Norwegian Butter Crisis Escalates as Swedes Arrested in Smuggling Scheme
The grim situation in Scandinavia worsened over the weekend as the Norwegian government, attempting to cling to power in the face of a severe butter shortage, arrested two Swedes who’d been attempting to smuggle 550 pounds of butter over the border.

Americans have so far largely ignored the crisis developing in the Nordic countries: a faddish low-carb, high-fat diet, a bad year for dairy production, and the vicious and violent nature of life in the frozen north have combined to create a severe lack of butter—even as Scandinavians are gearing up for their most-celebrated holiday, “Christmas.”

As always, in the face of such a crisis, a black market has emerged:

The two men, who snuck into the country from Sweden, were arrested with about 550 lbs of butter divided into 18-ounce packets, the Norwegian daily newspaper Adresseavisen reported.

[…]

“They have confessed that they have bought butter in Sweden to sell at a profit in Norway,” legal counsel Amund Sand told the Adresseavisen.

Meanwhile, unconfirmed reports of butter-hoarding warlords in the north of Norway have emerged as authorities remain unwilling to even estimate the number of deaths the crisis has caused.

ASK ME NO QUESTYAHANZ

MEMPHIS, TN –
(WMC-TV) – Parishioners at New Salem Missionary Baptist Church watched as a brawl broke out right in the middle of service and now the police have launched an investigation.

A fight between two women near the church’s choir section turned into a brawl between the two families, according to a police report. When officers arrived, only three people from the brawl were left and they’re all listed as both suspects and victims.

The police report tells two versions of what happened Sunday.

Police took photos of three church members’ injuries, but the photos haven’t been released.

At the center of the altercation are Beverly Milam, her nemesis Terry Bell, and Bell’s daughter Charra Lumpkin.

Bell and Milam agree on one thing: the fight began with a verbal confrontation at Bible study last Wednesday.

Milam said she told Bell to “stop sleeping with somebody” and then she said Bell got in her face.

Fast forward to first Sunday at New Salem.

Bell said she was walking from the choir stand during service around 1 p.m. when Milam approached her and said “Are you going to do something today?”

Bell said she replied she was “not going to get involved in something at the church.”

At that point, Bell’s daughter, Lumpkin, got between the two women.

But a Communion Day cat fight still followed.

The two women at the center of the fight have different versions of how the blows began.

Bell claims Milam struck her daughter.

Milam claims Bell’s friend “Angel” struck her in the face with an umbrella.

At that point, family members jumped in.

Milam said someone “grabbed her by the back of her hair” and “threw her to the ground.”

When officers arrived, they had to separate the women.

The police report says Bell suffered scratch marks to her neck and upper chest and her daughter had scratch marks to the neck, upper chest and left side.

Milam has a slightly swollen and bloodshot right eye.

Paramedics treated Milam at the church while Bell and Lumpkin refused medical attention

All parties involved said this has been an ongoing problem for several years and they all want to prosecute and Memphis police say charges could follow.

The church declined to comment on the matter and neither Milan and Lumpkin wanted to talk about what happened.

Bell has not returned Action News 5’s call.

And despite rumors, no one in church leadership threw any punches on first Sunday.

Copyright 2011 WMC-TV. All rights reserved.

STOCKTON – A Stockton teenager learned there’s a reason only Santa Claus can make it all the way down a chimney.

Attempting to sneak into his home Thursday morning, 18-year-old George Herrera became stuck in the bottom third of the chimney.

After breaking a family curfew, Herrera was trying to get back inside, said Art Ray, an operator chief for the Stockton Fire Department.

The uninjured man was pulled to safety in a matter of minutes after fire crews arrived, Ray said.

He was found when emergency crews responded to the 500 block of North Baker Street at about 10:15 a.m. Thursday after receiving reports of a trapped chimney sweeper, Ray said.

“When we got on scene, the family told us he was attempting to sneak back in and had gotten stuck,” he said.

The 5-foot-10-inch and 150-pound Herrera almost made it to the bottom, Ray said, but apparently failed to account for the two separate 45-degree angles towards the base of the chimney.

“We could see his feet sticking out when we arrived,” Ray said.

Ray estimated the man was trapped for about 90 minutes before emergency crews were called.

He was pulled to safety after firefighters secured ropes around his wrists and pulled him up about 8 feet with the help of a firetruck’s ladder, Ray said.

“We’re not specifically trained to rescue people from chimneys, but we are trained to pull people from confined spaces,” he said. “We were able to get him out in about 15 minutes.”

Herrera was not under the influence of any illegal substances, officials said, and was allowed to return inside his home after being rescued.

Herrera did not tell emergency workers if he had previously attempted to enter him home through its chimney, Ray said.

Contact reporter Jordan

ORIGINALSTORY

MEMPHIS, TN –
(WMC-TV) – A man was charged with statutory rape after a Mid-South mother said she caught him in bed with her teenage son.

“If I had had a gun, I would probably be down there with him, because I would have shot him,” said the victim’s mother.

The victim’s mother, who did not wish to be identified, said she wanted to kill 41-year-old Andre Walker after she walked in her home to find him in bed naked with her 15-year-old son.

“I ran down the stairs, locked the doors, barricaded it so that no one could get out, so that he would have to wait on the police,” she said.

Walker was arrested on the scene. While in custody, he admitted to police he and the 15-year-old had sex, but he said he thought the child was an adult.

“He wanted to say he didn’t know,” said the victim’s mother. “But there’s no way he didn’t know he was messing with a child.”

Walker told police that he and the 15-year-old met on a chat line. The victim’s mother said she noticed her son spending a lot of time on the computer.

“If anything does sound strange, you should always tell your parents, ‘someone wants to come see me, someone wants my address, someone wants my phone number,'” said the victim’s mother. “So that they won’t get themselves into something they can’t handle.”

She said she warned her son over and over again about the dangers of the internet.

“These are grown people, you cannot protect yourself against grown people,” she said.

She offered a message for Walker and online predators who go after children.

“These parents do not play about their children, they will kill you,” she said. “That way, you’re making it hard on families by messing with their children. Stay away from these children because it is not right. Go away.”

Walker is charged with aggravated statutory rape. His bond is set at $100,000.

Copyright 2011 WMC-TV. All rights reserved.

http://www.wmctv.com/story/16350421/mother-catches-41-year-old-in-bed-with-teenage-son