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WTF AFRICA – COUPLE KILLED WHILE DOING IT ON BUSY HIGHWAY

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Couple killed by bus while having S3X along a busy highway (PICTURED)

Two love birds died while playing the ‘Adam and Eve’ game after the vehicle they had turned into a bedroom was sideswiped by a bus near Kwekwe.

Police confirmed the accident but could not say whether the two were having Sêx or not. However, a source who called our news crew, said it was suspected that the two were having Sêx when the Lord decided to take their souls to heaven!

“Have you heard about two people who died while in the act? I can tell you everything if you call me later,” said the seemingly well informed source who spoke on condition of anonymity.

On Friday last week, at around 4am, the 20-year-old man, only identified as Tatenda and his girlfriend whose name could not be published before the next of kin was notified of the death, were driving towards Kwekwe from Harare.

The two, according to the source, pulled over and parked their vehicle, a Nissan Vanette, at a curve at the 185km peg and decided to rehearse the baby-making game. While enjoying ‘sausage gymnastics’, the source said, a Zupco bus which was going the opposite direction sideswiped the vehicle leaving the right side of the Nissan ripped off.

The two were thrown out of the car, landed on the tarmac and died on the spot. The driverof the bus, Bonface Ncube (35) sustained minor injuries.
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GRANITE’S LAST COUSIN

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HOPE IN THE CLOUDS- GOODMORNING

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Hope in the Clouds
by Cara Hanson

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1 Thessalonians 4:16 and 17
(16) For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.
(17) After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.

For Christians, the Rapture of the Church will be dramatic and unmistakable. To keep The Hope alive in our hearts, we should take the time to visualize this impending event. Our reality stems from the Word of God, as The Rapture will not be a Hollywood production with Frankie Avalon singing a “Rapture theme song” as he descends a spiral staircase. Jesus doesn’t need props; he will shout with an authoritative voice and raise dead Christians up from the grave. God’s choice of an accompanying instrument is the trumpet, not the pan flute, so that should get everyone’s attention. Surely it will sound skilled and professional, unlike the tentative squawks and squeaks of a novice grade school band. This unimaginable moment will be followed by the gathering of Christians in the clouds when Christians who are alive on earth are taken into the air and are instantly given new bodies.

I have often flown through the clouds in a plane, but I have rarely imagined what it would be like to be in them with my Lord and other Christians from all times. Having inquisitive young children has made me delve further into this concept. Will we be able to walk in the clouds, and if so, will there be an adjustment period, during which we stumble around until we get our “cloud legs”? Will there be a meet-and-greet, where we get to see Paul, Peter, John, and other venerable saints? How long until we get to talk to Jesus face to face? Will former airport employees be with him, instructing us to “stay behind the yellow line”? How will we find a voice to speak when we fall on our knees before our Lord?

The timing of the Lord’s return will be according to God’s plan, and it will happen like a “thief in the night” (1 Thess. 5:2). How often do we look up at the clouds in expectation that our Lord could return at any given moment? When we peer out of our rain-splashed windows, do we wait with eagerness for his possible arrival? Most of the time, clouds are simply a reminder to us that we’d better bring along a raincoat or umbrella. The kids and I sometimes play the “Clouds” game while lying in the grass on a breezy summer afternoon. If the clouds are billowy, their shapes might remind us of a majestic castle or a cottontail rabbit. So far, no one has said, “That one looks like Jesus–could this be him?”

Early one Easter morning when our daughter was three, Dave entered her bedroom and heralded some joyful news: “Jesus is risen!” he announced. Grace, who usually greeted the dawn with the speed of a snail crossing an interstate highway in a blizzard, leaped out of bed with excitement. “Is he in the living room?” she asked breathlessly. Before Dave could explain, she bolted out of her room, barreled down the hallway, and stopped abruptly when she didn’t find our Lord sipping orange juice at the breakfast table. The Hope of Christ’s return was alive and well in our young child.

