NO SAH DI MAN PAT HIM BATTAM TO BLOODCLOT

The evening had gone quite well considering the popularity of ‘R’. And I must admit driving in his Range was quite an experience. He may not be as intelligent as his adversary now turned frenemy, but he was cool, and had a wicked sense of humour.

He dropped me at a friend’s house (I still did not want him to know where I lived), and the called my friend Ricky to carry me home from there. The next day was a Saturday, and I decided to do some housework, washing and then later some grocery shopping. I heard a few of his popular songs playing on the radio while sweeping my house and turned the volume up loud. The sixty grand he had given me I planned to use some, then bank the rest on mong, hopefully I could bank forty out of it. Later Belle called me for an update (with Saph on the other end, no less), and I gave them some.

Saph told me that she knew about this online site that discussed all things about the artistes in Jamaica and dem dutty life. She even confessed to being a member and contributing her two cents regularly, she said at the moment ‘R’ was a topic of interest, nothing too freaky or of interest, but what she foudn interesting was the amount of girls he had, and not only in Jamaica alone. I listened as she logged in and began to read an article of the girls he had previous ‘relations’ with, and of internet wars between the girls, including the ‘gaddess’ that lived in the states, who was the leader of arguments and wars. Apparently this babymother who self-titled herself the ‘gaddess’ would seek out her competition, rumoured mateys, and even take a step further by flying out whenever she could to be with him so she could be the Commission of policing his cockey. I laughed out loud whenn Saph said that one.

“Why yuh laughing..my girl..yuh nuh si seh d gyal MAD!? Everybody knows dat ‘R’ have nuff woman, and she is not his first babymother! Di first one cut him off long time and just humble harself, but da one ya out fi blood fi any ooman shi si wid har man! Yuh betta watch yuh back! Because anyhow shi fly to yuh mi can call mi linky a Spai and me and Belle introduce har to Mr. Hardware and lumber and You can mek har talk to Mr. Steel Pipe! woiiieeee mi abdomen!!!”, she laughed into the phone. Belle laughed too, but was serious when she said, “But seriously Bree, yuh haffi be careful..worse like how yuh tek him money! Him ago expec fi get some front!”.

“Maybe I would give him.” I conceded, “I am curious to find out how good he is in bed! But I am nobody’s fool! Him haffi go let off another sixty pack before him even mi my vagina! Saph, anymore info on the site bout him gyal dem?” I asked her.

She therefore proceeded to inform me of the various names he was called up with, from a browning that lived in an apartment upstairs to another that goes to a popular technological university, to even a female DJ who was a bit on the fully side and styled herself di ‘gangstress’. I laughed again, I knew what I had in mind in hoking up with ‘R’, but most of these medicated bitches were actually arguing, stalking and cussing each other over ownership of a man who had money to spen and was a popular entertainer! How stupid could one get? These guys weren’t interested in making anybody a wife, they were just interested in getting pussy, hot gyal and a frak to show off to their friends! God bless the artiste that had a wife (ring and legal documents involved!) and was faithful to her…I have note seen or heard of one to that matter.

Later as I went shopping (I had carried Belle with me), we went to a noted carwash which was more notorious for the wealthy and fabulous men (and the hungry, hopeful groupies that were there stalking their victims), the music, food and atmosphere than for actually wahsing cars itself. Belle actually wanted to get her car washed, ans so we drove in and got some food while waiting for our vehicle to be finished. Belle and I spotted some infamous girls who were labeled as ‘party girls’, always a regular on the dancehall scene, and some labeled as ‘groupies’, all in their half a shorts, half a tops, with breasts and asses sticking out, hair extensions down to there and enough make-up to paint a hospital. I was talking to Belle about what women would do to ketch a man when she nudged me and flicked her thumb over my left shoulder. As i turned to look I saw the familiar Range drive in, followed by a similar white Range as well. I saw ‘R’ get out, along with a short, dark-skinned girl whose weave looked like it was made in china (plastic plastic plastic!), and who clinged to his side as he walked along to greet the owner of the establishment. Another entertainer who was dressed head to toe in black came out of the white Range, a spliff dangling from his mouth, and with another girl by his side, wnet in the opposit direction of his friend. Didn’t look much like a ‘Killer’ to me, I thought, as I observed the leader of the Alliance makinghis way to where a group of girls were.

Belle was still looking at ‘R’ when she said to me that the girl clinging to his arm was the U.S. Babymother, or ‘gaddess’ who loved to publicly claim her man (even though it was funny he never claimed her like some artistes we know…hhmmm?). He finally shook her off his arm, said something rude and vulgar to her, then stalked off in our direction. I tried to swing my head away but too late! He saw me, smiled and walked even more briskly towards wheer Belle and I were eating. Good Lord! I thought, here comes trouble!

Belle in the meantime put her stone face on. And instead of looking at him was now looking at the ‘gaddess’, who was intensely watching, and with a screwed up face, her man walking over towards me. It seemed there was gonna be shit going down, and Belle was not one to back down from a fight, and neither was I. I put my best smile on my face, and as he finally reached where I was, threw my arms around him, hugged him and said “Hello Lovahhhh…long time no see!” And kissed his cheek.

The ‘gaddess’ screwed her face even more, and began walking in our direction! Oh this was gonna be fun! I thought again!

Met says ” cutty di man need a likkle wooden closet n him need fi stop heng him clothes over di bed post…u dow look bad dow cutty but u know di people dem naw miss a beat and tights aint nothing fi repeat”