyond the scope of this appendix to categorize every type of message that prophets bring forth, but a short list will show some of the variation that occurs in the Bible. In some categories there are many examples, but a few will suffice.

Prophets:

Tell what will happen in the future: 1 Samuel 10:1-6; Isaiah 52:13-53:12; Matthew 24:2; Acts 11:28, 21:11
Speak of past events: Judges 6:7-10; 2 Samuel 12:7 and 8; Ezekiel 20:1-31; John 4:18.
Strengthen (“edification” KJV): 2 Samuel 7:8-12; Haggai 2:1-5
Exhort: 2 Chronicles 15:1-7; Isaiah 35:1-4; Haggai 1:3-12
Comfort: 1 Samuel 9:20; 2 Chronicles 20:15-17; Jeremiah 45:1-5
Bless: Genesis 48:20; Deuteronomy 33:1; Joshua 14:13
Curse: Joshua 8:26, 9:22 and 23; 2 Kings 2:24; Jeremiah 48:10
Call out kings and ministries: 1 Samuel 10:1, 16:13; 1 Kings 11:29-39, 19:15-19; 2 Kings 9:1-13
Reprove (sometimes harshly): 2 Samuel 12:1-14; Isaiah 22:15-25; Jeremiah 36:30 and 31; Malachi 2:3; Matthew 16:23, 23:12-36
Foretell death or disaster: 1 Samuel 2:27-36; 1 Kings 13:20-24, 22:17-37; Jeremiah 28:16, 29:21; Amos 7:14-17
Direct: Judges 4:4-6; 2 Kings 4:1-7, 5:10, 6:8-10; Jeremiah 32:13-15
Name (showing God’s opinion): 2 Samuel 12:25; Jeremiah 20:3
Reveal character and what is in a person’s heart: Isaiah 9:9 and 17, 29:13, 48:4; Jeremiah 2:21, 5:23; Ezekiel 14:2-4; John 1:47
Interpret enigmas: Daniel 5:5-29
Reveal what is going on from a spiritual perspective: 1 Chronicles 5:20; Jeremiah 1:16; Ezekiel 5:11; Daniel 9:11; John 8:42-47

Furthermore, prophets:

Can have messages for individuals: 1 Samuel 10:1-6, for groups: 2 Kings 3:12-19, or for entire nations: Amos 1:11-2:16
Have given prophecies to people about a third party: 1 Kings 14:7; 2 Kings 1:3
May deliver the message themselves, or through others: 2 Kings 5:10, 9:1
May interpret other people’s dreams: Genesis 40:8-22, 41:15-28; Daniel 2:1-45, 4:4-37 (or their own as in Daniel 7)
Might not get a revelation about a situation immediately: Jeremiah 28:5-17 (especially verse 11), 42:7
May be called upon by God to act out their prophetic message: Jeremiah 19:1-13, 27:2, 43:8-13; Ezekiel 4:1-3, 9-17, 5:1-4, 12:1-11; Hosea 1:2; Acts 21:11
May get revelation they do not understand: Numbers 12:6-8; Daniel 12:8; Zechariah 1:8 and 9

PLEASE CONFIRM!