The Righteousness of Love
Growing up in the church, I remember hearing a lot of talk about love, so much so that it almost seemed to be a buzzword. It really didn’t mean much to me, however, beyond the fact that treating other people properly was what I was supposed to do. But two years ago I noticed something interesting when reading 1 John 4, it was simple, yet generated something of a “paradigm shift” for me.

1 John 4:11 and 12
(11) Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
(12) No one has ever seen [1] God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

Consider the first half of the bolded sentence. You would almost expect John to say something along the lines of: No one has ever seen God; but one day we will. Or maybe, No one has ever seen God, but I can tell you what he probably looks like. Instead he says, “No one has ever seen God, but if we love….” What does love have to do with seeing God? Keep in mind the context of this section of Scripture. Go back a little and start reading from verse 7. The context is all about others! Allow me to paraphrase 1 John a bit:

“No one has ever seen God, but if we love one another, people WILL see him, because they’ll see in us the love and care that can come only from him. They will see what God’s character looks like in physical reality and they will understand who he is.”

The ancient Greek language contained four different words for “love.” In this article, I am referring to what the Greeks called agape. This kind of love is not based upon how you might feel toward another person! In other words, whether or not you have the “warm fuzzies” is irrelevant. Agape means choosing to love someone in obedience to God. E. W. Bullinger’s Critical Lexicon and Concordance to the English and Greek New Testament says: “Agape denotes the love which springs from admiration and veneration, and which chooses its object with decision of will, and devotes a self-denying and compassionate devotion to it.” For us, the greatest example of agape is the redemptive work of Jesus, loving his captors from a cross that was anything but warm and fuzzy. [2]

Many of us (including myself) were drawn to the good news of Christ for precisely this reason. Remember 1 John 4:8 where it says: “God is love!” Some person in our lives made an effort and showed a concern for us that we had not seen before, and that caught our attention. On page 9 of the September/October 2006 issue of The Sower, there is a definition of love that very much mirrors 1 John 4: 11 and 12: “Loving” someone is to obey God on another’s behalf, seeking his or her long-term blessing and profit.

Jesus declared that the greatest commandments focused on loving God and loving one’s neighbor. Note, however, that the first and greatest commandment is to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Why? Because, by nature, loving God involves loving people [3] (1 John 4:20). I am reminded of Matthew 25:35 ff: “…whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” Just as in human relationships, loving God involves being concerned with what he is concerned with, which is people! God always has His people’s best interests in mind, and He asks us to do likewise (Luke 6:35 and 36).

Unfortunately, many of the Jews of Jesus’ day did not understand this. While they were concerned about loving God via their strict adherence to the Law, they weren’t really loving because they had very little true concern for their fellow man. Consider Romans 13:8-10, where Paul says, “…for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law…Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.” Micah 6:8 is just as powerful: “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” See also Hosea 6:6 and 10:12; Jeremiah 22:15b-16; Philippians 1:9-11; and Galatians 6:2.

Even more unfortunate is that many people still do not understand this today, because legalism, a supposed adherence to the commands of God that actually are the doctrines of men, abounds in the modern church. My question to all of us is, “How are people going to see who God is unless they see it and learn it from us, the people He has commissioned to show them (Rom.10:13-17)?”

In contrast, 1 Corinthians 13:1 shows us what acting or speaking without love does to people: “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” If you have ever been in a middle school band room, you can relate to Paul’s analogy. Clanging cymbals cause you to do one thing, and do it quickly—plug your ears and leave the room!

This brings us full-circle back to 1 John 4. Keep in mind that we are the only Bible that some people will ever read. [4] Loving will take some time and effort (learning a person’s culture, understanding his views, putting aside your own plans to help someone else, etc.), but is it not worth it for the possibility of saving someone’s life? Christians have a new, spiritual nature that was created in us when we became born again, and we can live a life of genuine love. As we do, it will be a blessing to us and those whose lives we touch. It is worth the effort to learn to live in love, so people can see God, and then we can say we are becoming like Christ.

What a ting! Di husband deh a jail and di wife really really enjoying harself oo

8 reasons why WOMEN leave relationships

A stable relationship is based on trust, and if that is broken, it would be very difficult to heal. If there is a problem within the relationship, talk with her about your concerns.
All women have things they need in a relationship. Women want a man to be someone they can rely on, depend on and confide in along with making her feel happy, secure and loved. However, when things like insensitive remarks, little hurts and frustration pile up in a long term relationship, she might get to the point where she simply says “enough is enough” and leaves.
It’s a general rule that when your girlfriend decides to leave you, you’ve done something wrong. Chances are, you’ve done a lot of things wrong and depending on your situation, she probably left you for reasons you didn’t think. Here are some reasons why women leave men.
1. Lack of Attention
Women love it when their men notice things about them and actually talks and listens to them. If there is a lack of communication and she notices, she’s likely to feel unsatisfied in the relationship even if everything else is going well. Listen to her when she talks. If she doesn’t feel like she’s receiving love and attention from you, she’ll eventually find someone who will treat her right.
2. Lack of Appreciation
Women do a lot more than men tend to give them for, so appreciate the little things you girlfriend does for you. Be sure you compliment her on her attire or how good she does on things. Let her know that you do appreciate her doing things for you.
3. Cheating
When you cheat, you acknowledge that something isn’t right in your relationship. However, instead of dealing with it, you decide that having an affair is the best way to handle it. When you get caught cheating, the fragile bridge of trust is broken. A stable relationship is based on trust, and if that is broken, it would be very difficult to heal. If there is a problem within the relationship, talk with her about your concerns. After all, how would you feel if she did it to you?
4. Lack of emotional support
Women are unique creatures and they require a lot of emotional support. They need to feel loved, needed and emotionally connected to their men. Women want their emotions met which means if they are supportive of you, they would like you to be supportive of them. If you cannot meet her emotionally needs, it is most likely she will turn elsewhere for companionship.
5. Lack of Intimacy
Women do not want to feel as if you only want them for s*x. They want true intimacy, which means physical contact without s*x sometimes. If you only come around her when you want s*x, she will be become dissatisfied and will not even want to be touched by you.
6. Lack of Ambition
Women who are ambitious will seek out a partner that is also ambitious.Women like to date men whom they can move forward with and they like to look ahead and see a bright future. Women want to know that a man can take care of himself, so having an unfavorable lifestyle and showing no signs of maturity can make a woman leave you quickly.
7. You were too controlling
Most women want men who will protect them and make them feel safe–but they don’t want a dictator. Women do not want their boyfriends to tell them where to go, when to leave, who to talk to, or what to wear. Dating a guy with a controlling nature can be pretty scary for women and this will cause them to end the relationship.
8. You were too abusive
Abuse is not only physical. It can also take a verbal form. Being deceitful, having a short fuse, being overly-critical and belittling someone to make them feel worthless is also a type of abuse. Displaying these negative behaviors will cause her to leave you. Nobody wants to be with someone who is abusive. (TON)