The return of our Lord is so prevalent in Grace’s mind that she actually makes plans for the event. The self-appointed Cruise Director of the Kingdom, she is already making comments such as, “When Jesus comes back, I’m going to dance with him forever!” As she demonstrated the dancing for me, I watched with awe as she freely and joyfully pirouetted around the living room. Yes, I realized, he probably will dance with us, and it won’t be the Hokey Pokey or the Chicken Dance. Grace’s Paradise is one in which Jesus spends one-on-one time with her, engaging in all of her favorite activities: playing with dolls, practicing ballet, and jumping on a King-size bed. What would The Hope be, if it wasn’t something that we could eagerly anticipate?

All of this Hope-building did have a down side one afternoon, when Dave decided to distract our kids from their contest entitled, “Who Can Whine the Loudest?” He pointed outside and gasped dramatically, “Look who’s out on our deck? Could it be? Is it…is it JESUS?!!!!!!” Admittedly, this announcement did distract them for a nanosecond, but the whining was quickly replaced by blood-curdling shrieking as Grace dropped what she was doing and ran for the hills. She was frightened beyond words at the thought that the time had come and our Lord was at the door! After the neighborhood dogs finally stopped howling at her high-pitched squeals, Dave realized that his ruse did not exactly bring the desired effect. We had a good laugh, but the whole episode made me question how prepared we really are for our Lord’s return.

What if we lived every moment as if Jesus was going to return in that instant? I certainly wouldn’t want it to happen during an awkward or embarrassing situation. (Oh, Hi, Jesus! I was just, uh…um…thanking that driver for cutting me off so abruptly. Yes, I know, that was a rather unusual way to show my gratitude, but…uh…) God was wise not to give us a clue as to the timing of Christ’s arrival. Imagine if God left a gigantic clock in the sky that showed a countdown until the return of Jesus. Wouldn’t our behavior change according to how much time we thought we had left? Students never study for their finals at the beginning of the year, but they sure are cramming on the night before exams! Not knowing the time of Jesus’ return forces us to stay alert and vigilant at all times.

1 Thessalonians 5:4-6
(4) But you, brothers, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief.
(5) You are all sons of the light and sons of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness.
(6) So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled.

Jesus advised his disciples to “keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour” (Matt. 25:13). Even Jesus did not know the time of his return, probably so that he wouldn’t have to endure his disciples begging for hints. If we all knew the exact time and date of his return, our lives would cease to run on hope and faith. All of our focus would be aimed toward the final event, and we might lose sight of the present.

When our kids know that a holiday or birthday is coming soon, they lose focus on the day to day activities and concentrate on the future special event. As soon as Thanksgiving comes to a close, they are counting down to Christmas. God, knowing that we are all kids at heart, lovingly concealed the time of Christ’s return so that we can focus on our daily walk.

2 Peter 3:10-12a and 14
(10) But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare.
(11) Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives
(12a) as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming…
(14) So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him.

Until our Lord’s return, we are to look forward to his arrival and dedicate our lives to holiness, love, and service. While we are waiting for Jesus, we should do what he asked us to do. He rebuked the people because they called him “Lord” but did not do what he said (Luke 6:46). His life instructions can be found in The Bible, an effective training manual that contains everything we need for life and godliness (2 Pet. 1:3), unlike today’s useless manuals that lead us to assemble a bicycle in ten hours, only to find two extra screws and an upside-down seat. Jesus wants us to eagerly anticipate his return without falling asleep on the job. He rebuked his disciples when they couldn’t stay awake for an hour during his time of distress. He exhorted, “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak” (Matt. 26:41).

God understands our weaknesses, and He lovingly gave us The Hope of our Lord’s return as an “anchor for the soul” (Heb. 6:19). No matter what trials we are experiencing, we can respond with, “But, Jesus is coming back!” Every day that passes brings us one day closer to the return of our Lord. If only we watched for Jesus with the same zeal with which we watch the weather forecast. Wouldn’t it be something if one day the forecast was cloudy with a chance of Rapture?

The Apostle Paul believed that he would still be alive when Christ returned. He wrote as though he was definitely planning on having a front row seat for the event.

