Monthly Archives: January 2013

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LISTEN up LADIES: 7 signs that your boyfriend is about to LEAVE YOU

Love and relationships is a beautiful thing and we all would like to experience them but not all of the time is the person we’re with the right one for us. This leads to the dreaded “break up” that we all hope not to go through but it is inevitable and necessary for progress.

We must move on and leave unfulfilling relationships if we want to reach our goal of finding “the one”. Now I’m no love expert and have no degrees in studying relationships which to some extent is good because I am speaking from real experiences and not just statistics but I would like to share my knowledge to help others in this situation.

I’m only speaking from a woman’s point of view because I can’t speak for what goes on in a man’s mind. Sometimes we go into denial and blow off obvious signals that he is about to give you the boot. I will give examples of each sign from my own past failed relationships to help give you an idea.

This isn’t your typical top ten signs your guy is going to leave you. I’m talking about all of them. Now I might have missed some so this isn’t the full complete list so if you have more please share with us your experiences. So what are the signs that your boyfriend is ready to let you go and move on?

He makes comments about attractive women and not so much you
If your guy cares about you, he’ll be complimenting your attractiveness left and right while ignoring other girls. If he starts commenting about how sexy another woman is right in front of you and stops commenting on your sexiness, that’s a sign he’s done with you. You no longer appeal to him so his eyes are wandering and he doesn’t care if you know it. Ex: My ex would mention how cute the girls in his film class were right in front of me andwould even suggest me doing things that they did to try and make myself look better.

He doesn’t do what he says he will/ then does it immediately after you’re gone
Naturally we have to bug guys nonstop to get him to take the trash out or mow the lawn, that’s normal actually but when it comes to more important things that’s when it becomes a bad sign. If he goes on about getting a better job so he can care for his family and never does then five years go by, that’s a bad sign.

It’s even worse if directly after he lets you go he does it then hooks up with another. He tells you that he will do things with you but then mysteriously bails every time it comes up. Ex: My ex for two years talked about making a film and did nothing with it until after I was gone. He never took photos of himself but suddenly after I was gone he became a photo hound taking pictures of himself nonstop. He promised to take me camping but every time the chance came he made up excuses to keep it from happening.

He turns you into the bad guy when you haven’t done anything at all
Guys will flip things onto you so that you become the bad one in the relationship even though you might have handled every situation correctly or what he is accusing you of is untrue. The guy may complain that you’re being distant, yet he’s the one avoiding you.

He might say you don’t give him enough space, even though you changed your schedule to only see him once a week. He might say you have no goals when you’re going to school to be a lawyer while he’s sitting on the couch watching TV all day with no job. Hopefully you get the point here. It can be anything from them accusing you of being too dependent to not communicating yet they are the ones that fit what they are accusing you of being.

Ex: He claimed that I had no goals and just wanted to be a house wife just because I cleaned his apartment a few times. Just because I didn’t have a job for five months out of our two year relationship meant I was lazy. It took me five months to get a new job after I was laid off yet somehow I was lazy. For two years I worked five days a week all day except for the five months I was job searching.

He keeps asking about the status of the relationship
If the guy keeps asking “are we okay”, that’s a problem. Now, asking about the status of a relationship if it’s early off like just started dating is something I can pass. When you’re freshly dating, you want to try to make sure you’re doing things right so you can work on correcting big problems so that in the long run you’ll be fine but after awhile you should stop the asking and let things be.

By then if your relationship is good and healthy you won’t even need to be thinking about if you’re doing well. If out of the blue he starts harassing you with this question, it’s his way of saying he doesn’t think you’re doing well together and wants to break it off. Ex: When my ex and I came to our final months together he used to ask if our relationship was good every time I saw him. Each time he asked he worded it differently but it still came down to “are we okay?”

He makes comments/hinting that obviously says he’s done
If he starts making too many jokes about breaking up with you, he probably does. Every time you get into an issue with him, he shouldn’t be saying, “Geez you’re annoying. I should break up with you.” He starts hinting that you have nothing in common or hinting that he’s not right for you.

He may hint that your goals conflict with his even if they don’t. He’s trying to let you know that you’re not going to be around much longer so he’s dropping hints. Ex: My ex made jokes about breaking up with me frequently, even if it wasn’t attached to something bad. We could be eating out and he would say he should break up with me because I liked ranch with my fries instead of ketchup.

Withdrawal, avoiding and ignoring you
Remember the days he used to call or text you when he was on break at his job? These fly out the window as he starts to ignore you. You end up going long periods of time without seeing or hearing from him. When you finally get in touch with him he won’t sound too excited and might want to rush your interactions to keep them short. To put it short he wants to keep it short which means he is over you.

Ex: My ex stopped sending and responding to calls and texts. He would make up excuses to avoid me and I even had friends/family members catch him in his lies. He would say he was at work thus why we couldn’t be together but then my brother would catch him at the mall hanging with friends.

His friends are more important than you
Yes, we all have friends and like to hang with them alone without having your partnerclinging to your hand but when the friends come over you, there’s a problem. You should have equal time with friends and your boyfriend. He might start breaking plans with you for his friends. His friends get to see him six of the seven days a week and you just get the one. He’s bored with you and is getting his fun from his pals. Ex: He would break off important dates/events that we had planned for in advance just to go play games with his friends.

by Megan Star






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10 things women find UNATTRACTIVE in MEN

Guys spend a lot of time trying to figure out what attracts women. Unfortunately a lot of them are still confused about what characteristics women find repulsive in men. You are more likely to have good relationships with the opposite sex once you understand the following 10 behaviors women find unattractive.

