10 biggest problems in a LOVE relationship and how to FIX THEM

Relationships are one of the first things that all of us take for granted.

We don’t want to take it for granted.

But yet, we forget how much something really matters to us when we don’t stand to lose it.
And it usually takes losing something to realize its importance and value.

Wondering what the big problems in a relationship are, and what you can do to overcome it?

Problems in a relationship
Depending on the kind of relationship you share with your partner, the problems in a relationship too could be just as unique.

But almost always, all problems in a relationship find their place in ten big areas.

At some point or the other, these problems have a way of creeping into your romance.
Keep an eye on these issues, and understand how to overcome it, and you’ll see how easy it can be to eliminate all the frustrations you experience in a relationship.

10 big problems that need your attention
Remember this, you can’t stop problems from cropping up in a relationship no matter how perfect the relationship is. What you can do instead, is eliminate the frustration as soon as you notice them.

1. Lack of communication. At the start of the relationship, conversations are exciting and fun. Both of you spend a lot of time getting to know each other. But as time goes by, lovers forget to ask the same questions again.

We’re all changing all the time, in our preferences and the way we look at life. Don’t assume you know everything about each other or your romance will start to stagnate, or one of you will start to confide in some other person who seems more understanding.

2 .Trust. Do you really trust your partner? There are two kinds of trust in a relationship. Firstly, do you trust your partner enough to feel comfortable with them going out for dinner with someone else? If you don’t, perhaps, you’re insecure or your relationship is still too fragile.

And secondly, do you trust your partner’s decisions? Do you think your partner is capable of making important decisions for the both of you? If you can’t trust your partner with life altering decisions, it’s obvious that you don’t respect your partner or their opinions. And that’s never a good sign in a long term relationship.

3 .Jealousy and insecurity. Insecure couples are forever locked in a cycle of jealously and anger. When you feel jealous about the attention your lover’s getting or their recent promotion, you’re not helping them become a better individual. It’s like a parent who’s angry with their child because the child is having “too much fun”.

You need to learn to have faith in each other and in the relationship. Instead of letting negativity build inside the relationship, learn to enjoy each other’s successes. After all, your partner is your better half, and any accomplishments of theirs are your accomplishments too, isn’t it?

4. Incompatibility in love. Love at first sight and infatuation can last several months. And it does a good job of masking any differences in a relationship. As perfect as two people may be, sometimes, they may just not be perfect for each other.

If you find yourself dating someone with whom you have nothing in common, you need to decide on the next step. Try to find common interests that both of you like, or walk your own paths instead of living in frustrations.

5. Loss of sex drive. This isn’t rocket science. Over time, both of you are bound to lose the sexual urge of the first few months or years of a relationship. While both of you may have a hard time keeping your hands off each other to begin with, now sex may start to feel like a chore.

This is a very common problem in relationships, and yet, it’s one of the easy ones to solve. Always look for new ways to recreate the sexual high of the first few times, and before you know it, both of you may go at it all over again like frisky bunnies

6. Ka ching! Anyone in a relationship for long enough will know just how important money or the lack of it really is. If your friends earn a lot more than you or your partner, it’ll end up frustrating both of you. And on the other hand, if both of you earn a lot more than your friends, there’ll be a lot of love and happiness in your lives.

It’s a stupid fact of life. But our own happiness is extremely dependent on the way others perceive us. If you’re having difficulties in your relationship because of money, perhaps it’s time to change your friends and see the difference.

7. Change in priorities. You may be in a relationship, but that doesn’t change who you are. And that’s where the problem starts. As individuals, we evolve and change all the time. You’re not the person you were last year, and you won’t be the person you are now next year.

And just like you, your partner too is changing constantly. And every now and then, you and your partner may experience changes that will pull both of you apart from each other. And soon enough, both of you may have nothing in common. Spend enough time with each other and try to evolve together in a similar direction. Talk about your beliefs and your interests with each other and it’ll help both of you grow together along the same path.

8 Time. Do both of you have enough time to spend with each other? These days, time is a luxury that most lovers can’t afford. When you start spending too much time away from each other, it’s only a matter of time before one of you starts asking the big question, “Do I need my partner in my life anymore?”

Don’t drift away so far that both of you don’t need to be with each other anymore. Find ways to indulge in exciting hobbies or spend evenings going out on little coffee or ice cream dates. They make for great conversations and it’ll bring both of you closer too.

9 .Space and individual growth. Now this is contradictory to the earlier problem in relationships. But it’s still something to watch out for. Too much of a good thing can turn out to be bad too. When you’re in a relationship, spending time with each other is very important. But at the same time, spending time away from each other is crucial too.

By spending too much time together, you’d subconsciously feel isolated from the rest of the world. And when that happens, you’d crave for any attention from other interesting people just to feel better about yourself and your ability to communicate. And you know what could happen when that happens, right

10. Are you still in love? This is the biggest problem in a relationship, and one that’s hardest to overcome. Falling in love is easy. Staying in love isn’t. Love is a delicate balance between dependency and passion. How much do you need your partner? How much do you love and want your partner?

When the sexual excitement and the enthusiasm fade away, what do you have to hold both of you together? A relationship should never be based on sex alone. It needs compatibility and understanding, and it definitely needs dependability. Staying in love forever is not easy, but with a little effort, it can give meaning to your life..

Love punky

Why most SINGLE guys don’t want to get MARRIED

Most single guys are reluctant to settle down due to a lot of reasons. some of which I shall break down…

1. Freedom: Most guys feel that once they get married, they wont have the freedom to mingle with other girls. since their wives will always be monitoring them or be with them most of the time. and any attempt they make to flirt or have a harmless chat with a girl will always be frown at or misinterpreted by their spouse.