1 Thessalonians 4:17
After that, WE who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so WE will be with the Lord forever.

We are not expected to walk around looking up at the clouds in constant anticipation of the arrival of Jesus. For one thing, we would all have stiff necks, and people would be bumping into walls and having all sorts of accidents. But are we planning for the event of his return? If he shows up today, will I shriek in surprise or treat him as a welcome guest whom I have been eagerly expecting? When I look up on a cloudy day, I don’t want to think of impending rain. I pray that my heart will reflect the beautiful verse at the end of the Bible, “Even so, come, Lord Jesus” (Rev. 22:20 KJV), for there is hope in the clouds.

WOMEN CAUGHT WEARING COCAINE DIAPER

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Two women, Prisicilla Pena and Michelle Blassingdale were recently caught trying to smuggle cocaine through JFK airport. It is said that they tried to smuggle in total 6.5 kg of the illegal narcotic.
Both women departed a flight coming from the Dominican Republic when bomb sniffing dogs alerted officials toward Pena’s midsection. Officials declared that upon searching Pena’s luggage, there was no evidence of drugs but the woman appeared to be nervous and during a pat down , the cocaine wrap was discovered.
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It was Pena who revealed to officials that she was travelling with Blassingdale , who was then searched. As of up to yesterday, Pena was released on $150,000.00 bond while Blassingdale was held in custody.

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IT WILL NOT END..ANOTHER SCHOOL SHOOTING

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Student hospitalized after shooting at Atlanta middle school
Published January 31, 2013
FoxNews.com

Authorities say a 14-year-old student was hospitalized Thursday after being shot in the head at an Atlanta middle school.
Authorities say the student was shot outside of a building at Price Middle School.
WAGA reports the student was alert and conscious before being taken to the hospital. Atlanta Fire Capt. Marian McDaniel says the student was taken to Grady Hospital.
McDaniel says a teacher suffered minor cuts and bruises but was treated on the scene.
Police say a suspect, tentatively identified as a male student, has been taken into custody.
The school was placed on lockdown, but authorities say all remaining students are safe. Price Middle School is located south of Atlanta.
Shakita Walker, whose daughter is an eighth-grader at the school, said she received a text from her that said “Ma, somebody’s shooting and somebody got shot.” Walker, who works at another school, said she jumped in her car and was thinking “just hurry up and get there.”
Walker said her daughter called to tell her that they were being kept in the gymnasium, but she said she was anxious to see her to make sure she was OK.
The fear and anxiety was palpable in the crowd, as one person yelled “Does anyone know what happened?”
Laquanda Pittman said she still hasn’t heard from her sixth-grade son. She said she heard the news of the shooting on TV and immediately came to the school.
“All types of stuff went through my head. I’m wondering whether it was my child who got shot, is my child OK, did he see what happened?” Pittman said.
She said she just wants to see her son.
“As a parent, you just think you can send your child to school and you hope they come home OK,” she said.
The Associated Press contributed to this report.
Click for more from MyFoxAtlanta.com.

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/01/31/school-officials-confirm-shooting-at-atlanta-middle-school/#ixzz2JasJBH1I

JAMAICA GETS MORE AND MORE WICKED

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14-y-o girl, constable, businessman brutally murdered
Bloody Day!
BY KIMMO MATTHEWS Observer staff reporter matthewsk@jamaicaobserver
Thursday, January 31, 2013

THE gruesome discovery of the body of a 14-year-old girl wrapped in a sheet on the side of a road in Kingston 11; the killing of a special constable by gunmen dressed in police garb along Grange Lange in St Catherine; and the brazen attack on a businessman in the upper St Andrew community of Temple Hall kept detectives in the Corporate Area and St Catherine busy between late Tuesday and yesterday morning.
The slender, badly bruised body of Shariefa Saddler, who hailed from Joshua Edwards Avenue in Olympic Gardens, was dumped on Lothiam Avenue — which is in close proximity to where she lived — by men in a motor car shortly after 11:00 am.