1. Having poor grooming and hygiene
Traits such as smelling bad, having bad breath, broken or stained teeth, botching your shave job, wearing wrinkled, unflattering clothing and uncleanliness in general are not sexy and will keep women completely away from you.

2. Lack of ambition
Women love being around men who have their own life, ambitions and goals. Looks can take you a long way, but once a conversation gets going and women realize you have no goals whatsoever or you have goals but no concrete plan to achieve them, they will become instantly turned off.

3. Being irresponsible
Women don’t want to invest their time and energy into guys who can’t take care of their business and will more than likely become just another burden in their lives. The last thing a woman wants to deal with is a man who can’t ever seem to hold down a job or pay his own bills.

4. Lack of confidence
Women want their men to lead the way, protect them and make them feel secure. Constantly listing all your faults, feeling sorry for yourself and complaining about your circumstances are sure fire ways to turn a woman off and make her stay away from you for good.

5. Having no sense of humor
Whether you realize it or not, humor is critical to your success with women. In fact, a sense of humor usually tops a woman’s attraction wish list and is one of the best ways to turn her on. No woman wants to be with a guy who can never laugh at himself, make a joke or find humor in a situation.

6. Men who give too many compliments
Women love compliments, but if you make too many or too big a compliment, most women won’t believe you and will wonder what you are trying to sell them.

7. Being a drunk
Nothing is less attractive to a woman than a guy who is a sloppy drunk! If you can’t maintain your alcohol consumption, the less likely you’ll be able to use good judgment and avoid saying really stupid things around women.

8. Having a beer belly
Your stomach is predominantly what a woman sees when she looks at you. The stomach is also the main source of the excess weight on a man, so if you have a saggy, protruding pot belly, get rid of it!

9. Being obsessed with sports
Most single women are not obsessed with sports and they don’t spend their weekends on the couch watching sports on TV. There’s nothing wrong with like sports; but, having an obsession with sports can adversely affect your dating life and could even cause a woman to dump you and find someone else who can fulfill her needs that you are neglecting.

10. Being too aggressive
Women don’t like it when a man they have just met insists on touching her too often. Women mostly prefer cool, calm, gentle and well-mannered men. When you are too aggressive with a woman, you creep her out, get pushed away and you get rejected.




Why can’t my mother, wife be friends?

Dear Taiwo,

I am in a dilemma; I need someone to help me. How would I survive in the midst of this ensuing chaos in my family? I wonder why Adeola cannot find it in her heart to forgive my family, especially my mother.

I love my wife, we have been through thick and thin together and I would not want to lose her for anything in this world, but the war she is fighting with my family members is taking its toll on me. There is a lot of pressure from my family members even extended family members that I should call her to order or….Or what?

I am not interested in finding out what is after the or, but Adeola is not making things easy for me. Not that I am finding things easy with her people too, at least we don’t have a hitch-free relationship, especially between her mother and I, but I am able to manage and accommodate her, so why can’t Adeola for God’s sake take my people the way they are?

We met at a federal polytechnic; we were mates studying the same course. We were both new and we became close during the registration process. Our friendship graduated into a relationship few weeks after we met. We became inseparable and most of our classmates who didn’t know us before felt we had been dating before higher school. Adeola was God sent to me in school. Our worlds were worlds apart, with Adeola coming from the proverbial silver spoon background and I from a home and family where we could barely make ends meet.

I had to take up extra work to make money available for my education at every available opportunity, but since the day Adeola found out, she insisted that I stopped and made money available for me every time I needed money. In fact, I became her responsibility in school. She did everything for me never telling a soul. Nobody knew who was spending the money even up to clothes and other necessities.

Adeola loves me, this I know. Her action also relieved my parents of some tension and I was able to face my studies without the distraction of looking for how to survive.

The unexpected however happened few weeks to our final examinations. We discovered that she was almost four months pregnant! I deflowered her and we were foolish to engage in unprotected sex. She was having her menstrual flow quite alright, she only complained that her normal flow days reduced from five to three days and the last one she had before her mother raised the fact that she was pregnant came for only one day.

Her mother came to the school to check on her before we started our examinations, after a close look at her according to Adeola, she asked her some questions which she naively answered. Her mother took her home this fateful day and she was made to take a pregnancy test the following day, she was discovered to be 13 weeks pregnant!

As expected, her parents were angry and disappointed. Her father especially couldn’t come to terms with the fact that she got pregnant, probably because she was his favourite and the only girl in the family. He asked to see me and my parents. He raved and ranted, threatened fire and brimstone when we went to see him. At the end of the day in anger, he said Adeola should leave with us immediately and that we should come back when we have fixed the wedding date as all he owed his daughter was his blessing since she chose to do things her way.

Unfortunately, we never got to receive his blessing because he died three months later in a road accident before Adeola delivered our son and the reason we named him Babawale.

I don’t really know what happened, because ordinarily, my mother is a peace loving kind woman. Despite the fact that we struggle to make ends meet, she is amiable and accommodating, but I really did not know why she and Adeola couldn’t be friends.

After we left Adeola’s parents’ place, she went back to school to write her final papers. It was easy because we lived off campus. Her father insisted that she should go home with me and not return to their house, despite pleas. Unfortunately, from the very first day she moved in with us, it was one trouble or the other between her and my mother most of which were my mother’s fault. She just couldn’t stand or tolerate Adeola.

Written by Monica Taiwo

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