This post is based on an email that was sent and in no way reflects the views and opinions of ''Met'' or Jamaicangroupiemet.com. To send in a story send your email to [email protected]

DEAR MET………………….. WHY DO MEN LIE, I NEED ANSWERS

 

 

dear met

 

I met my baby-father six years ago and thought he was the perfect man even though noone is  perfect, until i started to see signs which is staying out late,turning off his cell and lying and i also realize he’s always going to Bermuda to visit family and never wish to even take me once but i don’t know if  the reason for him not asking is because of my work  as a teacher.I ask God how much more of these lies i should take but here comes another surprise,sevens months after our twins were born i found a piece of paper in the house with Bermuda number on it,i wasn’t gonna call but a voice said i should when i used my home phone to call, the female said “hi baby” before i could even say a word but i didn’t hesitate, i started asking her questions and she did give answers to the 2 years of problems that we were having and she also allowed me to put the lies together that he has been telling but Met i really love this man but i  don’t know if i can deal with him having another family and better yet acting as if there not in a relationship and i need to be happy but  not with lies and it doesn’t seems like  he’s gonna change so ladies help me with some of your opinion on what you think i should do………

56 Responses to DEAR MET………………….. WHY DO MEN LIE, I NEED ANSWERS

  • Observer says:

    suh weh di fone call did seh?? Did you let him aware that u made that call and gathered info?? mi need likkle mor info

  • LadyWoW says:

    Poor ting,

    This is a question only you yourself can answer. Infedelity is a serious ting, Trust is very important inna relationship. Mi cyan and wont tell u weh fi do cuz u have young baby fi consider.

    Mi personally cyan manage di bun. It would drive mi mad. Mi cyan tek di idea of my cocky going to places unknown.

  • Foxy says:

    Like seriously? Why do men lie? It’s human nature. Everyone lies. Why do you stay with a liar? Now that you know the truth and know he’s a liar, are you any better than he since you are lying to yourself?
    If you cannot deal with him having another family then leave. Is staying making you happy? No. You met this man and you crafted your own image of who you wanted him to be and when you realized who he was you call him a liar. The man is a liar and a cheat. Do you know how hight the AIDS rate is in Bermuda? Like 1 in 2.
    If the man loved and respected you, he would have been home and he wouldn’t have another family elsewhere. You staying doesn’t give him any reason to desist. You get what you accept.
    Loving him is one thing and more often than not, the heart doesn’t know who to love but you have to love yourself more and loving yourself means walking away from anything that doesn’t serve you or make you happy.
    Your happiness should never be contingent on him. Yes, failed relationships hurt but life goes on.
    You have 2 choices, stay and play dumb, deaf and blind because he won’t stop or leave, hurt, get over the hurt in time and move on with your life.

  • Observer says:

    dis cocky going to a known place @ wow read agen

  • di sender says:

    yes i did but he deny everything and said if i’m gonna let a woman i don’t know come between us

  • Brightlight says:

    Simple. Accept that you are a sister wive an tan deh. I don’t know why women don’t get that we outnumber men and that monogamy is not natural.

  • Cindy Royal says:

    Beat him! Cuz sumtimes a man fi get kuff, fi get kuff, fi get kuff :kr

    But seriously, only u know how much u can take or are willing to take from being in this relationship. Just analyse the pros & cons & decide.

  • Observer says:

    @ di sender suh yuh need mor dan dat?? lissen to mih single mothers have been doing before my granny time suh determine ur worth. Yuh get confirmation fi match em actions suh a no di ooman a cum btwn unnuh a em cocky weh inna di miggle a cause ruption

  • LadyWoW says:

    Sender dont be fooled. Mi nah go gwan like mi nice and a man neva trick mi yet. But trick is one ting – u cyan jus tun inna fool. Follow ur gut instinct in this.

