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ROCKED IT?

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SIMBA

WEDDING WITHOUT A CHAPEL

MET FROM I WAS BAWN, I NEVA SEE NUTTEN SO YET. MI SEE DAH GYAL INNA 2 PARTY AND DI 2 TIME DEM SHE INNA WEDDING FROCK? A WHA?? A PROMOTE , SHE PROMOTE HAR LINE, WEDDING FROCK INA DANCE, REALLY?? DI 1ST PARTY WAS AT SEXY SHAUNA BIRTHNIGHT BASH AND DI 2ND ONE A FYAH LINKS DANCE SATDAY

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DUTTY BWOY HARLEM SHAKE

PATIENT DIES AFTER NURSE REFUSES TO PERFORM CPR

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. – A county official says a dispatcher followed general protocols when she pleaded with an independent living facility nurse to perform CPR on a woman who later died in California.

The statement came Monday after the facility defended the nurse, saying she also had followed policy.

Kern County Fire Department spokesman Sean Collins says dispatcher Tracey Halvorson had more passion in her voice than normal during the call because she thought she was talking with a registered nurse who was refusing to save the woman’s life.

At the beginning of the Tuesday morning call aired by several media outlets on Sunday, the nurse asked for paramedics to come and help the 87-year-old woman who had collapsed in the facility and was barely breathing.

The woman was later declared dead at Mercy Southwest Hospital.

Collins says Halvorson is an experienced dispatcher and has worked for the county center for at least a decade.

MINERS FIRED OVER HARLEM SHAKE

Miners Fired Over ‘Harlem Shake’ Video & Other Job-Killing Memes
by Kevin Fallon Mar 4, 2013 4:51 PM EST
Axed for doing the “Harlem Shake.” Fired over “Gangnam Style.” Some memes, it turns out, are NSFW.
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When does a meme officially jump the shark and reach its expiration date? Is it when your parents catch on to it? Not quite. When it’s featured on an episode of Glee? Almost. More recently, it seems that the warning siren that it’s time for a meme to end is when well-meaning partakers lose their jobs over it.

According to the Associated Press, there are now 15 unfortunate miners in Australia who will be forced to tell future employers that they were once fired for doing the “Harlem Shake.” The “Harlem Shake,” of course is the ubiquitous smash by DJ and music producer Baauer, which took off thanks to the do-it-yourself popularity of the spate of videos it inspired. As seen in versions created by airline passengers, the Miami Heat, and countless web-savvy YouTube users around the world, the “Harlem Shake” finds one person, usually disguised in a strange mask, bopping to music while those surrounding him ignore him. Then, “the beat drops,” the camera shot cuts, and dozens of people crowd the frame dancing like lunatics.
As the meme skyrocketed in popularity, fans continually upped the ante, challenging themselves to “Harlem Shake” in increasingly unusual places. Up there with the wildest “Shake” locales is the Agnew Gold Mine in Australia, where eight men donning hard hats and safety gear performed their own version of the spastic dance last week. However, the miners’ bosses didn’t think the video was all in good fun, as the performers and at least seven employee spectators were sacked, as the stunt was deemed a safety hazard and a breach of the mine’s “core values of safety, integrity and excellence.”
Sure, memes can get annoying. But ruin livelihoods? It’s not the first time.

In September, 14 lifeguards at a city pool in El Monte, Calif., were fired after creating their own version of Psy’s “Gangnam Style,” titled “Lifeguard Style.” The gauntlet to the group’s jobs inspired enough outrage to turn the lifeguards into something of folk heroes—many were college students using their income to pay for tuition—and after much debate they were rehired a month later.

Dancing isn’t the only viral act that’s lost people their jobs. A Starbucks barista was fired after a song he wrote ranting about the chain went viral. A group of Wal-Mart employees were given the pink slip last fall after a video of them vandalizing the store’s iPad stock made the rounds. A snowplow driver got the axe after posting a video of himself gleefully dumping snowdrifts onto cars earlier this winter.

The lesson to be learned from all this: Though the prospect of viral stardom may be intoxicating, avoid seeking it out at your place of work. Otherwise, you could be Harlem Shaking your way to the unemployment office.

WTF AFRICA- DING DING GROWS AFTER ENHANCING DRUGS

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ZIMBABWE – A Bulawayo man is living in distress after his organ reportedly grew uncontrollably.

34-year-old Nigel Nyoni of Bulawayo’s uptown suburb, Burnside, is fighting a rare condition that he claims came as a result of gulping countless litres of traditional concoction that was meant to increase his sexual drive over three weeks.

The man said his manhood has been growing uncontrollably since the day he guzzled the concoction.

Nyoni claims that his ‘anaconda’ had grown by a ‘mammoth’ seven centimetres in less than a month after taking a concoction popularly known as imbiza or guchu.

“I used to have a normal penis but what is happening to me is getting me scared. When I first noticed that my organ was growing, I didn’t mind because I thought it was part of the process. However, I later realised that it was growing continuously,” said Nyoni.

He said on noticing that his organ was growing excessively, he took measurements after every two days.

“On taking measurements, I realised that my organ was growing. To tell the truth this is scaring me. I used to be an average guy but this has gone overboard,” he said.

Nyoni revealed that he has since approached a herbalist who prescribed the concoction but he was unable to help him.

“He told me that there was nothing he could do as the ‘guchu’ was not for enlargement but for increasing sexual drive. He even accused me of trying to trick him after I demanded my money back. I am afraid of getting out of the house because my organ is beginning to show in my trousers. I’m scared it might continue to ‘expand’ until it kills me,” said Nyoni.

“Very soon maybe it would be worse and no woman would want me near. What if I die without a family of my own? There is a woman that I am planning to marry this year and how will that be possible if I die or if this thing continues to grow,” he said.

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