MOE AND HAR HUSBAND ?
HAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
LOOK WHOSE TALKING?
The simple truths about your man
Ask Asafa
Monday, March 11, 2013
I keep getting asked the question, what do guys really want in a woman? Indeed, and I’ve said it before, we’re simple creatures and we don’t need that much to survive and be happy.
Ladies, here are the main things you should know about your man:
1. Don’t try to get rid of our friends. Talking badly about our friends is a bad idea, especially if we’ve been with you two months and they’ve been our friends 10 years. You should want us to have friends and a life because, as I said before, we want you to do the same.
2. We will never ask for directions or read the directions on assembling or operating any item. Just accept it, vent to your friends and leave us be. We know what we’re doing.
3. We can’t have too much sex. If you’re doubting whether you should make a move at 11:45 am on a Tuesday while we’re driving to Wendy’s, don’t. We will turn the car around with swiftness. So, again, for clarity, there are no time restraints.
4. Natural is nice. You don’t always have to put on a ton of make-up. Sometimes simple is just as sexy.
5. Don’t bug us. The more you badger us about this girl or that girl is the more you turn us off and more than likely turn our attention elsewhere. Back off.
6. We like it when you take care of us. Yes, an independent, self-assured woman is great, but there is nothing wrong with cooking us a meal, or if you see we forgot how a hanger works and help us out, we notice. Trust me, we notice.
7. We may lie from time to time. This to a) make you feel better (those pants really made you look fat) or b) for a peaceful life.
8. We really don’t want “to talk”. We don’t want this AT ALL. We really just listen so you don’t argue. In fact, even when it comes to BBM or WhatsApp, we just read the last few lines so we can respond.
9. Most of us just aren’t good at expressing ourselves. This is the truth. We weren’t really taught how. So just work with us and have patience.
10. Let us breathe. Yes it’s great waking up next to you but we don’t need you to be there every time we look up. Even if we are not complaining, ease off and let us have a little room. Let us ask you to come over or let you know we miss your company.
Follow Asafa on Twitter @officialasafa, visit his website at iamasafa.com or catch him at facebook.com/ asafapowell. E-mail him at [email protected].
Read more: http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/The-simple-truths-about-your-man_13775876#ixzz2NQ3uRbb6
CHINA AND US PAN DI HACKING TING
Hack Attack: China and the U.S. Trade Barbs on Cyberwarfare
By Hannah BeechMarch 12, 201319 Comments
CARLOS BARRIA / REUTERS
Chinese pedestrians walk in front of the building housing the secretive Unit 61398 of the People’s Liberation Army, on the outskirts of Shanghai on Feb, 19, 2013. The unit is believed to be behind a series of hacking attacks, a U.S. computer-security company said, prompting a strong denial by China and accusations that it was in fact the victim of U.S. hacking
The gloves are off. For years, the White House has danced around the sensitive topic of Chinese hacking into American computer systems that is believed to have compromised everything from electrical grids to the e-mail accounts of researchers focusing on China’s human-rights record. Public finger-pointing at Chinese hackers has been left largely to the American legislative branch or to private Western cybersecurity firms like Mandiant or McAfee, which have produced reports linking the Chinese military to online espionage. Even when U.S. President Barack Obama warned of the dangers of cyberwarfare in his State of the Union Address last month and then issued an executive order to protect America’s online borders, he declined to specifically name China as an offender.
No more. On March 11, U.S. National Security Advisor Thomas Donilon said that Chinese hacking had become a “key point of concern” in bilateral relations. “Increasingly, U.S. businesses are speaking out about their serious concerns about sophisticated, targeted theft of confidential business information and proprietary technologies through cyberintrusions emanating from China on an unprecedented scale,” Donilon said in remarks to Asia Society, a nonprofit organization based in New York City. “The international community cannot afford to tolerate such activity from any country.”
(MORE: China’s Red Hackers: The Tale of One Patriotic Cyberwarrior)
For its part, China has consistently denied any state-sponsored hacking campaign. Only two days before Donilon’s speech, China’s outgoing Foreign Minister Yang Jiechi lashed out at the U.S. for the recent drumbeat of accusations blaming China for cyberattacks. “Anyone who tries to fabricate or piece together a sensational story to serve a political motive will not be able to blacken the name of others or whitewash themselves,” he said at a news conference during the National People’s Congress, the annual Chinese leadership confab currently underway in Beijing. Yang went on to call for increased regulation of this new frontier: “Cyberspace needs not war, but rules and cooperation. We oppose cyberspace becoming a new battlefield, and to using the Internet as a new tool to interfere in another country’s internal affairs.”
On Monday, Chinese newspapers, which are guided by propaganda directives from the government, launched their own incursion against Western accusers. “The American government should make a self-examination first before it accuses other countries of such behaviors,” the Global Times, a Beijing-based daily, wrote, citing a Chinese international-affairs expert. “No country can compete with America in terms of its hacking ability.” The Liberation Daily, the mouthpiece of the People’s Liberation Army, noted that between November 2012 and January 2013, “China suffered 5,792 hacker attacks launched from the U.S., making the U.S. the No. 1 country hacking China.”
(MORE: Putting China’s ‘Hacking Army’ into Perspective)
It’s unlikely that the U.S. has no interest in infiltrating Chinese government computer networks. Internet experts blame the U.S. and Israel for having created and unleashed the Stuxnet virus to debilitate Iran’s nuclear program. Nor is China considered the only perpetrator of aggression in American cyberspace. Security professionals also accuse Iran, Russia and even allies like France and Israel, among others, for forays into American government and corporate computer networks. “We suspect many countries,” says Murray Jennex, a cybersecurity expert at San Diego State University. “It’s not like the Chinese are the only ones.” Still the number and variety of attacks blamed on Chinese hackers is expanding so quickly that the White House may have felt compelled to finally respond, particularly given Beijing’s adamant denials of any nefarious activity. As Donilon noted, American businesses have become vocal about their concerns when dealing with China. “It’s common practice for [Silicon Valley] companies to reformat their computers any time they go to China,” says Jennex. “They don’t work that way in any other country.”