  • di sender says:

    @foxy…….. i really appreciate your choice of words and how u jus speak your mind…….thanks

  • Yep! says:

    Good morning sender / my JMG girls ( wink wink):
    Sender…think logically with your head and not with your heart. This guy knows you love him and despite that he still manages to disrespect the sanctuary of your home and family. For him to be flying out to Bermuda to go see this other woman speaks more than volumes; for one it tells me that not only is he shelling out plane ticket money fe see this Otha crotches, she is prolly getting extra loot from him as well, so if I were you I’d consider these options:
    1. Keep a closer tab on the total household income being brought in and leaving the household/ bank account, that way the extra income can be accounted for.

    2. You may also want to consider going down to your local Child Support Office and pick up forms….. Just in case… Because if anyone should be getting his money, it should be your children, first and foremost.

  • Brightlight says:

    I only wish more men would be honest and say “I love the both of you and I’m not leaving one for the other”. I BET ANY ONE OF YOU both women would STAY!

  • Observer says:

    brighty both a dem wudda tan

  • Observer says:

    the bigger question is..yes you appreciate the advices whoever is advising NOW WILL YOU LEAVE???

  • Cindy Royal says:

    Fi real Brightlight, cuz a di sed ting mi hear gwan wid Leachim Semaj an him 2 wives. But some women naw stay, cuz Ziggy Marley 2nd babymadda neva stay.

  • Brightlight says:

    Observer di Sender NOT leaving so :bingung

    Mi nah judge no woman fi stay wid dem man cah no gyal can comfort fimmi hole like a man can.

  • Original Goodas says:

    cause then just lie. a we woman affi be strong and cuttttttt and mek dem know we naa fall fi dem shit

  • LadyWoW says:

    A man only does what he is allowed to do

  • Observer says:

    EXACTLY…but they’re other men..don’t u think?

  • Anonymous says:

    …so ladies help me some of your opinion on what you think I should do………? Huh?

    If you want to know why men lie/cheat shouldn’t you direct your questions at men? Women don’t know nothing and most are dealing with their own infidelity issues. If you want to know the why and how to deal with it ask me…..I’m the expert!

  • di sender says:

    @all of u ladies opinion……..sometime i really get confused and wonder if she’s still in the picture but when there’s a child involve, now i know i need to make a smart move.

  • Sha Sha says:

    ;ady wow u hit the nail on the head gi him a inch him tek a yard

  • di sender says:

    @anonymous…….ok u can start expert

  • Observer says:

    :nerd

    mi wah ere dis to

  • Cindy Royal says:

    Mi can si di b-s weh aguh come but mi wah hear tuh Observer :cool

  • LadyWoW says:

    :table: :coffee: I R WAITING

  • Observer says:

    mi a tel yuh cindy

  • Foxy says:

    Sender, I think it’s dumb to ask why men lie and cheat. There’s nothing that anyone on JMG can do for you. It’s your life, you know how you feel. If you are saying you are not sure if the other woman is in the picture then again, you are lying to yourself. If you don’t know, it means she’s VERY there. If she wasn’t, you would have no reason to doubt.
    She not only is in the picture, she will be there for a lifetime.

    @Brightlight, you’re right, in that monogamy is almost unheard of, a thing of the past and very unnatural to men. It is not easy for most women to share their man. While many chicks have no problem playing the role of the other woman, it’s much hard to be the wife knowing you are sharing your man. Side chicks generally take pride in their position and have no problems with it.
    Men cheat, go to strip clubs, have one night stands, affairs etc but when wife finds out they leave and end it. This is not the case, this man has an entire family that he devoting time to. That situation I could never accept and any woman who sits and accepts it has low self esteem. Women get dealt with accordingly, so once she accepts it like an idiot, the man will treat her like the idiot she is and continue to have more outside children with other women.
    If this is for her, then I guess more power then.
    Me, not a raasss. Sleeping with a chick, using a condom and sending her bout her business, I will forgive. This man doesn’t love or respect his wife. A man cannot love too people at the same time. When a man is in love, he wants to be with that person all the time and he refuses to jeopardize their relationship by having a whole family, flying to Bermuda etc.
    For her to tell herself that the man loves both of them is living in denial. The man will stay with both of them as he has the benefit and security of both and then leave them both lateron when he falls in love.