Crime scene detectives inspect the body of 14-year-old Shariefa Saddler, which was found wrapped in a sheet on the side of the road on Lothiam Avenue, Kingston 11, yesterday. (Joseph Wellington)

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The teen is believed to have been abducted while on her way to classes at the Haile Selassie High School earlier in the morning. The body was still clad in the Haile Selassie uniform she had left home in with a men’s tie knotted around her neck.
“Ah pass people a pass on the road this morning and seh dem see a car drive up in the area and dump the body [wrapped] in a sheet,” one woman said.
Speculation that Shariefa may have been raped remains unsupported by the cops who say it’s too early to tell.
“Police are waiting on [the results of the] post-mortem before they disclose additional details in the case,” said one policeman on the scene.
The police also could not say what was the motive for the killing.
“We are still trying to gather information in the case and are also trying to establish a motive,” Senior Superintendent Delroy Hewitt told the Jamaica Observer.
Superintendent Hewitt was accompanied to the area by several senior officers, including Assistant Commissioner of Police George Quallo.
The police search of the area led to the discovery of a bag belonging to the girl in a nearby gully, some metres away from where her body was found lying face down.
The killing and the dumping of the body in broad daylight left residents in shock.
“How man can be so cold? As a mother, to see how the criminals deal with the little girl it makes you afraid to send your child on the road,” one woman said, as she and others argued that the child’s killers, when found, should be subjected to jungle justice.
Shariefa’s killing happened hours after Special Constable Duan Peart died from multiple gunshot wounds sustained while on his way to his home in Portmore, St Catherine.
His attackers were said to have been dressed in uniforms similar to those worn by members of the Jamaica Constabulary Force.
He became the second member of the Island Special Constabulary Force (ISCF) to have died at the hands of gunmen in a week.
Peart’s killing has been condemned by Police Commissioner Owen Ellington and ISCF Commandant James Golding.
“It has now become abundantly clear to all that the criminals among us will murder, shoot at, and confront the police in order to perpetrate their life of crime,” said Ellington in a release yesterday.
“The police will not be deterred or moved and will continue to lawfully respond to all threats against our personnel. As such, I urge all members to conduct their duties with extreme caution and care,” continued the commissioner, describing Peart’s murder as inhumane, heartless and vicious.
Golding, meanwhile, said ISCF members remained “committed to the cause of policing in a professional manner, despite this unprecedented attack on ISCF members by lawless gunmen”.
The St Andrew North Police said yesterday that they were following several leads in the murder of businessman Fabian Latibeaudiere, who was peppered with gunmen’s bullets as he tried to enter his Toyota Prado motor vehicle in the rural St Andrew community of Temple Hall early Wednesday morning. The incident triggered shock and fear among residents in the area.
“Reports we have received are that the businessman, Fabian Latibeaudiere, was at a house when he was approached by gunmen who opened fire, hitting him several times,” said a police source.
Police reports were that the gunmen then fled the scene by car and Latibeaudiere was rushed to the Medical Associates Hospital in St Andrew where he was pronounced dead.
The cops could not confirm claims that a firearm and a large sum of cash were stolen from the victim.
Latibeaudiere’s son, Jamoy, fought hard to hide his pain as he spoke with the Observer.
“The last time I saw him was yesterday, but I never got the chance to say anything to him,” said the teenager.
Others, who streamed to the scene, spoke of his kindness.
“That man was a good man. He was a person who provided employment to more than 20 people. Mi still cannot believe it,” said one man as he and others talked among themselves in the community.

SADNESS

Four-year-old killed in Allman Town
Thursday, January 31, 2013 | 10:05 AM

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KINGSTON, Jamaica — A five-year-old boy was killed by gunmen in Allman Town this morning.
The child has been identified as Ricardo Burford.

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Reports are that the child was shot dead about 7:30 am.
More details to come.
— Kimmo Matthews

Read more: http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/news/Four-year-old-killed-in-Allman-Town#ixzz2JZxGSzrx

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