WHA A GWAAN INA LONDON?

A bizarre and grotesque public murder took place in Woolwich, England today. British Prime Minister David Cameron said that there were strong indications that this was a terrorist attack. Two men attacked and killed a soldier, unprovoked, as far as we know, with machetes and knives. Witnesses said that the victim was beheaded. Two other men were attacked, but not killed. The attack took place on the street in public. The attackers have been shot by authorities, and are being held. The strangest part of all is that the attackers, far from trying to get away, have been welcoming public attention. One of them gave a short interview while still covered in blood. The slain soldier can be seen lying on the street behind him
“I apologize that women had to witness this today, but in our land, women have to see the same. Remove your government, they don’t care about you!” the murderer declares.

After talking to the camera, the man walks back towards the body and speaks to passers-by, who, incredibly, don’t seem worried about being attacked with the knives the man is still holding. According to the Guardian, the murderers were encouraging people to take pictures of them.

Two women shielded the dying soldier from further attack in an astounding act of bravery, while they waited for authorities to arrive. The police drew criticism for not arriving for 20 minutes after the attack.

British Prime Minister Dave Cameron called an immediate meeting of COBRA, his crisis response team.