  • Gooodd Mawin, i live in Bermuda this is the cause with many man here Bermudian girls are known to mind man and the money is here nuff.

  • Sender not talking all of it, you cant just visit Bermuda like that here is strict, the man must married here and i think she knows that. One thing bout Bermudian women they dont tell lie fi no man cause man short here and every one out of 3 gal fat like mud fish so they gonna hold dem man at any means specialy if him is a yardie. So either you leave the man or you work with the program and if he leave that girl he will find a next cause Bermuda is were the easy money and the easy women are. Mark my words until he reaches his goal Bermuda him Seh!

  • Anonymous says:

    It’s coming….. hold your horses…….

  • Brightlight says:

    @Foxy I have to disagree with you and also say speak for yourself. If a woman accepts that a man has another woman, that doesn’t make her an idiot perse. I think that is a woman who is honest with herself to know that she loves this man so much she is willing to share. When I say share I’m not saying a man who is slanging dick to anyand every open female hole he can find/get, but a man who is with two women. I do believe men, and even women, can love more than one person romatically at one time. There are qualities that each women can/may possess that the man finds appealing and pleasing to him.

    Also, to speak for a man, which you are not one and will never be one, by saying what he cannot do at one time is just your opinion (which you are entitled to). We as women need tor realize that we will never understand what a man feels or is thinking because we are not them. And men will never understand the depths of our love for them because they are not us.

    As I’ve said before, no situation is black and white. There are grey areas. And let me also say that I don’t feel like there isn’t men and women who can be monogamous, but that it generally isn’t natural. And besides that, as humans our rmotions are constantly changing. We can all say that we have been in love once and look back at that ex and wonder what were we thinking. There are plenty of women that will not admit to a soul, but even moreso themselves that they are not happy in a relationship. But so many, because they are married, have children, have been with a man they truly do not love for umpteen years they will not leave. On top of that it looks good in the eyes of those they are trying to impress.

    We spend so much of our lives living up to man’s laws or wehat someone has lied and given us an unrealistic expectation to live up to. That’s why topics like the ones we see daily on the pink wall can never done. Monogamy is unnatural. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of today’s menare just low down cruffs! But there are plenty of men out here who just happen to love two women and plenty of wives or mian women who don’t want to admit there is another there man/husband loves.

  • Brightlight says:

    *main women, *their man/husband

    And I hope my comment doesn’t come off as being rude cuz that’s not my intention @Foxy
    :angel

  • Anonymous says:

    Suh some ooman nuh lie nd cheat tuh…yuh think yah do six years a de sed routine nd the man jus tired a it..wanna try something new or a you a gwaan brand new pon it etc etc?!?!?

    (Simplicity nah sign in)

  • Foxy says:

