JADA AGAIN

Jada Pinkett Smith
March 6
Before I begin…I want to make one thing clear. It’s important that you know that I believe love comes in ALL forms. I believe a person should love WHOMEVER…HOWEVER they choose. But…I do have a question.

In the last month, three women, in their 40s, coming out of long term relationships with men have confided in me that they now feel that their last resort for companionship is that with a woman. These are women who have never engaged in or even desired to be in intimate relationships with other women. Now these women feel as though they have no other option. It seems as if there is a spike in same sex love all around. What is changing in which how men and women are relating to one another, that is creating same sex love as a LAST RESORT for heterosexual women?

You…tell…me.
J

And she responded to her readers!

Jada Pinkett Smith
Saturday via mobile
Our Men Have Suffered Too…

I have really enjoyed all the powerful comments and opinions in regards to my post, “Last resort”. Many of your comments and opinions have stimulated my desire to explore what our men are experiencing in the world. It is my belief, that it is their SUFFERING that is contributing to the deterioration in relationships between men and women.

I began to think about how our men suffer from oppression of various sorts and how this often leads to depression of various kinds. I thought about how our men suffer from the pressure to live up to the social standards of being strong, of being in control and filling the function as provider. What about the man who has no resources to provide? What about the pressures of having no resources which can lead a man to violence against others or even himself? What about the man who is taught that his ONLY value is to provide, and that it’s the amount of zeros in his pay check that quantify his worth and the amount of love he deserves? With this as the measurement of value, how can he put more importance or concentration on how he is actually RELATING to his woman and to his family? And what about all the feelings that come with these pressures… in a world where men are not allowed an outlet to express their fears, their concerns or vulnerabilities without risking being called a punk, a pussy or soft? If our men are not allowed to explore their own emotional world, how can they possibly navigate through ours? And speaking about navigating through worlds, what are we to do with our beautiful, energetic, vibrant, curious, strong, out going and outspoken boys that doctors and “experts” label as ADHD challenged, who we are told won’t have a chance in this world without being medicated? And what do we say to the men who didn’t have fathers to raise them? The men who had only mothers to play both roles, which at times, left her to have to betray the codes of love, trust and sweetness between mother and son? What do we do with those betrayals left upon that resentful boy who thought his mother was too harsh and now he can’t help himself for taking it out on any woman close to him? What about the men who have suffered under the hand of abuse and neglect only to find himself a perpetrator of the same pain?

Have we ever stopped to think about how our men have suffered…

This is where new, bold, courageous, non traditional thinking and actions must have the upper hand to overcome ALL the SUFFERING that’s keeping us ALL apart in ALL forms of relating. WE GOTTA THINK NEW!

J