2. Makes Life Boring: To some, life could become boring once they get married. since they are bound to change their lifestyle because of their wife or new status. whether they like it or not, their lifestyle would change. it could be due to economic reasons (since he’s now a family man) or his wife is not the going out type. the man would be turned into an indoor man outrightly. cos any move he makes to go out alone on weekends, could be seen by his wife as an opportunity to cheat on her. and as a result his social life becomes zero.

3. More Responsibilities: As a single man, he can afford to live on his small salary or manage his finances well. but with the coming of a wife and the kids later, this is bound to make him think twice before venturing into marriage. he knows his pay check is nothing to write home about, he’s not from a rich family that could support him, or has any other business venture to use in sustaining his family, he might be discourage from getting married until he’s comfortable enough.

4. Fear: Some guys are simply afraid to take the plunge. they feel they are not ready yet or equipped to be a married man/father.they’re not ready to have kids or have some kind of responsibilities thrown at them by a woman/kids. they don’t want to change or have someone come into their life and make them adjust their life for her sake. they want to hang out with friends at the bar, watch soccer matches with their pals, leave their clothes anywhere they like, come home any time they like, date as many girls as they want. they want to be flexible. they feel marriage makes a man rigid and less exciting. though some may claim marriage makes a man responsible. but there’re guys who feel marriage takes the excitement out of life. being single to them is more exciting than being married. and as a result, they prefer to linger in it for as long as they want.

5. Greed: surprisingly we also have guys who are reluctant to settle down as a result of greed. they feel the woman is only coming to eat their money and food. they see women generally as a burden. and are not ready to take such burden. this category of guys are those ones that are stingy to their girlfriends. they hid their money from their girlfriends or pretend as if they don’t have. they only give a girl money whenever they want to sleep with her. these ones patronize Love Peddlers a lot. they enjoy being single and living alone. They simply don’t want to share their comfort/money with any woman.

These are some of the reasons I know of. But if you know of any other one, feel free to add it to the ones I’ve mentioned.

Submitted by Jane Dada

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Preaching on buses and freedom of speech

The recent announcement that preaching is banned on buses operated by the government-owned Jamaica Urban Transit Company (JUTC), has sparked condemnation from some people whereas others are praising the move.

Some see the ban as a breach of their constitutional rights and are calling for it to be lifted.

However, passengers say they have a right to peace and quiet, and should not be subjected to people singing and preaching over their heads.

A Christian who attend church on a regular basis said there was no need for preachers to be disturbing passengers on the buses.

”The churches have crusades and street meetings regularly and, in addition to that, people from the churches go from door to door witnessing to people, so I don’t see the need for the big uproar because preaching is banned on the buses,” he said.

The man’s wife was not happy with his views and said she was surprised to hear him agreeing with the ban.

”How can you be talking like that? People should be free to preach anywhere because it is not anything bad they are doing. They are just preaching God’s word,” the wife remarked.

”There are rules and regulations that people must obey and it is not that the Government is banning people from preaching or witnessing to others, people are just being asked not to disturb the passengers,” the husband replied.

shouting and making noise

He went on further to point out to his wife that, at times, people are not feeling well or are going home from work, feeling very tired, and the last thing they want to hear is someone shouting and making noise on the buses.

”Then some of the preachers have the habit of going around begging money from the passengers after they have finished preaching. Sometimes I don’t think they are genuine Christians,” the husband added.

A bus driver last week said he was happy with the ban because some of the preachers don’t even understand what they are preaching about.

”Sometimes two or three preachers clash on the buses as they try to outdo one another,” the bus driver said.

”The preaching can be distracting to us, bus drivers, at times because sometimes the preachers and the passengers engage in arguments and, at times, get in near fist fights,” he added.

”There is a time and place for everything and I don’t think the buses should be the place for preaching, loud music or any form of noise or disturbance, ” the bus driver said.

The Charter of Rights enshrined in the Constitution of Jamaica guarantees freedom of expression, freedom of association and freedom of religion.

A lawyer who was asked to comment on the issue said although the Constitution guarantees freedom of religion, it also states that all persons are under a responsibility to uphold the rights of others. Therefore, it was his view that religion should not be forced on people travelling on a public passenger vehicle.

”There are persons who are planning to take the issue to court and it will be very interesting to see how the court rules on the recent ban of preachers on the JUTC buses,” the lawyer said.

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Mrs, Abosede Ademola pleaded with a Lagos Grade ‘A’ Customary Court, sitting in Agege to dissolve her nine-year-old marriage on the grounds of being stripped naked by her husband, Azeez, who also tied her like a ram.

The 35-year-old woman, who resides at 7, Community Street, Adiyan, Lagos, pleaded that the court grants her custody of the children.

She alleged that her husband frequently flogged her mercilessly at the slight excuse and did not respect her family. “My husband drinks to stupor, moves with bad company, leaves home in the morning and comes back late in the night.

“As if that was not enough, whenever he wanted to beat me, he would strip me naked and tie my hands like the Sallah ram to be slaughtered,” she said.

She also accused Azeez of infidelity, saying she wanted the custody of her children so that her suffering in his house would not be in vain. Azeez, a car dealer, however denied the allegations. According to him, Abosede failed to submit herself to him and would nottake care of the children.

He alleged that his wife always went out whenever she liked and returned when she pleased, adding that his wife left the house in the morning on Sallah day without cooking, and he was the one that cooked for the children.

“My father died and my wife did not show any concern nor went to my family oncondolence visit. She would not give me food or take care of the children. If I continue with her, I might kill her; so I want the court to dissolve the marriage,”he said.

The court president, Mr Emmanuel Shokunle, adjourned the case till November 29, for further hearing.