    Men will state that they love more than one person. Liking different qualities about a person is not the same as love. Loving someone doesn’t mean that you won’t cheat as I do think that men just simply crave variety.
    I think a woman is idiotic is she loves a man she is prepared to stay with, knowing he has another family simply because she loves him, meanwhile the situation is eating her up. It takes a strong, secure woman to love a man, and yet know that he’s not right for her and find the strength and courage to walk away. While many men cheat, as I’ve stated previously, having a whole family is an entirely different dynamic.
    The situation clearly makes her miserable, is unhealthy for her, especially when he clearly is sleeping around without protection. Any woman that chooses to remain in such a relationship for the sake of a warm body, better them than me. And no, nuh woman nah keep your hole warm lol but if compromising my self respect, self esteem and my desire for more at the benefit of keeping my hole warm is worth is, then for me, that’s a day when hell freezes over.
    I speak not from an emotional positon as a woman since I have only men friends. Pure hot boys with hundreds a woman, guys that love me to death as a sister but I would never dare date because of their lack of principle, their philandering ways, their inability to be faithful and their cavalier attitude towards it all.
    But those very guys, have taken uncommon measures to protect the relationships they value and the woman they genuinely love, measures that I am blown away by and even find hilarious, just so the woman would not find out and ultimately leave them and when the situation came to light, they walked away from the other women effortlessly with absolutely no qualms.
    So if a woman wish to convince herself that because a man is with her her loves her, then who am I to deprive her of that comfort called denial?
    Sex and companionship has nothing to do with love. A man will stay with a woman for a number of reasons, good sex, she takes care of him, he likes certain qualities, she’s a doormat he can walk over, she’s challenging, she’s submissive etc, however none of the above indicates that a man loves a woman.
    If that man had loved the wife, he would have made a choice and made it loudly. That doesn’t mean he wouldn’t support his child, but he wouldn’t allow any outside woman to jeopardize his good good home and this is the problem that many side chicks do not understand.
    And wife it works equally. Your man will cheat but when you find out, if that man doesn’t end the relationship and leave….you might wish to reconsider what role your really play in his life.

  • Anonymous says:

    O.K, here it is (First cut):

    First off, you said the man is your “Baby-father”. So after knowing this man for 6+ years and the father of your twins, he is just your Baby-father. Why isn’t he married to YOU? That speaks volumes about the state of your relationship. Why hasn’t it gone to the next level? Some possibilities are:

    He doesn’t see you as a wife material and he is just biding time until the “right one comes along;

    For whatever reason he doesn’t “TRUST” YOU, because he thinks you will not be there for him through thick and thin;

    He thinks YOU are a selfish (self-centered) person and quite boring inside the bedroom and outside;

    YOU put YOUR family before his needs/wants, etc.; YOU, despite your claim of loving him, do not display the level of affection towards him that would conjure-up any level of true love;
    I could continue a laundry list of possibilities, but I think you get the drift. So, how do you really know what he thinks of you? The first place to start obviously is of course to ask him directly (in a non-threatening manner). Good luck with that one, since he is unlikely to be honest due to fear of hurting you outright. You could ask his close friends what they might they have gleamed from him as to what he truly think of you. Believe it or not, men share these things with their close friends, typically in a casual manner (in passing conversation).

    Why do men lie (cheat)? Typically, he wants to have their cake and eat it at the same time. They don’t necessarily want to hurt the person that they are with and might truly love. Lying and cheating is like a fulltime job, with the attendant stress that comes along with it. We all thrive to simplify our lives, so no one wants to continue lying/cheating.

    So the first step on your journey to long lasting and fulfilling relationship is to do some self-introspection from your end, which is the only thing you have any control over. Essentially, you have to make lying and cheating a non-starter for him. Most men want to have a stable and monogamous relationship, but they have to see it as a win-win proposition, with very little risk to the hedging strategy. To be continued?…….

    @Cindy, how is it that for a first order BS?

  • Foxy says:

    @ Brightlight, you ain’t no :angel but it’s all :peluk

  • Observer says:

    but a wah dis doah ehh

  • Observer says:

    that cliche mi caw neva ovastan caw di same raas time mi get cake an di same blasted time mi a nyiam it y hav di cake n put dung?? fi di nexx masta…is like putting dung a plate a hot food fi get cowl

  • Brightlight says:

    Well @Foxy, I get what you’re saying. But like I said all situations are different. I will not judge in this situation. Affairs of the heart is a serious matter.

    And as far as my comment earlier about a man comforting my hole, I was saying that in jest. At the end of the day a woman is made for a man and a man for a woman. My point in that comment is that no matter what our friends, loved ones, relationshiop “expert” want to tell us about “leave that man” those same ppl can not do for that woman what that man does. So if she chooses to stay with this man that is hurting her that is her choice until she gets tired and is ready to leave. I get annoyed at any woman who complains about a man she knows she not ready to leave because the love is still there for her and the heart almost always wins the battle against the mind.