Meanwhile, in China, where more than half-a-billion wired citizens must contend with the so-called Great Firewall that filters online information the government considers sensitive, grim jokes circulated on local social-media sites. “The Great Firewall is very powerful,” went one. “Why cannot it stop the American hackers’ attacks?”
— With reporting by Gu Yongqiang / Bei
Read more: http://world.time.com/2013/03/12/hack-attack-china-and-the-u-s-trade-barbs-on-cyberwarfare/#ixzz2NPyvNdn2
MEK SENSE….
SEP
26
2012
Jamaica Mad to Raas!
By Super Heavy
Image courtesy of www.ridoutphoto.com
When did it come to this? Where do we begin to look for answers? Turns out that these are deep rooted psychological problems. And what the good Professor Hickling has concluded, might in fact be right. Jamaicans are mad people.
When did it come to this? It’s been this way for quite some time I’m often told. Watching that bloodsport called the nightly news has become as frightening as watching a horror flick. Policeman kills pregnant woman. 5 women raped in one house. Careless bus driver mows down innocent bystanders. Angry mob hacks man to death. And on and on. Where do we begin to look for answers? Turns out that these are deep rooted psychological problems. And what the good Professor Hickling has concluded, might in fact be right. Jamaicans are mad people.
Think about it. Only mad people could commit these kinds of crimes. And only mad people could watch the news, get up the next day and go about their daily lives and pretend as if nothing happened. Only mad people can watch their government massacre dozens of people, and not say anything about it, because they think the mad people who live in Tivoli don’t deserve to live. Only mad people drive public transportation, break every single road law, and when you call them out, they tell you ‘guh suck yu madda’. Then again, only mad people choose to take daredevil public transportation.
Only mad people condone music that talks about Demon worship and killing people in broad daylight, and when the singer comes out in public saying his main target audience are our children, no one gets up and says, ‘this is madness!’ Only mad people support the modern day slavery taking place in the Downtown commercial district, while speaking highly of the slaveowners because we got a good deal on some flip-flops. You have to be mad to hoard your wealth, lock yourself up in an uptown enclave, then ride around behind tinted windows, and still expect people to respect you. You must be mad to employ people you loathe and treat like dirt, then get angry when they steal your stuff. And you have to be mad to bleach your skin and still believe you are beautiful.
A society that loves Bob but hates Rasta, a society that adores Miss Lou, but takes exception to Jamaican language being used in public, a society that elevates ‘shade-ism’ and denigrates Marcus Garvey – must be mad. An education system that dooms most students to failure – madness. Churches that preach more than they practice- madness. A justice system that produces more criminals than it rehabilitates – madness. Dancehall sessions that are drunken public orgies – madness. Boardrooms which have become pretentious private havens for liars, thieves, and tax cheats – madness. Our politicians – ‘mad like shad’. One even refers to herself in the third person. We are violent, ignorant, and savage, not only in the way we treat each other, but how we treat our environment. And like mad people do, we continue to delude ourselves into believing everything irie.
Yet in spite all of this madness, one cannot help but be hopeful. Because uncontrollable optimism is yet another feature of insanity. It’s hard not to feel pride in our athletes, in our children who do well academically. In our creative artists who continue to amaze the world. It’s hard not to feel good about our young entrepreneurs. About our women who are taking on higher education. It’s hard not to feel hopeful when Father Ramkinsoon, and Father Ho-Lung, and countless other NGOS and non profits continue to do such yeoman work on behalf our less fortunate. It’s hard not to feel optimistic about the self-starters, the all-nighters, the heavy-lifters, the hard-working nurses and doctors, and the business owners who take a pay cut to keep everybody employed. Because in a country like this, such dedication and patriotism requires a level of optimism, that only a ‘mad smaddy’ can possess. So I can only conclude like the Professor, that Jamaica really mad to raas.
Superheavy.
Follow on Twitter @realsuperheavy
WTF AFRICA – MAN TRIES TO SLEEP WITH MOTHER-IN-LAW TO GAIN RICHES
Man spends a year trying to SLEEP with his MOTHER-IN-LAW so as to get rich overnight
ZIMBABWE – A Binga man stunned the court when he revealed that having sex with his mother-in-law was the only way which could make him rich overnight and he had been trying his luck for than a year.
The man, Amos Mambali (38), said a traditional healer told him that getting in between the sheets with his mother-in-law would make him a lucky man and become rich.
Mambali’s revelations came out when he was hauled before Binga magistrate facing domestic violence charges after he thoroughly bashed his wife for questioning him about rumours she had heard.
It is reported that the accused’s wife, Orpah Mambali, on 2 March confronted her husband and told him that there were rumours in the village that he was having sex with his mother-in-law. Mambali was not happy with his wife’s approach and told her that she should go and stay with those people saying ‘bad things’ about him.
A misunderstanding reportedly erupted between the two as the woman demanded explanations. Mambali started beating up his wife accusing her of taking rumours seriously and the woman later managed to escape and reported the matter to the police, leading to her husband’s arrest.
When Mambali was in court, he poured out his heart and confirmed that he was spending most of his time at his mother-in-law’s place because he wanted to be rich, but had not succeeded as yet. He further explained that a traditional healer told him that he was supposed to get rid of bad luck by having sex with the mother of his wife.
Nonetheless, the magistrate told him that he should work hard to get rich, not to expect miracles. Mambali was sentenced to 210 hours of community service at Siabuwa Primary School.
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