    We can chat shit all day but women outnumber men on this planet. On top of that are you more deserving of a man than another woman? And does it matter if you’re the wife and you don’t have evidence of your man cheating yet he is?

    It’s the same women who chant “My men would never” whose men are cheating on them. And I believe a man/woman can love more than one person at one time. I will agree to disagree 😉

  • Cindy Royal says:

    :ngakak You said it Anony, FIRST ORDER b-s, cuz how u decipher all that (eg she putting her family b4 the man) from what the sender sent in??? Yuh good wid di deciphering man :ngakak

  • Brightlight says:

    @Foxy nope no :angel and it’s definitely all :peluk :2thumbup

  • Observer says:

    ma is like playing cards on two sides wid di half a deck

  • Yep! says:

    Beat him yes Cindy, but not in front of the children. Drape him up by him shut collar and tell him once di pickney dem gaha dem bed yuh wi deal wid im case. Also, don’t cook nutten geem fe nyaam; mek him fly gaha Bermuda for breakfast, lunch and dinner….outta ! :mad:

  • Anonymous says:

    @Cindy, because your mind is already made up, you fail (miserably) to see certain words like possibilities…..did you get it? Read the comments again…I might have to decipher it for you :GRIN:

  • Foxy says:

    @Brightlight, I feel the same way which is why I never tell a woman to leave her man because when night comes I ain’t keeping her warm so I understood how that comment was meant. I took the position to tell her realistically that she had two choices.
    1. Stay with him and play blind, dumb and deaf because trying to find out what he’s doing and dwelling on the other family is only gonna kill her and frankly only a fool hurts himself, which is the reason I don’t call anyone, go through phone or wallet because there’s no guarantee I’m gonna like what I find.
    2. If she cannot handle it and it takes more than it gives, because he won’t stop, then love yourself enough to leave.

    In reference to your comment about every man cheats: TRUE
    So we have the choice of leaving someone we love so he can make someone else happy and you find another man that will do the same and the cycle continues.

    At the end of the day, expecting that a man won’t cheat is comforting but not realistic and I wouldn’t tell any woman to get up and leave your man because he cheats but if you find out and that man refuses to leave the other person, I frankly don’t think that’s your man.

  • my2cents says:

    U know what to do but u are afraid to do it. This man is not going to change. Have some respect and love for yourself and kids and move on. If u decide to be foolish and stay, I can tell u that the outcome will likely be that u will leave, he will leave or maybe something else. Also, if u are going to stay, don’t complain about it. The fact that u know what this man is doing behind your back, but still choose to continue with the relationship, automatically translates to u accepting it as it is, and in his head, that is what it says. So ur situation can only get worse, u know why? In his head, u have accepted it and you’re not going anywhere and so he feels he now can do whatever and u will still be there and even if he happens to split with that woman, trust and be sure that there will be more.

    Conclusion: You either need to move on or suck it up and be quiet. Harsh but that’s how it is.

  • Foxy says:

    @Cindy, a guess we should start theorizing every possibility on planet earth that has nothing to do with the sender or her situation?

    Maybe the baby fada went to Venezuela and kill Chavez and lie sey a Bermuda him guh, afterall he’s a liar, innit?

    How about that for a possibility Cindy? Still within the realm of possibilities? Plausible?

    And which man close friend a guh tell the man woman what the man’s doing? That would be an enemy, wouldn’t it?
    But again, POSSIBILITIES, is the operative word here.

    So Zervah and Cindy, what other kind of possibilities onnuh decipher?

    :bedug

  • Observer says:

    2cents :thanks2

  • Riches says:

    @Brightie and Foxy i laud u both for being able to aptly express your two different views, agreeing to disagree, anyhow, sender it is really difficult for anyone on the outside to tell you what to do, it is your life, you will ultimately figure it out. Take some time and do some introspection, maybe the problem lies with your inability to walk away, the circumstances may seem hard but with time anything is possible. I myself am in a situation with a man who puts his career before anything, i have threatened to move on so many times and it is really difficult, we share a child, just to say that sometimes the heart wants to do something but the foot dem and d head nah work together. Wish u all d best

  • Riches says:

    2 cents, well said but as women sometimes some things are easier said than done, courage is a real [email protected]#ker, it is really sad when we try to even conceive that monogamy is unnatural, and that most men cheat, which i wholeheartedly believe is true

  • Tawkchuet says:

    Sender how often does he go to Bermuda do u keep a check of his money he doesn’t have to know ur checking but u should know how much him earn n how much him bills are n plus Wat u r suppos to be getting , make sure ur pikney dem nah lack for nothing good if him go there half a di year this man is not urs a borrow u borrow man ok if ur kids have needs u is a big head bud fi ask Wat u must do alrite in the instant that those tings up top are taken care of properly just draw fi u rubbers n keep tings hundred at all times cool

  • Cindy Royal says:

    Foxy!!! :ngakak yuh seet! Here’s another possibility that could be deciphered: maybe di babyfawda really deh up inna di Vatican right yah now a share a glass a red wine wid di pope emeritus in celebration of Popey very generous retirement package (which grudge killing mi ova) :ngakak

    No sah, mi nuh know if Observer wah join di anony in deciphering tings from weh di senda seh, but a girl like me who doe like mek an ass outta u an me (ASS-U-ME) by coming up wid way out dere possibilities will jus stick to di serious part a mi 1st comment cuz a she inna di relationship not me: “But seriously, only u know how much u can take or are willing to take from being in this relationship. Just analyse the pros & cons & decide.”

  • Observer says:

    cindy yuh hav time ooooo bout deciphering a suh wen dem hav sumthin up dem sleeve fi a particular blogger dem rope enn pon odda tings n talk up puhleezeeeeeeee you need not decipher nothing mek senda guh sort out har ting

  • Cindy Royal says:

    Yuh seet Observer! A weh day a fellow Metter a show mi a move how ONE an two a dem deh from pillow to post (all ova di internet) a tell ppl everyting weh a gwan inna an bout dem life, a ask di likkle stupid questions like dem ting dem cute like ppl can’t see wat dem bout & EXACTLY WHO DEM BE. :ngakak

  • talkthetruth says:

    EVERY MAN gi bun. Mi no kno if ah dem ego dem ah try boost or wah , but 1 ting mi kno fi sure DEM CYA MANAGE BUN lol. Listen to I Octane song “gimmi bun” mi nah laugh :thumbup

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

[+] kaskus emoticons nartzco

Current day month [email protected] *

DISCLAIMER The views or opinions appearing on this blog are solely those of their respective authors. In no way do such posts represent the views, opinions or beliefs of “Met,” or jamaicangroupiemet.com. “Met” and jamaicangroupiemet.com will not assume liability for the opinions or statements, nor the accuracy of such statements, posted by users utilizing this blog to express themselves. Users are advised that false statements which are defamatory in nature may be subject to legal action, for which the user posting such statements will be personally liable for any damages or other liability, of any nature, arising out of the posting of such statements. Comments submitted to this blog may be edited to meet our format and space requirements. We also reserve the right to edit vulgar language and/or comments involving topics we may deem inappropriate for this web site.

****RULES**** 1. Debates and rebuttals are allowed but disrespectful curse-outs will prompt immediate BAN 2. Children are never to be discussed in a negative way 3. Personal information  eg. workplace, status, home address are never to be posted in comments. 4. All are welcome but please exercise discretion when posting your comments , do not say anything about someone you wouldnt like to be said about  you. 5. Do not deliberately LIE on someone here or send in any information based on your own personal vendetta. 6. If your picture was taken from a prio site eg. fimiyaad etc and posted on JMG, you cannot request its removal. 7. If you dont like this forum, please do not whine and wear us out, do yourself the favor of closing the screen- Thanks! . To send in a story send your email to :- [email protected]